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Here’s something that’s been in my drafts folder for a while. Based on some of the posts I’ve read recently, I think it might come in handy…PLEASE DO NOT COPY AND PASTE. READ CRITICALLY. Take bits and pieces, make it your own, or summarize it in some way as a come back for those messages, texts, or dinner dates.

Him: Hi. Thanks for reaching out to my earlier message. Your pics are beautiful. While I completely understand the importance of chemistry…but should we get to a point where this matters, I’m a little uncomfortable with having our relationship defined by allowances. As I said in my profile, I am quite generous, and understand the importance of ‘spoiling my partner’ but still, the set allowance would probably not work for me. I hope you understand my thoughts….

Me: Thank you for your thoughts. I understand that you are in search of an escape and so am I. My escape would involve a real connection and a refined lifestyle. I am a little uncomfortable with having a relationship that is only defined by sex… especially when the guy is attached and somewhat unavailable. I’m a beautiful young woman with no lack of suitors. I have a busy social life and I’m currently working to build a business/ pursuing my degree. I chose this kind of relationship in part because I have so little time for love. That’s not to say that my (romantic) time is not very valuable to me. It is. What I don’t value are shoes, handbags, and/or expensive dinners. These are things that I can purchase myself. Furthermore, these do nothing for me in the long run as much as say you investing in my company/ education would. I hope you understand that I’d need tangible showings… actions that illustrate I am valued… that my companion wants to put a smile on my face/ make me feel special/wants the best for me. AN ALLOWANCE WOULD DO THAT FOR ME. By the same token, I want my companion to feel comfortable telling me specifically how I could put a smile on his face/make HIM feel special/ valued. In any case, I am a rare catch and therefore am in no rush to find the man who “gets it” and me. Good luck on your search!

As you never know when you need a spare ace in your back pocket. Plus, instead of being rude and having them come back at you rudely, this may just be an opportunity to further see if you can come to a better arrangement?

1. I’m sorry but it is not a priority for me at this time.

2. My schedule is up in the air right now, I’ll need time to sort this out.

3. I would prefer if you could offer another option.

4. I don’t love your proposal, which means I’m not the right person for it.

5. I love your suggestion, but my intuition is telling me that I’m not the person to accept this.

6. I would love to say yes to everything, but I’m not comfortable compromising that much.

7. Thank you for the explanation of your requirements. There most definitely is a person who would accept this arrangement. Unfortunately, I am not the person.

8. My instincts tell me that I am not suitable for this arrangement.

9. I am seeking an arrangement that is equally balanced to please both parties, and what you have offered would leave my happiness less than desirable.

10. Thank you for your time, I’ve enjoyed our communication, however, I do not feel that it is in our best interests to accept this proposal.

Be nice even when they are rude, as you never know when they are testing you, and when it could come back to haunt you!

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