Hypocrite

Safety Off \\ Joel & Sammy

The older man gave her a nod at the thanks, not much for the mushy-gushy stuff (as she was right to suspect). He ran a hand back through his hair before sighing, “I think that about does it for today. We’ll practice again another time.” he told her as he patted her shoulder, turning her around towards the exit. He didn’t know exactly if he should say some -- he always had a hard time with that, even with Abigail. It wasn’t that he didn’t like giving praise and encouragement, he just didn’t want to give it out too freely. If someone was given too much praise, would they have the motivation to exceed expectations? Or even, would they be encouraged to act outside of times when they weren’t being praised for it? Joel came off as harsh sometimes not because he was cruel, but because he didn’t believe babying people helped them any. Leading her out of the station again, he pulled out a cigarette when he free from the confines of the ‘dungeon’. “Now just stash that somewhere safe but not where it’s not useful. A night stand is always a good place. Keep it loaded but the safety on at all times.” he instructed her, his eyes once again getting back to work on surveying their surroundings. “Just...be careful.”

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

“Keep your voice down.” Was all Joel could manage to growl out when he stopped again, his stance anything but calm. He kept his fists balled and at his sides, wanting to just tell her to move. Compared to him she was just a kid in his eyes; she could try and pretend to know what he had raging inside him, but in the end it was all guess work on her part. What he didn’t get was with what she did know – why should was trying to help. He had done nothing to deserve it. If anything, he’d done everything to be blacklisted out of her life.  Still – his pride and guilt would be the death of. Even when her voice calmed down he kept his eyes closed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He just wasn’t ready to face it. And he definitely wasn’t ready to face her. Not with how she looked. It wasn’t fine and it never would be. Finally he let out a sigh, not having near as many words for her as she did him. He needed time to think. They both needed time to heal. Maybe soon he’d be able to tell her more about why it was so hard…but not now. “Will you please move.” Joel growled under his breath, opening his eyes again to look at her. “Please.”

“Yea -- I’ll come check on you in a few days.” Joel muttered but honestly? Part of him was wondering if this town was really worth it anymore. He’d done his fair share of mauling the townsfolk. He was starting to think he’d probably killed more people than he had helped. “You take care of yourself, kid.” he finished as he pulled out another cigarette again, popping it between his teeth as he finally used his hands to very carefully move her out of his way, walking past her to go home. He didn’t stop this time and he prayed she wouldn’t follow. It really was for the best. For all his yelling and growling, really did hide a man she described: scared and more than a little tired. Even if he wanted to take her advice, neither rode was easy. He was just too old for this shit.

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

“Keep your voice down.” Was all Joel could manage to growl out when he stopped again, his stance anything but calm. He kept his fists balled and at his sides, wanting to just tell her to move. Compared to him she was just a kid in his eyes; she could try and pretend to know what he had raging inside him, but in the end it was all guess work on her part. What he didn’t get was with what she did know -- why should was trying to help. He had done nothing to deserve it. If anything, he’d done everything to be blacklisted out of her life.  Still -- his pride and guilt would be the death of. Even when her voice calmed down he kept his eyes closed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He just wasn’t ready to face it. And he definitely wasn’t ready to face her. Not with how she looked. It wasn’t fine and it never would be. Finally he let out a sigh, not having near as many words for her as she did him. He needed time to think. They both needed time to heal. Maybe soon he’d be able to tell her more about why it was so hard...but not now. “Will you please move.” Joel growled under his breath, opening his eyes again to look at her. “Please.”

Safety Off \\ Joel & Sammy

He wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t impressed by how quickly she picked it up. For someone who was very obviously a pure-bred, his pupil was a natural with man’s weapons. Waiting for her to empty the magazine before he moved forward, he gave the girl a thumbs up as he pushed the button to bring in the target. A few shots had hit the silhouette of the man, but a lot of them were also missing altogether. “Yep -- definitely beginner’s luck.” he teased her, putting up another piece of paper. “Let’s do it again.” Joel had the Izumi girl empty at least another four magazines, giving her pointers between every one, before he finally let up. He still remembered how sore his own fingers had been the first day he had ever picked up a gun. They would definitely be a little tingly for the rest of the day at least. Still, he had one more gift for the day. “Before you go I want to give you one more thing.” he said as he packed up the weapon and bullets into a case, turning back to her. “I know it might seem extreme -- but I want you to have this. No -- you don’t have to carry it around like I do mine, but some time I’d like to get back to practicing, and I like my friends to be well protected.” he gave her a soft smile, extending the case to her. 

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

“No.” he quickly snapped. A little more harshly than he really intended. He was aware though of how overly stubborn he was being. He saw the benefits of being able to control his wolven self, but every ounce of his humanity cried out that that would mean he’d have to do the one thing he had been avoiding for so long: embracing it. He couldn’t do that – not after all it had done to him. “No – I can’t. It can’t be done. I just need a stronger bunker.” he repeated, this time is tone low but not riddled with hatred. He’d thought about it for a long time now. If he could just build himself a cage underground with a small enough door but deep enough for the wolf to fit it just might work.  Her reassurance still fell on deaf ears. Instead his mind was re-filled with bigger and better tactics. Eventually he’d beat the wolf into submission if anything. If he could break him, maybe he’d have a chance. But learning to ‘control’ it? His missed his daughter too much to open himself up to the possibility. “You should eat something – get your strength back. I should probably get going.” he muttered back, fishing his wallet for the cash for his coffee that he’d hardly touched.

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

He couldn’t help but scoff at her words. It wasn’t him? It was every bit him. He made the wolf what it had become. Maybe the creature thought it had its own sentience but that was far from the truth. The wolf was born form Joel’s hate and bitterness. It fed off his insecurities and cruelest thoughts as if they were norm and not the rarity. It was all him. Down to the bloodied claw. No matter what she said it didn’t help. He shook his head again, letting it fall as his hands moved to lace together over his neck before he ran his hands through his unruly grays. This was just getting worse and worse. When she asked her second question, he really was eager to be tight lipped about it. He didn’t share this with anyone. Not Sammy, not anyone who was still breathing. But he owed her, god…he might be in debt to this girl for the rest of his life. The only way he’d be more so is if he had put her in a comatose state. Steeling himself, Joel looked back at her at last, managing to keep the gaze. “Bit. About two weeks later I guess. The first few times it happened I was able to use the cell blocks at the police station when I was on night duty, but it became too risky. I’m guessing caging myself like that in the beginning wasn’t the best meet and greet I could have proposed…” he muttered quietly, keeping his eyes locked on her still. “I’ve always been a hunter first and foremost since I came to Coldgrove. I was bit by a she-wolf. A beta. I killed her…right when she practically killed me.” he sighed, rubbing his shoulder as an indicator as to where the was. “Her last parting gift for me I guess.”

“No.” he quickly snapped. A little more harshly than he really intended. He was aware though of how overly stubborn he was being. He saw the benefits of being able to control his wolven self, but every ounce of his humanity cried out that that would mean he’d have to do the one thing he had been avoiding for so long: embracing it. He couldn’t do that -- not after all it had done to him. “No -- I can’t. It can’t be done. I just need a stronger bunker.” he repeated, this time is tone low but not riddled with hatred. He’d thought about it for a long time now. If he could just build himself a cage underground with a small enough door but deep enough for the wolf to fit it just might work.  Her reassurance still fell on deaf ears. Instead his mind was re-filled with bigger and better tactics. Eventually he’d beat the wolf into submission if anything. If he could break him, maybe he’d have a chance. But learning to ‘control’ it? His missed his daughter too much to open himself up to the possibility. “You should eat something -- get your strength back. I should probably get going.” he muttered back, fishing his wallet for the cash for his coffee that he’d hardly touched.

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

The hairs on the back of his neck bristled, his shoulders tensing as she finally spat it out. He bit on the inside of his cheek as his nails dug into his palm. Every part of him told him he didn’t have to talk about this. He could just leave. He could walk away and never see her again, but he knew that wasn’t right or fair. If he really had hurt her….her owed everything. He finally let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, looking out the window for a moment before he shook his head, “No. I’m not at all. I’ve tried multiple times to cage myself, but I always manage to get out. I can’t remember jack shit and…” his voice was beginning to get a little shaky, his words slipping. He took another breath as he let his eyes sit back on hers again but finding he still couldn’t hold the gaze, dropping them back to the table. “It was me wasn’t it. Whatever happened to you…”

He couldn’t help but scoff at her words. It wasn’t him? It was every bit him. He made the wolf what it had become. Maybe the creature thought it had its own sentience but that was far from the truth. The wolf was born form Joel’s hate and bitterness. It fed off his insecurities and cruelest thoughts as if they were norm and not the rarity. It was all him. Down to the bloodied claw. No matter what she said it didn’t help. He shook his head again, letting it fall as his hands moved to lace together over his neck before he ran his hands through his unruly grays. This was just getting worse and worse. When she asked her second question, he really was eager to be tight lipped about it. He didn’t share this with anyone. Not Sammy, not anyone who was still breathing. But he owed her, god...he might be in debt to this girl for the rest of his life. The only way he’d be more so is if he had put her in a comatose state. Steeling himself, Joel looked back at her at last, managing to keep the gaze. “Bit. About two weeks later I guess. The first few times it happened I was able to use the cell blocks at the police station when I was on night duty, but it became too risky. I’m guessing caging myself like that in the beginning wasn’t the best meet and greet I could have proposed...” he muttered quietly, keeping his eyes locked on her still. “I’ve always been a hunter first and foremost since I came to Coldgrove. I was bit by a she-wolf. A beta. I killed her...right when she practically killed me.” he sighed, rubbing his shoulder as an indicator as to where the was. “Her last parting gift for me I guess.”

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

‘Here we go…’ Joel closed his eyes when she began speaking, the hands on top of the table beginning to fidget with themselves. He gave her a nod though after a moment, “As long as you stop calling me Batman. I’m not a hero.” Joel muttered back to her, scratching the back of his head. He wished he could say he was. Somedays he liked to believe everything he did was the right thing. Forcing his wife to despise and leave him. Ostracizing himself from society. Killing…all that killing… It didn’t matter how much he tried. He always still felt like shit. Sitting back in the booth, he gave the woman a little nod when she brought back the coffees, asking if they wanted anything to eat. Joel shook his head – at this point he almost felt certain that her soreness was in someway connected with him and made him feel like he had already swallowed a dozen stones. He didn’t know how yet, but even a scratch on the girl was enough for him to feel the need to go punch a wall a few times. He began to reach for his cigarettes when he remembered suddenly why he didn’t frequent the diner that often. Smoke-free. He gave an annoyed huff before pocketing them again, looking back at his companion when the waiter left again, his muddy eyes already filled with the guilt he didn’t even had a reason yet to have.

The hairs on the back of his neck bristled, his shoulders tensing as she finally spat it out. He bit on the inside of his cheek as his nails dug into his palm. Every part of him told him he didn’t have to talk about this. He could just leave. He could walk away and never see her again, but he knew that wasn’t right or fair. If he really had hurt her....her owed everything. He finally let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, looking out the window for a moment before he shook his head, “No. I’m not at all. I’ve tried multiple times to cage myself, but I always manage to get out. I can’t remember jack shit and...” his voice was beginning to get a little shaky, his words slipping. He took another breath as he let his eyes sit back on hers again but finding he still couldn’t hold the gaze, dropping them back to the table. “It was me wasn’t it. Whatever happened to you...”

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

Shit happens… ‘The moon happens.’ was more like it. Once again he found himself thinking a very familiar phrase: ‘Fuck the moon.’ Joel didn’t respond when she tried to prove indecisive. Her first iteration at given her away to what she really wanted. Instead he continued to lead her down towards one of his favorite diners which had the best waffles and steaks this side of the Mississippi.  When she handed him the bag, he gave her a small nod of thanks, wrapping up the painting before tucking it back under his arm, just in time as they finally reached the place, it thankfully (or not so thankfully) being close to her location. “You ever been here? Abram’s Diner?” he questioned her as he opened the door, following her inside soon after and picking a booth in the corner of the joint, far away from everyone else. After the full moon, Joel tended to keep fifty feet between himself and civilians if he could help it. Survivor’s guilt was the best way to describe it, maybe. When the server arrived he ordered a plain, black coffee before giving Tea the reins to order what she wanted. The man stashed the painting beside him in the booth, trying to keep his eyes on her but it made him uneasy. There was no doubt that he could read that she was hesitating. Her own eyes continued to fidget like his own. Eventually he figured she would get the bravery to get to what she planned to, which only made his insides squirm. His eyes quickly turned to find the nearest exit just in case.

‘Here we go...’ Joel closed his eyes when she began speaking, the hands on top of the table beginning to fidget with themselves. He gave her a nod though after a moment, “As long as you stop calling me Batman. I’m not a hero.” Joel muttered back to her, scratching the back of his head. He wished he could say he was. Somedays he liked to believe everything he did was the right thing. Forcing his wife to despise and leave him. Ostracizing himself from society. Killing...all that killing... It didn’t matter how much he tried. He always still felt like shit. Sitting back in the booth, he gave the woman a little nod when she brought back the coffees, asking if they wanted anything to eat. Joel shook his head -- at this point he almost felt certain that her soreness was in someway connected with him and made him feel like he had already swallowed a dozen stones. He didn’t know how yet, but even a scratch on the girl was enough for him to feel the need to go punch a wall a few times. He began to reach for his cigarettes when he remembered suddenly why he didn’t frequent the diner that often. Smoke-free. He gave an annoyed huff before pocketing them again, looking back at his companion when the waiter left again, his muddy eyes already filled with the guilt he didn’t even had a reason yet to have.

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

“Yea I can see that…” he replied back, giving her neck bandage a point. What really upset him was the fact it was there at all. She and he both could attest that their injuries often healed at an accelerated rate, especially during the full moon phase of the month. It was often a blessing, but there was one small hiccup in the deal. Most wounds healed quick – except those inflicted by other wolves. He didn’t ever really get why. Maybe it was just a property in their genetical make up, but they always took longer. If she had just fallen downstairs she should have been healed up by now… He had to get his mind off of it. The thought alone was beginning to make his stomach churn. Joel waved her off when she brought up the money, “No, I’m pretty sure I gave you exactly what I meant to.” he said back, his tone a bit sharp, making it clear that there wasn’t room there for discussion. He was lying if the bit extra was now there for more than gratitude, but also sympathy. Especially if his worst fear was true. God – he hoped it had been someone like Kolton or that other alpha wolf pup. If it was them, it would fuel his need to retaliate with full force. Tea wasn’t apart of a pack obviously. If she was he would have smelt in. No – the possibility was still just as plausible. “Sounds perfect.” he confirmed, even if he actually didn’t care for breakfast food. He gave her one more assured nod before turning back to face the door, opening it again and waiting for her outside to get ready, doing everything in his power to not keep thinking about it. He ran his hands through his bed-raggled hair, but really that only made it worse. When she was at his side again, he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make it awkward. He kept his head forward and the painting tucked safely under his arm, walking briskly. Maybe it was best if he didn’t know and she didn’t say anything. That way if his worst suspicion were true he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences. It wasn’t the most manly way to handle anything – or more importantly it wasn’t his preferred way – but there was a great amount of insecurity when it came to his wolf form. He couldn’t control it, he couldn’t stop what happened. That lack of power alone made the man wilt under his own self-loathing. He wasn’t a praying man, but right then he was willing to go back to church every Sunday if it just wasn’t true. 

Shit happens... ‘The moon happens.’ was more like it. Once again he found himself thinking a very familiar phrase: ‘Fuck the moon.’ Joel didn’t respond when she tried to prove indecisive. Her first iteration at given her away to what she really wanted. Instead he continued to lead her down towards one of his favorite diners which had the best waffles and steaks this side of the Mississippi.  When she handed him the bag, he gave her a small nod of thanks, wrapping up the painting before tucking it back under his arm, just in time as they finally reached the place, it thankfully (or not so thankfully) being close to her location. “You ever been here? Abram’s Diner?” he questioned her as he opened the door, following her inside soon after and picking a booth in the corner of the joint, far away from everyone else. After the full moon, Joel tended to keep fifty feet between himself and civilians if he could help it. Survivor’s guilt was the best way to describe it, maybe. When the server arrived he ordered a plain, black coffee before giving Tea the reins to order what she wanted. The man stashed the painting beside him in the booth, trying to keep his eyes on her but it made him uneasy. There was no doubt that he could read that she was hesitating. Her own eyes continued to fidget like his own. Eventually he figured she would get the bravery to get to what she planned to, which only made his insides squirm. His eyes quickly turned to find the nearest exit just in case.

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

When she opened the door his light expression immediately dropped off the face of the earth. His mouth fell open, frowning terribly at her appearance. It could have been anything really. The girl did seem to be a little clutzy every now and then, but this was most definitely something a little more than a fall down the stairs. When she greeted him, he returned the sentiment with a small wave of his hand but he couldn’t stop looking her up and down. Sure, he didn’t look much better, but his was to be expected. She however was a wolf with a heritage. There was no doubt she could control herself just fine. ”Tired. How about yourself…?” The man moved into her home, his hands moving to cross against his chest, waiting for her and trying to find the right way to ask her about her injuries but his mind was for a moment completely distracted by her painting. A wide grin spread across his face at the sight of the two bears standing stoically in a snowy forest. It was stunning to say the least, “Wow Tea…this is fantastic work. Really. Worth every penny.” he praised her as he gently took it, running his hands across the brush work. “Really – I love it.” he grinned, hoping his daughter would feel the same way when he sent it to her. Placing it back down he pulled out his wallet, handing over much more than the original price, double the amount actually. “How about we head out for lunch? Been awhile since I’ve seen you last – maybe we can catch up? What you want?”

“Yea I can see that...” he replied back, giving her neck bandage a point. What really upset him was the fact it was there at all. She and he both could attest that their injuries often healed at an accelerated rate, especially during the full moon phase of the month. It was often a blessing, but there was one small hiccup in the deal. Most wounds healed quick -- except those inflicted by other wolves. He didn’t ever really get why. Maybe it was just a property in their genetical make up, but they always took longer. If she had just fallen downstairs she should have been healed up by now... He had to get his mind off of it. The thought alone was beginning to make his stomach churn. Joel waved her off when she brought up the money, “No, I’m pretty sure I gave you exactly what I meant to.” he said back, his tone a bit sharp, making it clear that there wasn’t room there for discussion. He was lying if the bit extra was now there for more than gratitude, but also sympathy. Especially if his worst fear was true. God -- he hoped it had been someone like Kolton or that other alpha wolf pup. If it was them, it would fuel his need to retaliate with full force. Tea wasn’t apart of a pack obviously. If she was he would have smelt in. No -- the possibility was still just as plausible. “Sounds perfect.” he confirmed, even if he actually didn’t care for breakfast food. He gave her one more assured nod before turning back to face the door, opening it again and waiting for her outside to get ready, doing everything in his power to not keep thinking about it. He ran his hands through his bed-raggled hair, but really that only made it worse. When she was at his side again, he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make it awkward. He kept his head forward and the painting tucked safely under his arm, walking briskly. Maybe it was best if he didn’t know and she didn’t say anything. That way if his worst suspicion were true he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences. It wasn’t the most manly way to handle anything -- or more importantly it wasn’t his preferred way -- but there was a great amount of insecurity when it came to his wolf form. He couldn’t control it, he couldn’t stop what happened. That lack of power alone made the man wilt under his own self-loathing. He wasn’t a praying man, but right then he was willing to go back to church every Sunday if it just wasn’t true. 

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

When she opened the door his light expression immediately dropped off the face of the earth. His mouth fell open, frowning terribly at her appearance. It could have been anything really. The girl did seem to be a little clutzy every now and then, but this was most definitely something a little more than a fall down the stairs. When she greeted him, he returned the sentiment with a small wave of his hand but he couldn’t stop looking her up and down. Sure, he didn’t look much better, but his was to be expected. She however was a wolf with a heritage. There was no doubt she could control herself just fine. ”Tired. How about yourself...?” The man moved into her home, his hands moving to cross against his chest, waiting for her and trying to find the right way to ask her about her injuries but his mind was for a moment completely distracted by her painting. A wide grin spread across his face at the sight of the two bears standing stoically in a snowy forest. It was stunning to say the least, “Wow Tea...this is fantastic work. Really. Worth every penny.” he praised her as he gently took it, running his hands across the brush work. “Really -- I love it.” he grinned, hoping his daughter would feel the same way when he sent it to her. Placing it back down he pulled out his wallet, handing over much more than the original price, double the amount actually. “How about we head out for lunch? Been awhile since I’ve seen you last -- maybe we can catch up? What you want?”

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

Who Are You // Joel & Teagan

Teagan’s first mistake was making a single noise. The moment she came into view, the wolf whirled his head around to face her, his teeth immediately baring at the other wolf as his massive paws covered his meal protectively. His hackles stood on end, making his entire form look much more massive than it truly was. He gave her a sniff, but it didn’t really matter to the animal. No what she was or who she was – right now, she was a threat. But she could also be something more…. After all cougar did get kind of chewy after awhile. Her second mistake was saying Joel’s name. The monster couldn’t honestly place why he hated the name so much, but he definitely associated it with hunter. Those kinds of people were always the first to die when he found them. The girl could have had a chance to get away if she had just strictly stayed a meal, but she had inadvertently made herself a target with the edition. Slowly rising to his feet, his golden eyes glared down at her, taking a step towards her before another, his paws embedding his position into the mud. The more time he waited to attack, the more his stomach began to pester him to how hungry he still was. Tail raised to full mast, the animal finally lunged at the poor girl, his teeth looking to latch on to her leg. After all, the wolf was still true to his vicious manner; every hunt was more fun with an added challenge.