Personal Shite

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7 kids

Spectre blinks.

She looks at her hands, beginning to raise fingers.

"Ai, Cassidy, T, Kim, Koba, Ivory..."

She looks back at you.

9!

A drone with two toned, white and black hair yanks me back into nothing and dissapears.

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7 kids

Spectre blinks.

She looks at her hands, beginning to raise fingers.

"Ai, Cassidy, T, Kim, Koba, Ivory..."

She looks back at you.

9!

The drivers of all states suck, of course, this is a given. HOWEVER. There are some very special places that stand out among these. In order of how in fear for my life I was.

3. Houston. Drivers in Texas in general treat speed limits as a lower limit for how fast you should be going and the drivers in Houston show no regard for life or limb.

2. Atlanta. The drivers of Atlanta do not fear death for themselves and would rather you both die than let you merge.

Fucking. New Jersey. If I never drive I-95 or the Turnpike again I will die happy. You've never known fear until you see someone neglect to use turn signals and Jersey Slide through 4 lanes of near bumper to bumper 80 MPH traffic and cut in front of you to make their exit as you slam the brakes on and miss rear ending them by about half an inch.

People can't FUCKING MERGE.

They will hug that stupid fucking lane line like it's keeping them alive, even as the lane is ending, and then force thier stupid ass in front of you when they run out of room.

Good question, also no that won’t help.

shitty MS Paint 3 minutes doodle, nto entirely accurate: When you have your pinky hooked on the “bottom” edge of the phone for the extra security so it doesn’t slide out of your hand that easily, you’re wreaking damage on your hand, since the pinky is extremely askew from it’s resting position. You might have noticed that when you hold your phone like that for long time it begins to hurt, like when you are gripping a pen too tightly for example.

This is chat gpt trash prompted to “sound Japanese” and it’s based off of racist old movie dialogue. There’s zero correlation here to Japanese grammar and how Japanese translates into English or how a native speaker of Japan uses English. It’s slop. It’s racist ai slop rehashing Western exceptionalism, fantasizing about a Japanese person being in awe of how great the USA is. It’s depressing that people fell for this. I know it feels good to think that other people like us, and sometimes they do, but this only works if you assume Japanese people have extremely limited experience and worldview. It’s mortifying.

Me feeling something lightly brush up against me thinking it's a spider or bug: Jump so hard and sudden I throw out my back, trip, and smack myself on the table on the way down- it was my dog wanting cuddles and touching my leg btw.

This didn't make sense to me then, and it doesn't make sense to me now. I was possessed by a compulsion for honesty that other adults reacted to as if it was unusual, but at home, you'd expect I was the antichrist.

And what got to me the most- the absolute worst part of it all- wasn't the assumption, the disrespect, or the thoughtlessness of it, but the steadfast resistance to the possibility that maybe, maybe they were wrong.

They always acted like they wanted the truth, too. "Just tell me the truth, and I won't be mad. I know you did it, I'm not angry you did it, I'm angry you're lying. I caught you, so why not be honest? I can tell you're lying. Nobody else could have done it. Nobody else could have taken it. So-and-so said they were there. I have evidence. Just tell the truth. This can all be over if you just tell the truth."

So I'd tell them the truth. Not what they wanted to hear, but what actually happened. And they'd just give me that same disappointed look and tell me they would give me one more chance, one more opportunity to make this easier on myself by confessing whatever terrible thing I didn't do.

And I despised that. That 'second chance to do the right thing'. They'd always offer it out like they were just being so generous and patient with me, like it was more than I deserved.

So perhaps I learned this lesson earlier than most, but it's served me pretty well, and from the first time I said it I knew it was vitally important:

"I told you the truth. It's the truth whether you believe it or not. Do whatever you're going to do, but it's not going to change."

Now obviously, this sucked, and it shouldn't have happened.

But it did, and it was formative, and now as I've grown and lived I find it has become a rather important part of myself and who I am as a person:

That at the end of the day, someone is always going to be wrong about me and what I choose and who I am, and that's not necessarily something I need to expend energy on.

She'd ask if I was doing something that I wasn't, and I'd tell them to truth, and then She'd sigh and get all pissy like "I know you're doing it."

And I would maintain. That I'm not.

No matter how hard she pushed, as a kid, I just stopped talking, never gave her the confession she wanted for some reason, and got my ass beat for it.

As a teen. I would just say "I'm not admitting to a crime I didn't commit." Over and over again to my lawyer mother until she was screaming and blue in the face and Dad would just sigh and drag her away to scream at him instead.

Then once, I laughed at her, like genuinely, because at a certain point your empathy for certain people has been exhausted and you stop caring (and I had moved out lol).

"You are so determined for your own daughter to be a horrible person. You know that would make you a horrible parent as well right? What kind of mom wants thier daughter pregnant at 18?"

I no longer lived with her. And I got her to stare at me blankly for a good minute before she quietly turned away, and never spoke about it again. Never heard a peep again about me lying or sleeping with boys at school. (Mom my desire is just a tick above asexual, I'm thinking about Pokémon and OC's, not sex...)

Walk before you run.