Seahorse Dad

Hello! I'm a trans man who is undergoing fertility treatments to have a baby. :) I've been thinking about making a blog for a little while to write about my journey and thoughts and feelings, and decided to finally go through with it.

My partner (who is genderfluid, so you'll see me use he/she/they pronouns for them interchangeably) and I have been seeing a fertility clinic since October of last year, so about five months now. I also stopped my HRT in October in order to do this, and got my cycle back in January. I've had several months of testing since then to make sure that I'm in tip top fertility health, from ultrasounds to a pelvic x-ray (the dye for that was the most painful part of this process by far!) to a psychological test for both me and my partner. I have a very regular cycle, so in our official consultation yesterday we decided to do IUI as naturally as we can, with no additional drugs to stimulate the ovaries. (We'll re-evaluate if we want them later, if the first few rounds of IUI don't work.)

I chose this username primarily because seahorse-dad was taken, and it was just very funny to be honest! A/B/O isn't for everyone, I know, but having male characters who can get pregnant is very gender affirming for me, so the name is sticking for now. I also have already had top surgery and have facial hair/lots of body hair, so I know my situation is going to be strange for a lot of people, and I want to de-stigmatize the idea of pregnant men where I can while still being safe.

Here's the progression from 7 weeks to 9 weeks to 12 weeks to 19 weeks! Info blocked out for privacy, of course. :)

And also some pictures of me today at 21 weeks! Not entirely comfortable sharing my face yet, but damn, looking at the second one especially is like that's a BABY!

Okay, so I left off talking about how I started with an OB in September! They did my 9-week ultrasound on October 3rd, which was really fun! I also did my glucose test then, which is early but the practice I use does it at 9 ish weeks and then later at 22, and honestly I'm glad they did--I was back on the 17th doing the 3-hour glucose test, and was unfortunately diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Thankfully it has been easy to manage--I just prick my finger 4 times a day and watch my sugar intake. It took some learning at first, but now I'm pretty good at keeping my blood sugar in check!

There was also a second ultrasound on October 24th, just because baby was a tad small on the 3rd, but seemed to be growing well! Also on the 3rd I opted to take the NIPT blood testing to check for chromosomal abnormalities, which the baby showed no signs of. That does mean we learned the gender once the results were up on the 14th, though! We're having a little girl. :)

Appointments are three weeks apart right now, partially because I am high risk due to being trans, being 35 by the time the baby is born (my birthday was last week--go me!), and the gestational diabetes. In January, they might switch me to every two weeks. But the appointments are generally very quick--go in, they ask if anything is wrong, they look at my take-home blood sugar results, and they listen to her heartbeat. It's been nice and strong every time! When she was smaller, she would "run away" from the little heart monitor when they tried to listen, which was equally hilarious and terrifying when they had to look for some time to find her. It took until my appointment earlier this month (December 5th) for her to be big enough that they found her easily!

Also, we had our anatomy scan last week! I won't get the full results until my next appointment after the holidays, but she was very active, definitely a girl and weighed 11 oz! Which is basically exactly average for her gestational age of just under 20 weeks at the time!

Other than that, I am a little sad to report that I had to go back on a very low dosage of my anti-psychotic to control my mood disorder. It was getting to the point that my levels of stress and mood swings could affect the baby, and my psych, OB and I all agreed a low dose won't hurt her and will help her if it keeps me calmer.

Oh wow, guess who forgot about this blog!! XD So uh. A lot has happened and I am so sorry I forgot to document it! I'll try to be more consistent with anything fun from now on. I guess first and foremost is that surprise, I'm pregnant!! :) I am actually exactly 21 weeks today--goes to show how long ago I made this and how busy I've been since then I guess! IUI #3 was the one that worked for me! Which is apparently exactly average! The first attempt was on May 14th, which actually lead to a realization that the donor sperm used was not the quality expected, so I got my second vial for free with just shipping paid. Because there was a lot of paperwork involved, I didn't get to try in June, but attempt #2 was July 11th, which also sadly didn't pan out. However, my attempt #3 on August 9th gave us our first positive result, right on my mom's birthday! :) It was so good to be able to give her the news--we waited for most people to tell them after the first trimester, but my mom has been invested since I first started seeing the fertility clinic, so it was a special surprise!