phoenix

“They never do,” Cadence agreed with a sigh, looking back at her books with no little amount of disdain. If school had been hard before she’d transferred, it seemed impossible to her now. She wasn’t sure how the Foxes kept up. Maybe there was some secret she wasn’t in on yet, some tutor or bribe she hadn’t been around enough to be clued in on. 

Cadence realized about five seconds after she spoke that she had no idea what she had in mind. “Not really,” she confessed, already stuffing her books into her bag. It was better that way, really; she wasn’t going to get anything done in that moment, even if Olivia did reject her offer. “Honestly, would anything be worse than this, though? There is a cafe downtown I wanted to check out.” A lie, but a plausible lie that might help them both.

Olivia mulled it over for a moment. She was tired, and didn’t think staring at the same page for six hours would get her anywhere. She deserved a break, and outside of schoolwork and practice, getting to know one of her teammates better was probably the best use of her time. It was a shame that she was still so far behind on that front.

“Yeah, alright, I could definitely stand to be caffeinated,” she said, following suit and putting her things away. She doubted it would actually help her, but not much would at this point. She had already resigned herself to a three am cram session, she might as well pick up some stuff for the dorm, maybe win some points with her roommates. “Do you wanna walk or should I call a car?”

On any given day, Glory found herself attracted to the gym. Not only was Exy keeping her fit, but the gym was the easiest way for her to relieve some pent up aggression from practice. Every player was so different in the ways that their personalities meshed and flowed together. There was the mix of angry players, and those that decided to play with grace. She was not one of those players. She had always been rough, pushing outside of the boundaries and getting herself in trouble. Last game was no different. The regret was still swimming through her even though she had beat up a kickboxing bag like it was no one’s business the day after the game. Her mind was still full and her brain wasn’t clearing. She needed anything else to distract her. Spotting Olivia running, she sighed as she made her way to the treadmill, resting her arms on the top and pressing the stop button. “Hi. Running is boring, isn’t it? Wanna come kickbox with me? I’ll let you go first.”

“Um.” When the machine stopped under her, Olivia knew it was less of an offer than the other girl made it out to be. Not that she minded, necessarily. She usually worked out alone, but it would do her some good to spend time with her teammates off the court. She planned to make Palmetto her permanent home until graduation, and while she wasn’t looking for any long lasting relationships, she’d be doing herself a favor by making sure she was at least on friendly terms with the other Foxes. Also, Glory looked like she really needed to vent out some of that energy, and Olivia was nothing if not accommodating. “Sure? You can go first though.” Olivia grabbed up her ipod and water bottle, gesturing for her to lead the way. “I don’t kickbox much.”

Some people seemed to stay in Exy Mode all the time and Teddy wasn’t one of those people. If he was bored enough he’d study previous games or maybe take himself to the court for a little extra practice but Exy more or less stayed within the timetables of their practices and games for him. Teddy loved Exy but he couldn’t let himself got addicted to it because he would and then it’d break his heart when it stops being a permanent fixture in his life. If it stops being a permanent fixture in his life.

He understood how some people could stay in Exy Mode for much longer though. For some of the people on this team it was their past, present, and future; sometimes it was like living with a number of Kevin Day’s (or at least that’s how he imagined it would be). Now that Teddy thought about, maybe if he spent more time on Exy then he’d come up with less stupid ideas like getting shots from strange men and eating his weight in McDonald’s fries.

Teddy shrugged when Olivia refused his offer and said, “Suit yourself,” as he slumped into the space on the couch she made for him. He winced, having forgotten about his ribs for a second and landing quite hard. He straightened and slowly manoeuvred himself so he was sitting upright but cross legged, breathing sharply through the momentary flair of pain. “Sore,” he said, “what are you doing? Not with the others?”

Olivia winced a little in sympathy. She had seen her fair share of injuries, and bruised ribs were no small thing in her experience. Pain aside - the faint scent of alcohol under the overwhelming smell of salt and grease told Olivia how Teddy was coping with the pain - you ran the risk of getting a chest infection, which if not treated correctly, could have you off the court for weeks. So early in the season, such a thing could be devastating. Not that she was going to tell Teddy any of this, obviously.

“Ah, just browsing some of the blogs, watching highlights from tonight,” she shrugged, tapping her fingers over the tablet. “I don’t really know what the others are up to, you’re the first one I’ve seen in a while.”

01 / BASICS

FULL NAME: Olivia Anaya Finch NICKNAME: Liv, or Anaya by her mother. BIRTHDAY: January 3rd GENDER: Cis female SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Undetermined. (She got no clue) ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Capricorn SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English and Punjabi BIRTHPLACE: Concord, NH RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Perpetually single.

Most the team was upset with themselves or pissed at someone else, even though they had won. The Foxes were a team that weren’t used to winning, and yet some treated this win as if it wasn’t something to be celebrated; an attitude like that could put them back where they started. Kent wasn’t often one to look on the bright side. He was full of guilt which turned to anger towards himself, knowing there was no one else to fault. He tried to run from that anger, which only made him feel guiltier and in turn, angrier, staring the vicious cycle all over again. 

But tonight, that didn’t matter. Tonight, he felt impressed with himself, or with his exy skills, at least. He couldn’t be angry at the sport, couldn’t be upset with how he played; exy was the one way he could release that anger that burned so hot inside of him, sparked hotter by the energy that had been pulsing through his veins endlessly since he was born. And now, it fueled the pep in his step as he thought back on that penalty shot, the one that made him cocky as ever, only amplified by the booing of the crowd. He shrugged as Olivia spoke up, looking over at his teammate. “Dunno. I’m not regretting that fuckin’ awesome shot. Apparently people forgot that we used to be the worst damn team in the league.”

“And you shouldn’t,” she said, beaming. At least someone seemed to be in relatively high spirits. “Seriously impressive.” She walked over to the benches, snagging her water bottle and taking a sip. “Good. By the end of this season, no one will remember us for being anything but great.” It was a stretch, but Olivia was nothing if not optimistic.

“Whatever slump they’re in, hopefully they shake it off in time for the banquet.” Exy banquets, in Olivia’s experience, weren’t something to be enjoyed, but she was hoping that this year might change that for her. She always had something to prove when she went out with the Lions - I am happy, I am well adjusted, I am not a victim. She was a hostage, smiling with a knife held to her back, an animal on a tightly wound leash. A year and one transfer later, and she still had something to prove. I am strong, we are winners, you should not underestimate us. A part of her feared retribution, everyone saw what happened to Zia at last year’s Winter Banquet, but she’d been afraid before. She refused to let that control her this year. “For morale’s sake, if nothing else.”

It was an old and bitter excuse on his tongue already, despite the fact that he’d only been their manager for a few months now. Any time he got caught putting in more effort than anyone expected of him (and as much shit as he talked about Exy in general no one expected anything of him and he was sure that they questioned why Wymack had even brought him on), he pulled it out again. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t lose my job. And maybe not all of them knew it, if any of them did, but the job was the only reason he was still at Palmetto. So he threw himself into it in thanks, despite his disdain for sports. 

That’s what it had been at first. Now… now, he’d keep telling himself it was still that, despite the fact that how hard the Foxes tried and how much they cared touched the quiet part of him that wondered what might’ve happened if he hadn’t had to fight so hard to get here. They’d all had to fight for their lives at one point or another. That’s what made the Foxes. Dominic brushed a thumb against his bottom lip, shaking his head at her question. “I like doing stuff like this,” was what he finally said, and as true as it was it wasn’t the truth. “Coach didn’t have to ask me to do anything.” Again, true, and closer to the truth than what he’d said before had been. The team manager looked over at Olivia, and the smile that graced his lips for a second was self-depreciating. “It’s just something to fill the time, and if it didn’t have to do with Exy I’d say it wasn’t any of your damn business.” He shrugged, broad shoulders rolling smoothly. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Olivia found that some of the Foxes made it hard to remember what kind of team they were, how they all ended up here. From the outside, it was easy to see them as a bunch of lowlife degenerates. Criminals. Problem children. She definitely harbored this bias for most of her young adult life, much to her embarrassment. Sure, they weren’t boyscouts, but in her limited experience, she found there was very little to distinguish them from any other team in the league. They weren’t at all what Olivia expected.

As for their team manager... well, he almost exactly fit the bill. All sharp angles and hard lines, there was always an aura of danger that surrounded him, a ferocity. Exy could be a brutal sport. She’d seen many players use the game as an excuse for mindless violence, and it kept them reasonably tame off the court, but.. Dominic wasn’t an Exy player. He had no court to take it out on. She didn’t know what he channeled all of that violence into, but she could hedge a few guesses.

Not that she tried to make assumptions about her peers, but, it was hard not to be a little curious, and moreso, a little cautious.

She knew the end of a conversation when she heard it. She wasn’t dumb enough to push for an answer that sounded a little more real. “And you’d be right,” she said, tearing her eyes away. “I just recognized a couple of names, is all. I like doing stuff like that too.” She leaned back on her hands, staring up at the clock on the wall. “I was just gonna run some extra laps before practice.” She shrugs. “It’s a better use of my time than sitting around in my room.”

Cadence shook her head in response, knowing all to well that sometimes nothing helped at all. At least, that was her experience. She looked at the page in front of her, only staring for a second before the words started to blur together. “There are days made for studying and then there are days that end in ‘Y’.” She managed a small smile at her own joke, shaking her head as she looked toward Olivia again. 

While she couldn’t say she trusted her team yet, moments like this made it easier to feel like she belonged; her last team had always made her feel like an outsider. They had always been so perfect and put together; at least the Foxes never pretended to be more than they were. “Maybe a distraction will help?” It was what tutors used to suggest to her, though she was old enough now to realize the break was for them, not her.

Olivia laughed. “Seems my professors didn’t quite get the memo.” She knew she was being dramatic. This was absolutely doable. If she lost her head now, she didn’t know how she’d make it through the rest of the year. Still, it was nice to know she wasn’t alone.

“Ah..” she should have declined. Olivia has only ever gotten anything done by forcing herself to, keeping herself on track. She feared if she allowed this train of conversation to continue, she’d never get anything done. However, she also thought that if she opened that book again she’d cry. “Did you have anything in mind?” she asked.

“22,” he said, shortly, in greeting. He didn’t lift his eyes again, but adjusted his glasses all the same, marking another name with a star instead of scratching it out completely. The margins were filled with notes, in a messy hand. He leaned back after a moment, glancing up at her question with a slightly wrinkled nose. “I’m going over stats versus people who fucked themselves academically last year. I’m trying to make a short list of people who we might actually be seeing on the court. People scratched out completely are ones who have a long history of academic issues, people with the little stars are ones with more recent troubles that made continue into this year.”

Dominic paused, mouth clicking shut. He’d given far too much of himself with just that little spiel, because it showed that he actually kinda sorta almost gave a shit about the Foxes.

Olivia  hadn’t had many - or any, really - full conversations with their team manager, probably because he couldn’t even be bothered to call her by name, but as someone who could spend hours talking stats and strategies, she could hardly help herself. She smiled. “That’s.. really smart,” she said, her heart giving a weird little twinge. She didn’t mention that her dad had made similar charts when she played for him in high school. His home office was a mess of papers, graphs, and charts scattered about in an order and scrawl she was sure only he could understand. 

She’d never got the impression that Dominic especially cared about the Foxes as a team, or Exy as a sport. Definitely not enough to spend time on this when he didn’t really have to. “Is that homework from Wymack, or..?”

Four textbooks. Fifteen pages. An essay, it’s rough draft, a thesis statement, equations and diagrams and a ridiculous poem she wasn’t prepared to write. Cadence was surrounded by things she hated, her eyes casting from one to the next. She’d been there for hours now, trying to work her way through at least one assignment, to no avail. The rough draft was complete but the essay was only half-finished before it was abandoned. Her equations were sloppy but filled out, even if she wasn’t sure half of them were complete. The poem was… Well, she was probably just going to fail. 

She looked up at the welcome distraction of another person’s distress, offering Olivia a smile when she caught her eye. “You’re fine. In fact, let me just second that sentiment.” She flipped her own book shut dismissively, leaning back in her seat with a sigh. 

Olivia smiled, not a little relieved to know at least it wasn’t a complete stranger she’d just lashed out at. Her and Cadence weren’t friends, Olivia didn’t think could say any of her teammates were her friends, but the freshman had always been nice to her, and seemed to be able to empathize with Olivia’s aversion of schoolwork. Normally, finding one thread of common ground with someone was as close to companionship as Olivia got. With her high school teammates it was just her playing with them every Friday that earned her seat at the lunch table. She clung as tight as Zia would allow her first year with the Lions; they were the only girls, and they shared that burden for as long as they were on the same team. Privately, Olivia thought that was the closest she’d ever come to actual friendship.

“I thought getting out of my room would help me concentrate,” she said, turning around in her seat to face Cadence. It’s not like she wasn’t getting anything done, anyways. She’d likely be up until the early morning trying to finish. “I guess you can see how much that helped.”

Olivia was buzzing, her smile splitting her face in half as she went down the line to shake hands. The Terrapins were obviously less than enthusiastic, but she didn’t mind. For the first time in over a year, Olivia had played Exy, and enjoyed it. More than that, they won. It was irrational to be this happy, probably; there was still a lot of room for improvement. Still even as she watched from the bench, each play filled her heart with hope that this would be the year the Foxes came out on top. 

For the most part, she seemed to be alone in this feeling. With some exceptions, the Foxes seemed inappropriately subdued. She stood near the edge of the court as their opponents filled out, her expression incredulous. “Okay... why does it look like we just played two different games?” she asked, looking up at the closest person to her, Kent. Not because she thought he’d be particularly insightful, but because he was there. “I mean, we just won, right? Why is everyone so..” she gestured with her hands, meaning to somehow convey the overall gloom that seemed to linger on the court.