OkTwoMore023

I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much in my entire life.

Which feels crazy.

Because… if you KNOW me, you know…

But omg. I have been an absolute mess over a 4 year old boxer pup.

I’ll be back to myself eventually. I’m trying.

Soooo… here’s a thirst trap inspired by a photo someone asked me to recreate my own version of.. Bc your girl needs the dopamine.

Happy Friday!!

I want your knowledge of me and my body to be complete.

Then I won't have to tell you a thing. I can just lie back, and you'll know what to do.

I will do whatever you want, but more than anything it's about the things I want done to me.

I am thinking of the importance of fulfilling my needs, an issue which made all the difference in my life in my mid- to late twenties, when I was in an unsatisfying relationship. It didn't start that way. It was a period when I lived with a black man for two years, and it started out with tremendous sex that I realize now was partly the novelty of being with a man who would fuck hard and deep and had a lot of stamina. Outside our sex life, we also had a thriving social life, with his friends and their partners, who were also mainly black. But after a while, the sex became tedious - he thought my bisexuality was a joke, so I had to pursue that secretly, and he also thought that dominating me by fucking me hard and giving me explosive orgasms was all the imagination he needed. But I needed other things, specifically the kinky life that involved my deeper, more psychic submission, one that wasn't just physical.

But as I think about the men I encounter here, and how to offer myself for their exploration, how important it would be to take time, to make myself available - if only it could be done, to provide my naked body to be tested and teased and tasted so that you could ask "what about this" or so that you could simply see my reaction.

#ella

pearls & heels