Me.

not dating me? sad. tragic. for you at least

It makes sense that the target audience for fidget toys lost interest in fidget toys so quickly

2016, 2017, and 2018 are like a movie trilogy that just gets weirder with each installment

You’re a different person to everyone. You’re the hero, the villain, the sidekick, the unrequited love, and and an “extra” in other people’s life story

Telling children that you won’t get mad if they tell the truth and then getting mad about it will turn them into massive liars in the future

The “b” in “subtle” is subtle

The whole anti-vax rise is really just natural selection in action

One day there is going to be a reboot of the Harry Potter movies, and an entire generation of us is going to hate everything about it

IMPORTANT

If there is truly an infinite number of universes, then there’s a universe where all dice rolls ever have landed on four and scientists keep trying to discover why but can’t figure it out.

Each time you kill a spider the spider gene pool becomes sneakier and deadlier.

If semen glows under UV light, a penis ejaculating under a blacklight would look like a laser cannon.

Solar energy is just Nuclear Energy from a safe distance.

Setting the bar really low in a game of limbo is actually setting the bar really high.

People with schizophrenia may just be living partially in the 4th dimension, interacting with people from the past and future.

If you aren’t confident about your looks, just remember that you look like your ancestors and they all got laid.

Martin Luther King Jr and Anne Frank were born the same year but are always perceived as two completely different ages.