life is a series of ceilings to stare at
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@oldpride-youngfire
life is a series of ceilings to stare at

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Repeat to yourself that they’re not really gone
Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over
Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
Overanalyse every single word you hear
“Was this a sign that things were going wrong?”
No, no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them
Stay up every single night staring at your phone
Either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
Or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love
Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
Always bring your notebook, never stop writing
Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
Watch them smile as you get in your car
Always talk down on yourself whenever possible
My life is shit because I deserve it, right?
You must have done something really bad
And it's nearly impossible for you to cry now
Avoid your friends for weeks even though they’re the only sense of consistency you have left in your life
If they really wanted to see you they’d come, but they won’t
(Who cares?)
Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don’t fight it
Become a secondary character in your own motion picture
But most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum
Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach, you’re drinking bottled love now
You don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness
You just needed to find a way to talk to it
No one laughs at God in a hospital, no one laughs at God in a war, no one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very poor…
I woke up not enough awake today, just to take in the smell of the fake red poinsettias, Well, I’m well aware I’m treating life as a way to pass the time It is never an effort to grin, to laugh, but it is laborious to live it like my last See through me, see through me so see through, see me through It’s not the grave dates on the tomb, it’s the short and sweet dash between the two, But I swear sometimes, it’s like I’m running on stumps and I am still nowhere, so out of sorts. Always so short and sweet I’ve swallowed too much concrete, my worst intentions got the best of me I’ve been so hate savvy and I’ve lost my tongue to the biting I shake from the rain in my knees, It never has the nerve not to pour. Indian summer sunburns leave me lacking what I’ve learned, but I never forgot myself. We’ve lost the brass that we were born with, we were bent to fit, Bent to wear these wooden baskets. More to a whisper than a yell, But we scream just to get the chills, Just to hear the timber echo back in the boxes we’ve been planted in.

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hey do you think ronald mcdonald is a dom or sub. i sent this before but im not sure if you got it or not
yeah i got it last time
“this is a good place,” he said
“there’s a lot of liquor,” I agreed
“Climbing to a high chamber in a well of houses, he threw himself down in his clothes on a neglected bed, and its pillow was wet with wasted tears. Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away.”
YO WHO ELSE IS TIRED OF THIS

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I lost connection with all of my best friends, I wanted to feel the sensation of cutting the cord. Regrets stay present from the past inside of my head, I can only imagine a breath of fresh air. Life has too many entrances & exits, well maybe they’re not so different after all.
Joyce Manor | Falling In Love Again
I think you’re funny I like your friends I like the way they treat you I’ve got some money that we could spend not that you’re like that I’m falling in love again
you are all I need

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my brain: you’re worthless and no one will ever love you
me: