Iâm struggling very hard to get rid of this pit I feel in my chest since being back in LA. And itâs not even been 24 hours. I already want to leave. I donât think this town is for me. Iâve already been in another accident... I think itâs a sign.Â
I feel like Iâm starting to understand my energy on a level that canât be described tangibly or with words. And with that understanding, I feel like my energy just isn't compatible with the energy of LA. Itâs like a mood, a feeling that as I walk through the city, Iâm constantly chafing up against competing energy that is rubbing me raw. Or stripping me away. Like my magnetic field is being bombarded by the solar wind of the Santa Ana, and the longer I stay here, the weaker my field gets. Except when I finally do break, I donât think it will be beautiful like an aurora. It would be more like a solar storm, radiation and EMPs raining down on whatâs left of the lives down below.Â
But where else would I go? Nowhere else really makes me think âhomeâ either. Expect maybe Norman... I was happiest there, I think. Thatâs what it feels like, anyway.Â
