OKC Fun & Disasters...but mostly disasters

They say you heal after a heartbreak. I don’t think that’s quite right. I think the reason why it hurts so much is because in order to actually heal, you need to break your heart completely, get rid of the pieces wrongly placed, hammer it all completely out of your system and then heal while growing a new one. But you need to break it after it is already broken. That’s why it hurts so much. That’s why it hurts to heal.

* Goes on date *

I wanted it to be you. Oh God, I wanted it to be you. But you didn’t want it to be me, and I just have to learn to be okay with that.

I never hated him. God, I tried, but I never did. I never could. I hated what he did to us. I hated that he fell out of love with me. I hated that he wouldn’t talk things through. I hated that he gave up. I hated so many things, but I’ve never hated him. I love him too much to hate him, no matter how much he hurts me.

there is no fate because I remember we used to wish at 11:11 everyday and I never told anyone that almost every wish was about us staying together but one day we split up, I tried wishing on a shooting star in hopes of the external world helping and it turns out nothing happened and that’s when I never wished on anything ever again because I believe everything happens for a reason and my own self controls my own life

i wake up in the morning hoping that maybe something’s happened while i was asleep, that maybe i’ve moved on, i’ve let go. i go to sleep at night knowing i’ve spent another day being stuck, missing you and being stubborn. i go to sleep hoping that tomorrow i will awake with a brand new consciousness. i go to sleep hoping i will never miss you this way again - never this hungry, never this desperate. i go to sleep afraid to dream.

maneuvers