your fake croatian girlfriend

it’s that time of night when my posts about television characters suddenly turn into slam poetry about my trauma three sentences in

if u want to get the ick imagine them getting frustrated while trying to parallel park

i finally tried watching love island and within five minutes i had such insane ebony darkness dementia raven way hater energy towards everyone in it that i decided it was better for my mental health to never engage with it again

sometimes clown will really sincerely suggest we watch some boyslop i have absolutely no interest in and it’s like yeah you know what. put on the new x-man cartoon you beautiful dweeb

so many of my exes are trans now they should call this pussy the egg cracker

THEE drama i would get into on deviantart back in the day…crazy shit

i told my therapist about how much fun i had doing a puzzle the other day and she was like “have we talked much about whether you’re on the autism spectrum?”

like from the movie next friday? yes like from the movie next friday

“we should totally just stab caesar” is a great shorthand for the experience of becoming irrationally angry about something bc you’re preoccupied with something else which is why i can’t stop sayyyyying it

so much of contact is just sagan having an imaginary argument in his head about whether god is real. get to the aliens brother

i would have shoved carl sagan in a locker i’ll tell you that for free