MOVED.

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Warning: FLUFF. SEX. MAKING LOVE.

Summary: Possible-Post-CSAC? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Based off the @cheeziswin post where she talked about what Stan and Preston’s sexings would be like. Especially if the series should move down a poly path! I dedicate this to her as well, as I know she’s had it rough of lates and I LOOOOOOOOOOVE her.

Okay, so here’s the thing – Stan is a creature of answered whims.

When he has one, he just gives into it. Hungry? Eat. Tired? Sleep. Want to flick Ford’s ear while he’s trying to concentrate on homework? Do it. Stan’s never seen a need to restrain himself. When he wants to do something, he just does it. So when Ford scrambles out of bed at too-fucking-early-in-the-morning-‘o-clock and Stan finds he’s got wood, he thinks – okay, take care of it.

So, since tumblr refuses to unblock this blog, I’ve moved to a new tumblr! This one will NOT be deleted, but now has been titled ‘oldcellar’ and will no longer be updated!

To catch me on the flipside/new side - please follow me at @cellard0ors! That is where my Buzzfeed fics will continue as well as my wacky reblogs!

For @cheeziswin for her first anon flame (and the fact that I have gotten those now and again - including tonight, so why not?) and to celebrate how Stancest is fucking RAD.

“Well, guess this is it – You might as well roll this thing out inta pasture and shoot me.”

“Stanley,” Ford sighs and pushes up his glasses to rub at his eyes, but Stan’s undeterred, “I can’t believe this is how it’s gonna end – always hoped I’d die in some way worthy of me.”

“Stanley-”

“Like wrestlin’ a mountain lion.”

“Stanley…”

“Or savin’ some orphans from a bomb.”

“Stan…”

“Maybe defeatin’ some ninjas from world domination or something.”

“STAN!” Ford damn near shouts to cut his twin off, “You’re not dying. It’s just a wheelchair.”

Summary: Wherein a Ford meets a Stan

Rating: High Teens - sorta Mature

Warning: Mentions of character death, very wee bits of angst and sensuality - 500 Fords AU all thanks to @cirilee

Ford has had some interesting assignments before, but this one takes the cake and his response for Mentor!Ford is easily given, “No.”

“You don’t have a choice, my boy.”

“Don’t talk to me like that! We’re the same age,” Ford grouses, “I don’t care what your title is – I won’t have you talk down to me!”

“Don’t most other Fords talk down to you?” he asks and Ford scowls. He knows what the other Fords think of him – he’s heard the snickers behind his back. But he honestly doesn’t care – after all, several of them have sought his guidance more than once. It is – in fact – why he has more than one title. Very few Fords have more than one, but he’s been blessed with several.

Romantic!Ford, Love!Advice!Ford, and the one he most prefers – Matchmaker!Ford. It’s thanks to him that so many Fords have worked things out with their Stanleys. Or their Fiddlefords. Or their Bills! He’s the one who is responsible for making hundreds of Fords happy! He fixes their relationship problems, offers counseling, arranges successful dates and he’s even performed wedding ceremonies on occasion. But to ask this of him…

I am a terrible person. Get WRECKED.

Genre: ANGST

Summary: Ford has bad news.

Ford opens his eyes slowly and sees Stan in his arms. He smiles weakly and tugs him closer. 

Today? He asks himself. 

He’s asked himself this every morning since he came back. The first time he opened his eyes after coming through the portal, that first morning, he asked himself – Today? Is today the day?

Inspired by this lovely artwork by @lolisin

It’s less than a day before he comes for him.

Stan knew he would. Past the arguing, past the resentment, past the anger and old issues there’s one thing he and Ford can never seem to avoid and it’s this. The desire. The need. It’s been years, decades, it’s been far, far too long. The last thing Stan said to Ford was that he should stay away from the kids; that they’re the only family he has left. It was intended to provoke, to hurt, but honestly, he doesn’t know why he even bothered.

Thanks to all my followers for the birthday wishes! To celebrate, have some Stancest angst! <3

There’s the soft scrapping sound of his thumb on the flint as Stan fiddles with his lighter. It sputters out a few sparks before catching hold, flame bursting to life and he carefully tips it towards the wick of the tiny birthday candle. 

It ignites and he clicks the top of the zippo closed. He looks at the tiny dot of light. It flickers, weaving this way and that, wax slowly starting to soften beneath the heat, pooling into a dewy drop of liquid pink.

Pairing: Stan/Ford

Warnings:  Incest, size kink, sex, Ford’s stupid mind

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Ford relishes those moments when Stan just shuts his mind off.

Notes: Kind of drabblish. Thought of this recently. Really wanted to mention the beard I’ve seen Stan sporting in so many nice artworks. I also miss Old!Stans and wanted to do something with them post series.

It’s always weird to Ford when his mind shuts off.

When he becomes a bundle of nerves and feelings and just…melts. But it’s impossible not to, what in a situation like this.

The weather on the high seas was intolerable. Too much rocking and shifting and swaying of the boat for a good night’s sleep, so he found himself ending up with Stanley in a motel. 

Pairing: Stan/Ford

Warnings: Mentions of ~arousal~, language, pre-Stancest, one-sided attraction, Old Stans - OLD I TELL YOU, 

Rating: Mature

Summary: Ford has a decidedly unnatural reaction to Stanley

Notes: Summer of Stancest Week 1-2, July 1st – July 14th: Mykonos! Thought I’d miss it, didn’t ya??? Also, I’m doing something VERY experimental. I’m going to link ALL of the prompts into one cohesive storyline. So, y’know. Here’s the first part.

AO3 Link

“Stop it. I can literally feel you smirking.”

“I’m not,” Ford lies as he approaches a shirtless Stan who lies on his belly on his bunk. The Stan O’ War II barely lists, the sea beneath them calm.  The air is fragrant and warm, the evening settling over them like a cozy blanket and Ford debates clicking the interior lights on. Eventually he decides against it. He can see Stan well enough, so he draws up a chair near his bunk and holds up the green bottle, “Are you sure you want to use this? I have some lotions of my own concoction that-”

“No,” Stan stresses, “I ain’t having you use me like some guinea pig for whatever weirdo potions you cooked up like some goddamn wizard! Just…just put the aloe on there. Please.”

Thanks again for this prompt. I’m…actually kind of proud of this? It’s been a while since I’ve written straight up Stancest, much less old-men-at-sea! Stancest. Rating for this is mature (like, high PG-13, R?), considering language and sexual-ish things…

AO3 Link

“Ow.”

“Oww!”

“OWWWWWWWWW-”

“Oh, please!” Ford snaps, cutting off Stan’s cry of ‘pain’, “Don’t be an ass!”

“How am I being an ass for reacting to this shit?” Stan snaps incredulously as Ford rolls his eyes and continues bandaging his brother’s right forearm, “What did ya put on that cut? Acid?”

“It’s a healing tonic of my own concoction,” Ford explains, tactically ignoring Stan’s muttered ‘good lord’ as he continues, “And while I admit it does have some side effects, such as a mild sting, it is worth it to avoid infection and it will make your wound heal ten times faster! Now – if you can control yourself – I still have your face to administer to.”

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Ford and Stan investigate an anomaly…as well as Ford’s fashion choices.

Warning: This is just straight up porn. This story has absolutely no redeeming value.

Notes: I blame the Soos fan fiction for this. I also blame myself for not writing better. Let me apologize now to anyone who might read this - I’m sorry. So, so sorry.

Now this is exactly what the doctor order! This is what Stanley Pines always wanted. Sunshine, surf – just a nice relaxing day at the beach. Ever since Stan sailed off with Ford it’s been almost nothing but non-stop monster hunts. And, okay, he’ll admit – monster hunting is actually pretty fun, but it’s not exactly what he envisioned when he signed up for sailing off with his brother. 

This? This is what he signed up for and he sighs as he shifts on his plastic beach chair. His full bathing suit is a little hot, but not bad, what with the tropical breeze moving through now and again.

The air smells of sunscreen and salt and he’s hovering in that lovely place between awake and asleep when he hears someone crunching towards him. He frowns as a shadow falls over him, a deep voice growling, “Stanley! Stanley, you have to get up! There’s evil afoot!”

Rating: M for mature

Summary:  Ford keeps getting mysterious calls. Stancest Week Day 2: Adult Stans

Warnings: ANGST, madness, masturbation, incest 

AO3 Link

The phone rings and Ford picks it up absentmindedly, “Hello, this is Stanford Pines.”

There’s no answer. He waits for one and then hears a click. He puts the phone down and forgets about it.

Rating: PG-13 (if that)

Summary: Ford helps Stan with a nasty nickname,

Ford knocks on the door again, “Stanley, come on! What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing! Just…just beat it, will ya, Sixer?” is the answer he manages to hear, the restroom still closed off to him. His parents have long since left for work – his father downstairs in the store, his mother closed up in her private tarot reading room. Honestly, he and Stanley should have been long gone as well.

They’ve missed the bus and while they can trek to school, it will take a while. If they don’t hurry, they’ll miss the first bell and Ford can’t stand the thought.

NSFW - just, like, unadulterated porn. This isn’t even very long - it’s like, 5 pages - which to me is a travesty. I usually need to plot out my smut stories like Dipper does his over complicated lists. I thought about retooling this and making it fit my more exacting standards but then I just thought - screw it.

I wrote this for stan-o-wars and since tentacledog hinted the possibility of artwork in the future, well…how could I refuse?

Long story short - I apologize for this. For this tacky tentacle fic - seriously, so not my best work…

Pairing: Stan/Ford

Warnings:  Incest, language

Rating: Mature

Summary: Ford and Stan celebrate a victory

Notes: VERY drabblish. Been a while since I’ve written, so this might be garbage. Lord knows it’s indulgent Autumn/Fall/Halloween stuff. Also, I apologize for the title - which is a well known farming game - lol - but it fit dammit

The night air is cold, but Stan doesn’t really pay it much mind. How can he?

He’s resting in the bed of a pick up truck that’s overflowing with sweet smelling hay. the vehicle moseys along over gentle dips of grassy hill and dale and Stan snuggles closer to Ford, who smirks at the action.