everybody's after love

“Intriguing,” Becca replied, keeping her voice even as she tried to process the boy’s difference of opinion to hers. There was certainly something nice about sharing something you loved and were excited about with someone else, but… it was also nice to have something just for yourself, too. To not get lost too much in what other people thought and to just enjoy something on your own. “I don’t know that it’s Wonder Woman being brave in this situation so much as Wonder Woman just knowing what she cares about, and not wanting to let anyone change her mind. She’s open to other opinions, of course – but sometimes people don’t care about things as much as she does, and that can make her sad. Sometimes it’s easier to just love things alone.”

Becca chewed on the inside of her cheek, letting her character slip up for a minute as she really thought about his question. What was the most annoying thing to her? She hadn’t really thought about it lately; she’d been so busy beating herself up that she’d hardly dwelled on the shortcomings of anyone else. “You know, the lasso must be broken, or else I really must not be sure, because I don’t have an answer for you. Maybe – I don’t know, I guess people who hide things from people they care about?” She remembered getting mad at Will last year for his whole false engagement, and getting mad at David for pretending to feel nothing for Emily. Did that count? “Lying, technically, might be what that’s called,” she laughed nervously, wishing she could go back to feeling confident like she had just a few minutes ago. Why his question had disarmed her so much, she didn’t know. “That wasn’t a very good answer, do you want to ask a different question and see if the lasso works better next time?”

“Knowing what you believe in and knowing when you need space to love things still seem pretty brave to me,” Oliver admitted, his mouth quirking to the side. Something about what she was saying resonated deep within him; he still loved Becca, but after their awkward flub it’d been harder to love together. Maybe it was because they were both scared that the other cared less now, and that made them retreat into loving each other alone. He hadn’t thought it in quite those words before and it made him sad and wistful and wish that he were spending time with Becca tonight. All he could do was hope that one day they’d feel brave enough to love together again, because the other options made him feel like he was losing his breath just standing there.

But that was a train of thought for another time. Right now, he was here with Wonder Woman, and he chuckled at the mention of the lasso being broken. “Lying,” he repeated, nodding his head. “Definitely not the best thing in the world.” He cleared his throat at the chance to ask another question and nodded. “To be honest with you, I thought your answer was fine, but I won’t say no to another one. Wonder Woman, honestly, would you like to dance again?”

Becca paused at his comment, almost feeling guilty. If he’d forgotten he was wearing a mask, did that mean that he was being his realest, truest self, and she was the only one acting a little bit phony tonight? Or was she even being phony at all? Maybe this was just a side of herself that she’d buried, because she’d been the exact same in everyone’s eyes for so long. Even Oliver’s now; she wasn’t his new, exciting girlfriend that he was getting to know anymore, she was back to being boring old Becca to another person in her life, and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and giggled at his comment to hide the slight unease she felt about her own facade.

“Really? I love the feeling of being alone sometimes; it’s almost like being transported into a whole different world,” Becca said, though she wasn’t exactly the type to go hiking or climb trees. Mostly she read up in the tallest towers of her castle, and she had a feeling that wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Giggling, she let her hand go to the lasso as she carefully lifted it back over the top of him, aware that she was so close now that if she teetered and fell she’d end up in this stranger’s arms. But just because she missed her boyfriend and how things had been before didn’t mean she wanted to be pulled close to someone else, did it? Becca really didn’t know, but her heart was pounding in her chest and she could tell she was nervous about what impression she might be giving off. That didn’t stop her, though; she passed the lasso to him once it was over his head, teasing, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask me something and find out?”

He wondered vaguely at the thought of someone loving loneliness. It was a perspective he wasn’t sure he could really even pretend to grasp, he needed people so much that he wondered if it was a problem sometimes. It might be nice, to be able to be alone. “I love the feeling of whole different worlds,” Oliver admitted - it was why he was so into movies, every one of them was like a two hour vacation to another universe. “But going there alone, I don’t know. It’s not something I could do, but Wonder Woman being braver than Wesley isn’t exactly a plot twist, now is it?” he smiled, admiring her honesty. 

He stood still and chuckled as she worked the lasso over his head, figuring she must be shorter than she looked thanks to the magic in the air by the way she teetered. It was so weird that he could spend so much time with someone and feel like he really knew her when they didn’t even know what the other looked like. Maybe that’s why it was easier. When he didn’t have to present himself as Oliver, it was the easiest to be Oliver. He’d have to ask someone about the psychology of that later, but for now he just tried to think of the best question he could as he dropped the lasso over this girl, not pulling tight because he didn’t want to come off as some creepy predatory guy. “As you wish,” he referenced, biting his lip and letting the first question he thought of come out of his mouth. “What, to you, is the most annoying thing or habit that other people do?” he asked, wondering if any of his traits would make the list.

Becca felt her heart soar when he didn’t seem opposed to the lasso – finally, a situation where she’d taken control and it hadn’t gone completely haywire. It was a nice change after the last couple of months of worrying, and she’d think about what it meant longer term tomorrow… Tonight, she would have fun, feel good about herself, and keep talking to someone who helped with both of those things, whether he meant to or not. “Well consider me more impressed, then, that this is just the real, genuine you. You know, as genuine as one can be when their identity is hidden, at least.”

Becca shot him a wink, enthralled by being able to act so… different, from her normal self. Her boring self, that was probably how other people saw her, but this boy didn’t seem to think she was boring in the slightest. And she didn’t think he was, either; he was fascinating, and it was strange to think that she could probably talk to him all night and not run out of things to say. “Must be a pretty interesting fear, then. Would I get anywhere with you if I asked you to tell me your second greatest one instead?”

"I almost forgot I was wearing a mask,” he admitted, though his chest puffed up with pride that this girl didn’t seem to think he was boring or fake or weird. He felt weird most of the time, but right now it just felt like a good conversation, some good banter, and a lot of fun. He’d been taking himself seriously for too long, as if that’d make up for being bad at things he’d wished he’d be amazing at, and he’d have to really think about how that later. Tomorrow. Not tonight.

“Keep them wanting more, you know,” he agreed before chuckling appreciatively at her cleverness. “That’s a neat almost-loophole, I’ve gotta honor it.” His first fear was definitely being boring, being forgotten, never being good enough at anything - and somehow it was all of those things mixed together without him having the verbal capacity to sum it up. The second greatest fear was a little more simplistic and it came to him as he looked up around them to see the balconies jutting out over the dance floor. “Easy. Heights,” he admitted. He’d never told anyone that except Emma back when they’d tried scaling Bald Mountain as kids, because otherwise he’d never had to. “Boring, I know, but there’s something about being so high up above other people that feels kinda alone. I’m scared of the distance more than I am of the falling, I think.” He paused and had to smile at how seriously he’d answered her question, playing with the lasso a little. “Man, this thing really works,” he joked. “It wouldn’t happen to work on Wonder Woman if I wanted to ask her the same thing, would it?”

“I haven’t, I’m not an avid reader,” Becca replied immediately, in her mind silently adding of comic books so that she wasn’t a complete and total liar. “Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman, that’s what I’d be saying all night long if I was dressed as Batman, and somehow I think the lasso’s much more fun.” She let one hand drop down from his neck to go to her waist, where the lasso that she was actually utterly useless at using hung by her side, fingering it for a second and deciding that his next answer would determine whether she let it stay there or whether she actually used it for something. At a close range like this she could easily just drop it over his head, and toy with him a little – something the real Becca would normally never do, but it seemed like the kind of thing that people found sexy and mysterious.

Beast, did she want another boy to think she was sexy? The thought made her stomach drop, but at the same time, it was true, wasn’t it? Sleeping with Oliver had gone completely awry and she felt… gross, afterwards, somehow. Like a lot of her confidence had ebbed away. So when he answered her question and said he wasn’t a fan of couples who bullied, either, she used her hand to take the rope from her side and drop it around his neck, letting it fall at his shoulders, not pulling it any tighter. “Well, it was a good answer, but say it again with the lasso of truth around you,” she teased, her heart beating faster, nervous that he’d think she was a complete and total weirdo now. “You’re not getting away from that easily, but there’s something exciting about knowing I’m not the only person ever who thought Helga was completely terrible, I’d hate for it all just to be to impress me.”

Oliver felt a little disappointed when she said she wasn’t much of a reader and he wasn’t totally sure why. He wasn’t either, really, but he supposed being Becca’s boyfriend for so long had had an impact on his expectations. It was okay, though, there were plenty of characters to talk about that weren’t in books and comics, like the ones in television shows that had disappointed them both, apparently. He definitely wasn’t expecting to end up with the lasso around his shoulders, but he grinned widely when he realized what was happening. She was funny. His heart beat faster as he wondered if this was crossing over too much into flirting with the way it affected him, but Beast, it was so easy to be goofy and happy right now without worrying how he was coming across.

Plus there was something lowkey hot about a girl taking charge like this, but he pretended he didn’t notice. Oliver cleared his throat and raised his right hand like he was swearing in at court, making sure he seemed extra truthful. “While impressing you is a nice bonus, I can honestly say that I never liked Helga.” Oliver grinned, not in any hurry to get out of the lasso of truth. “Anything else you want to ask while I’m at your mercy? I’m willing to answer anything except who I am and what my greatest fear is.”

Becca appreciated the confidence that came along with wearing a mask – with being a character from between the pages of a book or from behind a screen, instead of being herself for the evening. She didn’t particularly want to leave Westley anytime soon, knowing that the more she wandered, the more chance she had of awkward encounters; it was safer to stay right where she was. And it wasn’t a bad place to be, either. Selfish as it was, she missed being close to someone like this, even for something just as simple and peaceful as dancing. She wouldn’t even have minded if they hadn’t been having any conversation at all, just relaxing and enjoying the companionship of a stranger, although chattering away was just as nice, too, even if it did come with more risk of giving herself away.

“I actually haven’t read that one, though I have a friend who’s told me it’s iconic,” Becca confessed. “I stuck more to strong female heroes, I never really felt the need to foray into Batman on his own, I just found the Joker where things overlapped.” Was she fooling anyone, getting so excited over fictional characters like that? She didn’t know, but she was grateful for the broader topic to skip to instead, wanting to maintain her secrecy and her harmless fun for a while longer. “I don’t know, it totally bothers me when the girl is mean, too, I don’t think bullying is romantic at all, do you?” Remembering she was supposed to be a strong, confident Wonder Woman, she added, “And be careful what your answer is, the wrong one and you may need to find a new lady to save this evening for you.”

“You haven’t? Your friend is right, iconic is absolutely the right word. At this point it’s worth reading just because it’s a classic, even if it’s Joker-centric.” Oliver laughed when she said she stuck more to strong female heroes and nodded his chin at her outfit. “Yeah, I kinda figured. Not that I’m sure you wouldn’t look great in a Batman costume either, but you know. Repping Wonder Woman’s a power move.” It was great talking to someone else who thought about the characters in a plot - Oliver wasn’t good at a lot but he loved trying his hardest to follow a narrative, be it in a movie or a comic or even, sometimes, in a book. He wondered if that was a dead giveaway, but doubted it. A lot of guys liked comics. He could be Blake, off the top of his head, though he was sure wherever his friend was in the masquerade that his outfit was way more flattering.

He grinned at her warning, but it was an unnecessary one, and he shook his head even as she spoke. “Oh Beast, I never liked it,” he admitted, “but growing up and telling people you didn’t want Arnold and Helga to end up together? Was like social suicide. Who thought being anti-bullying would be such the unpopular opinion?” he laughed. “I’m just glad that just because people apparently liked it that most people don’t, you know, emulate it. I mean, if I wanted to get you to dance with me again, I know better than to pull your hair and call you...I can’t even come up with an insult to call you.” He smiled and bit his lip, looking down. He was talking too much, too too much. “Was, uh, that answer good enough to keep you as my personal hero for the evening?”

Becca felt herself buoyed by the fact that her companion seemed to find her amusing; she’d spent so much time lately being quieter than usual, getting lost inside of her own head… Tonight was like a gift from the universe, reminding her that it was okay to have fun, that she didn’t have to let her whole world fall apart just because she was apparently really terrible at sex, the number one thing in the world that boys supposedly liked. Maybe if Oliver broke up with her she could find a nice girlfriend instead or something, sex wasn’t as important to other girls, was it/ She had no idea – she banished those thoughts from her mind, determined to keep having fun and to not let nagging worries creep in and ruin her night.

“I do like a good story, Westley, whether it’s mine or someone else’s,” she giggled, not minding one bit that he wasn’t a superhero. She’d only recently started reading graphic novels herself; she’d had more free time while she’d been avoiding being alone with her boyfriend, and she’d finally made good on her promise to herself to explore that medium more. Maybe it was good timing on her part, since it seemed another easy way to throw people off track of her real identity. The music shifted to a slower song and she didn’t even hesitate to slide her arms around her companion’s neck, not wanting to stop talking so soon after she’d found him in the first place. “Beast, the Joker’s horrible, I’ve read plenty of stories and he’s just… insane. Sadistic. Cruel. I’m very glad you avoided that, because if you hadn’t you might have attracted the most unsavory people in all of Auradon,” she laughed, adding, “Harley Quinn could have been another interesting costume, actually; perhaps I’ll file that away for another day. But only the version that’s happily dating Poison Ivy, she deserves to come into her own and be free of her abuser!”

He wondered briefly if Wonder Woman was going to bail when it became a slow song -  a girl as outgoing as her probably had a ton of friends to hit up - but he found himself sighing in relief when they transitioned smoothly into the slow song position. Oliver had been having fun, but he was still a little self-conscious and the idea of trying to build a rapport back up with someone else was a little daunting still. He’d become more of his extroverted self as the ball went on, he was sure, but for now he was happy where he was, placing his hands on her back, not placing them as low as he might if this were Becca. Thinking her name made him long for her company before telling himself she was probably having a good night without him, but he ran the risk of getting too caught up in his own brain and ignoring his guest, so he tried to shake it out of his skull.

“I used to reread the Killing Joke a lot when I was a kid,” he admitted. “I think it’s pretty easy in this world full of good to be confused and a little intrigued by the bad bad bad guys, but I’m glad I avoided dressing as him too. It might have drawn up a crowd more dude-bro than I would be willing to entertain,” Oliver joked.”I’m actually surprised not to see more Harleys! She’s super cool without her dude holding her back, and the costume is super iconic. I’d probably wear the red and black jester number though, and not the Daddy’s Little Monster shirt. If I dressed as a girl. Which I don’t.” He was about to call her Blonder Woman as they swayed to the music but he wondered if a pun was too Oliveresque. “I can’t believe so many people ship Harley and Joker,” he mused. “Pairings where the girl is mean to the guy people tend to kind of ignore, but when the dude’s a dick to the lady? People are supposed to be more upset about that, right?”

Becca laughed at his retort, trying to imagine what someone else would say in response to his statement, to keep the air of mystery about her, to stick to playing a role rather than to being herself. “I’d hate to emasculate someone else who thinks they can save the world, I know how threatened you boys can be by a woman being better at what she does than you are. Little Zorro’s heart might not have been able to take it,” she giggled, thinking that Gwen would have been proud of her answer if she could have heard it.  And then they were off onto the dance floor, and if there was a lack of sure-footedness on her partner’s part, she didn’t notice it. It was hard to notice much of concrete detail at all, with the magic hanging in the air, keeping her giddy but never too focused on one thing for too long, lest she break through the charm and figure out too much. 

“Perhaps I wanted you to tell my story, Mr. Not-Reporter Westley,” she quipped, spinning out from him in a way that she wouldn’t usually try if she were being herself, and then spinning back towards him, a bright smile on her face as they resumed their dance. “Every superhero needs someone to share what they do with the world, although for tonight, I guess I can give you the exclusive even without anticipating you having a sudden career change tomorrow. The blonde’s not a statement of any sort; I had actually planned to be Supergirl and decided last minute that her television version is so… insufferable lately, that she wasn’t worthy of my imitation. Wonder Woman’s so much more aware of who she is, so much stronger and not afraid to stand alone, but it was a bit too late to buy a wig and well, dying my hair would have made it quite obvious on the morrow who I was.”

Oliver’s brows lifted with a pleasant surprise at the very feminist answer. This girl was clever. He was almost glad they were off to dance so quick, because he doubted he could’ve come up with anyone as clever in response, but of course when they were out on the floor, he just had to keep talking. He wondered if his identity would be better concealed if he just shut his mouth, but that was hard.

His eyes widened at the spin, unable to keep back an appreciative chuckle. If he’d tried doing something like that, he’d fall flat on his face and then everyone in the immediate vicinity would know who he was. “You’d be better off finding a Lois Lane for that, Miss Wonder. Westley doesn’t tell stories, he is stories,” he jested, “though I doubt you’ll have trouble finding people who find you compelling.” He hummed at the mention of Supergirl and found himself bursting into laughter when she was called “insufferable”. “I see! And here I was thinking it was some commentary about how blondes can be just as smart and strong as anyone else,” he joked, knowing blonde-discrimination wasn’t a real thing. “A very valid reason for a last-minute costume change. I feel it. I lowkey wanted to be The Joker for last Halloween in like the beginning of the year and then Suicide Squad came out and honestly it immediately fell into the ‘never’ pile. I’m glad you got to keep your costume in the super family, at least. Besides, if you were Supergirl you wouldn’t have a cool prop to literally lasso people into dancing with you. I should’ve brought a lasso, dang it.”

Becca loved the fact that when the strangers eyes locked on her, there didn’t seem to be any recognition, any clue of who she might be – she had to appreciate Fairy Godmother for that. She may use her magic sparingly, but when she chose to use it, Becca at least thought things turned out for the better. She’d forgotten what it was like to just meet someone new without feeling self-conscious, or pressured to be a certain way or expected to latch on to certain people by nights end instead, and it felt good to be able to just let her eyes roam over the person and take in their costume without worrying about Emma getting mad at her for looking at a boy who wasn’t Oliver, or without Persephone reading into her actions or… anything, really. When had life gotten so hard? It had felt so simple before.

“As you wish,” Becca teased in response to his question; she’d recognized the Princess Bride almost instantly, and started to blurt out that it was one of her favorite books… but that was such a Becca-ism, and tonight she got to be someone else. Tonight, she said, “I wasn’t looking for a Zorro anyway you were exactly who I was looking for,” before offering her gloved hand to him.

It was crazy, how he had zero idea who this girl might be. Magic was kind of nuts - it made Oliver glad it wasn’t used on the regular, because it’d be really confusing. This girls’ blond hair made him think of his girlfriend, but to be honest, most things made him think about his girlfriend. That was something that hadn’t changed, no matter how much he felt like he’d ruined things. But tonight he didn’t have to be the Oliver that had screwed the pooch, non-literally. And hanging with someone who didn’t realize how weird he’d been lately was already spectacular, his heart feeling lighter as he took her hand.

His eyes widened with joy that she got the movie reference right on the first try. “Thank you!” he laughed, leading her to the dance floor. “And I get it. Why would Wonder Woman need more super in her life, she’s got it all already.” He was about to retroactively apologize for not being able to dance and stepping on her toes but that felt like too much of an Oliver move and so he just started moving, trying his best not to be off-beat. “So, Wonder Woman, why didn’t you wig up? Or are you wearing a wig and being blonde for a statement? Tell me everything, I swear I’m not on the school paper.”

Okay, well, it just kind of sounds like you’re a weenie. Like, you don’t have any other extracurriculars, you’re just sort of too lazy to spend a lot of time on something? Super not an attractive quality, you’re lucky Becca likes you anyway. And you’re making me super glad that Mason and I didn’t end up with you and Emma, although at least she’s super dedicated to her garden. Okay, except… one play is like a whole cycle, that is for good if you’re in the play from beginning to end. Stop being so weird and elitist, it’s like you hate people who are good at more than one thing or something. You can always get better at cheerleading. You can learn new moves as they’re invented, and it’s supes important to bond with your team when you get new members to make sure you’re ready to all cheer together.

I AM a weenie, thank you! Everyone always looks at me like I’m crazy when I say that, it’s nice to find someone who agrees. And like, no offense, but I’m super glad you and Mason didn’t end up with me and Ems either - I got my soulmate, I have no complaints. I’m not hating on anyone! If anything I’m jealous of people who are great at so many things, since I’m not particularly good at anything, and I admire them like crazy, so it literally has nothing to do with that. I’m not even trying to get you to change your mind, you obviously won’t, I just feel the way I feel about theater regardless, sorry about it.

3 a.m. sounds like when you’d be asleep anyway and I don’t wanna get caught doing something gay like having to throw rocks at your window to get you to hang out. Free food? Hell yeah, your mom sounds awesome already. I never thought I’d say that about a mom, but whatever. You actually flirt with your girlfriend? I figured you didn’t have any game and that you just like, had normal conversations and somehow you got her to love you. I can’t even imagine your flirting, does it have ogres in the pickup lines? So… he’s like a villain kid, where everyone judged him just because it was easy to? Fuck, okay, maybe I’ll watch your stupid ogre movie. Yeah, but put the best ones at the beginning so I can tell if it’s worth listening through the whole thing. I don’t wanna waste my time.

It’s not gay to throw rocks at a bro’s window! I’m sure straight dudes do that all the time, I just wouldn’t know because I’ve never had a straight dude friend before. Yeah, no, a lot of moms over here are lovely, but mine is straight up awesome; she likes you already, I promise, she’s just like that, but no matter how nice she is, don’t let her adopt you, I don’t really want another brother. Your guess on how I got her to love me is as good as mine! But no pick-up lines (even if there are some sick Shrek ones I’ve got saved in my brain somewhere), and I wouldn’t call it flirting so much as, like, acting as interested in her talking as much as I actually am, but I guess it works! Or at least it did for me! Yeah, no, Shrek’s exactly like a villain kid - there’s even a royal dude who sends all the fairy tale creatures to live isolated on a swamp because he doesn’t like them or understand them! I promise if it’s stupid to you I’ll stop talking about it as much around you but, like, it’s just a generally good thing to watch, no joke. Best ones at the beginning, got it! That’s usually against my playlist code - I like playlists that rise and fall - but can do!

That makes me sound more like I’m a scientist than a friend! Emily’s busy, I’m busy; it’s not like I feel abandoned or anything. When she wants me or needs me, I’m around, it’s not a big deal. There’s no way, you would not have shown up in jeans a hoodie to prom! Not in the Becca era anyway, I bet you would have asked Aunt Anna for help… actually, I probably would have asked Aunt Anna for help, too, your mom just would have been doing all our heavy lifting to make sure we looked presentable. Persephone, probably? Will’s going to have Blake like, all over him, I’ve heard the weird things they say about tuxedos! You don’t have to follow her, though. I mean, maybe if you started splitting time and actually came and sat with us sometimes, she’d get over herself and come try it, too? You’re a great boyfriend, as far as I can tell, but maybe she’s the one that’s not the best girlfriend.

I think I figured it out - you must’ve stolen the chill from everyone else in the kingdom and that’s why everyone else is so extra and you know exactly how to handle everything, damn! I might’ve gone in jeans and a hoodie to junior prom, maybe! Or at least jeans, really nice ones, but still! Mom’s still expecting tons of pictures of all of us at prom, though, even if we probably aren’t going to let her doll us up this year, just saying! I didn’t even think about how bad Wake was probably going to be, zoinks. But while it’s all good and well for you to dance with your step-sister and me to dance with my girlfriend, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t mind if we switched once or twice or more. It’s not about “getting over herself”, Ems. She’s got some mad anxiety, and I wouldn’t be a really great support system if I just ditched her while she’s working up to feeling good enough to be around everyone again. She’s a great girlfriend, how her anxiety hits her has no effect on her relationship status, it just makes her life a little harder sometimes and makes her want to pull away, and I know that about her. And I’m fine with it. I mean, not fine like I enjoy it or anything, but fine like I want to be there for her through it. I get that it’s a lot and obviously not everyone else  has gotta be there for it, but I’m gonna choose to be there for her forever, because she’s the One. And I know she’d do the same for me. That’s love, my friend! It’s nuts, but that’s what it is.

It might be good bonding! Although I should try bonding with him first, I suppose, before I encourage my boyfriend to do it. Your dad glares at me, too! That goes both ways; I still don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. Hmm… I mean, the day after cleaning is done we could totally schedule just kissing time, no books and chores necessary. And, you know, there’s always prom coming up soon… Okay, wow, now I really need to stop, Beast, I feel like I’m as bad as Blake and Will sometimes! Sorry, apparently loving me is a bottomless pit, but hopefully the best kind – you can keep falling forever, I hope I always give you reasons to love me even more because I know that you’ll give me reasons. Oh really? I’d love to hear more about what’s so great about her; I’m very interested in what your type is for reasons.

I want to get along with your dad, but the idea of buddying up to him before you do is lowkey creepy. You’re not doing anything wrong, Becks, maybe it’s just a dad thing? Maybe I’ll be a glarer the first time our kid has a boyfriend and maybe that’s just the circle of life! Richard and Jules have never had relationships so for all we know this is the norm. I have a feeling that even if it wasn’t scheduled we’d find time for that in our agenda... Ha, no, I like it! I mean, we’d have to be waaaaay worse before we reach Bill and Wlake levels, trust me. But prom coming up..... tell me more? If I ever run out of reasons for loving you, it’s the end of the world, I’m not kidding - people should be on the lookout for that because it means I’ve been bodysnatched and that an alien invasion is coming. Well.....she’s tiny and blonde and has the softest hands and most kissable lips in the world AND not only is she a bombshell but she’s kind of a genius and one of the only people in the world who can understand my weird brain. She’s kind of perfect, which makes her less of a type and more of one in a million, though, sorry.

What a crazy and totally brand new concept! I love surprises – well, when they’re coming from you I love surprises, anyway. You could probably ask Zoe or Cassie, even, for advice if you need ideas. Or my dad! He knows a lot of great adventure stories, but he usually left reading duty to mom, he kind of stopped after Jules since she liked the action stories so much more than I did. I mean… once you finish the book, we could do lots and lots of kissing in my brand new, very clean spring-room? Although I better stop talking about it before I want to skip the book and the cleaning altogether! Oh, totally the first one, you’re as mean as an ogre, all those years of Shrek have made you completely evil at heart, like a chip off the old Farquad. Are you going to help? Because someone’s a super talented poet, you’d be a great addition!

Good picks, good picks, though I’d be way more likely to ask Cass or Zoe for reading recommendations than I would be your old man. I have no doubt he knows his way around an action story, but I still feel like he glares at me instead of looks at me and it’s the wee bittest intimidating, darling; either way, we’ll end up with a kick-butt book for me to read to you before all the kissing, don’t worry about that! I mean.... if ever there were something worth skipping a book and cleaning for altogether, it’d be that, let’s be honest. Holy Beast, a chip off the old Farquad? Have I mentioned lately that I’m completely and totally in love with you? Because I am and it’s crazy how I can keep and keep falling when I already think I’ve fallen all the way. I’d be down to join the literary mag... I heard it was run by some real cute girl so, like, extra incentive.

I used to think I could keep up, but I think actually I was just waiting for Emily to tell me what she was going to do next and I just adapted quickly. I’m going to wing it – Persephone’s helping me pick something, you know how awful I am at all this girly stuff. Are you sure about that? I mean, you can spend prom with your girlfriend, I think that’s technically what it’s for, and we have another one next year or whatever. Yeah, we’re all friends, you’re right. Will’s been reminding me of that too, it’s not like I forgot, you guys are the ones that have been sitting at a different lunch table, not us.

It’s hard to tell! Because if anyone could keep up, it’d probably be you - the only way to find out is to hang with Emily again, just long enough to gather data and report back your findings on whether you’re psychic or a chameleon, aysap. Thank Beast for Persephone, then; I love you but I wasn’t going to struggle through figuring out all the girly stuff with you, we would’ve just been rocking it in jeans and a hoodie, if that’s even allowed at prom. Hey, I can spend prom with everyone I care about. It’s not all or nothing, and besides, if I don’t dance with you, who are you going to dance with? Will? Didn’t think so. It’s how she feels most comfortable still. I’m not going to push her. It’ll end eventually but in the meantime I’m there for her so might as well show her, right? Relationships are weird, but I like to think I’m doing it semi-right.

All right, some day after tourney practice I’m coming over to your ice palace then, be prepared. I mean, unless your parents are the kinda people who are worried I’m gonna steal shit, in which case maybe I better not. Lent seemed like a fake thing so yeah, that’s all I gave up – but it was probably harder than Shrek puns, your girlfriend’s hot and Shrek seems stupid. Mostly ‘cause I don’t know what it is but you’re talking about ogres and I didn’t think that kinda thing would be wanted in Auradon. Queen and AC/DC, gotcha, I’ll add that to the list I’m keeping in my brain. It’s not very long ‘cause all these names sound like gibberish and I’m forgetting them fast, but hey, maybe Queen’ll stick.

Nah, my parents are totally cool, you can come over whenever you want! I mean, like, probably trying to get in at 3 AM isn’t the best idea, but otherwise? King Kristoff and Queen Anna are totally nice and totally open, dude - I bet my mom will even want to bake you cookies, so you be prepared for that. Lent is some religious thing I’m not sure I get, but I know you gotta give up something you like every year  - I’m glad we gave up things the way we did, though, because you don’t make Shrek puns anyway and it wouldn’t have been a loss, and I could never stop flirting with Becks, not even for a second. Shrek isn’t stupid, though, you’re just saying that because you don’t know! It’s about an ogre who everyone sees as and treats as evil so much that he believes it, until a weird quest and a mysterious princess remind him that people can have many layers - and it’s hilarious and has an amazing soundtrack and some of the best voiceacting of our lifetime, a must watch. If I make you a playlist with some bands I think you’ll like, would you listen? That way you wouldn’t have to remember them, they’d be right there on your phone.