genie for your wish

”You don’t love me.”

It’s not the first time that he’s hearing that. Jongin has told him countless times, sometimes whispering, sometimes yelling, sometimes crying. It makes Sehun feel bad every time and he scrambles for explanations although Jongin should know.

Being a genie, it is in Sehun’s nature to help. Jongin is his priority, but Jongin can’t fully bind him. Sehun feels like he’s going crazy whenever he spends more than a month in a place. He needs to go out, always on the search of someone who might need his help, and more often than not, he disappears for days before returning home to his waiting boyfriend.

“But I do love you, Jongin,” Sehun whispers. This time, too, he cradles Jongin into his arms, rocking the other’s body side to side. It hurts him to hear Jongin’s accusing tone, it hurts him to see Jongin’s tears, and it hurts him to feel Jongin’s body slumping against his, losing all strength to keep his composure. He can tell that Jongin is exhausted, and it’s all his fault - because Sehun can’t make Jongin feel and understand that Jongin is always his number one priority, no matter how desperately he tries to prove it.

Jongin is, by far, the most important person in his life. It is hard to convince Jongin of that when he isn’t around 24/7, but he has hoped that Jongin would understand. And Jongin did reassure him back then that he understood. Born a genie, Sehun can’t help but disappear on his missions to validate his existence. If not for granting wishes and bring happiness to people who deserve it, Sehun wouldn’t be living now. He is a creature that has been formed for solely that reason.

And yet, Sehun has failed the one person that he should never disappoint - Jongin, his boyfriend, the love of his life. And with every time that Jongin accuses him of not loving him back, of cheating on him because Sehun is too friendly with others, Sehun feels more and more useless.

Sehun is a genie. He should be bringing happiness, but all that he can give Jongin is sorrow, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

“I’m sorry for failing you,” is what he whispers to Jongin that night, when his lover has fallen asleep right next to him. “I’m sorry for being the reason you’re hurt. I’m sorry for walking into your life and making you feel more miserable instead of making it better.”

He failed him horribly, and as much as Sehun tries to figure out how to solve this, he can’t come up with a solution that is not drastic.

***

“You’re such an idiot.”

Sehun can only smile at those words. It’s a bitter smile, because Soojung is right. Sehun has been an idiot, but he is not going to continue being an idiot for longer. He might be hurting, but at least Jongin isn’t anymore - not because of Sehun, that is.

Sehun returned to the genie realm that same night, begging the elders to nullify his bond with Jongin. They are divorced now, nothing binding them together, except for the feeling of love that Sehun still harbors in his heart. But Jongin shouldn’t be feeling that. If his genie magic is working properly - it should, even on an immortal being with his own set of supernatural powers - then Sehun is completely erased from Jongin’s heart. Jongin won’t have to feel sad about him anymore, and now it’s only Sehun nourishing his broken heart. One side hurting is better than having both suffering, right?

“I’m fine with this,” Sehun mumbles quietly, more to convince himself than Soojung. “At least I still get to be his guardian angel. I can still watch him from here and make sure that he’s doing okay.”

“But what if he’s not okay? You didn’t even ask him. You’re pulling the same stunt on him twice,” Soojung murmurs, her hand on Sehun’s shoulder squeezing tightly. “What if he still remembers? What if he asks you to come back?”

“I seriously don’t know,” Sehun replies quietly, although the answer is as clear as day. He would return to Jongin’s arms any time. Jongin just needs to call him and he would be back, because that’s all his existence has been reduced to.

NAME: Thanh BIRTHDAY: October 14 AGE: proud member of beagle line SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight (unless proven otherwise?)

YES/NO


DRINK?: No SMOKE?: No 
TEA OR COFFEE?: hot chocholate. BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE?: yes. 
AFRAID OF THE DARK?: depends on where i am. i’m afraid of the dark when i’m not at thome PICK AN ANIMAL: cats

FAVORITES


MUSIC: anything that sounds nice to me. i’ve rediscovered my love for v-pop tho unlikely that i will look more into that genre. PC GAME: / ACTRESS/ACTOR: / 
FOOD: vietnamese 
PERSON/PEOPLE: if it’s about real life people then it’s my younger sister, even though we fight a lot. if it’s about celebrity crushes, it’s oh sehun.

TYPE OF WEATHER: warm, sunny spring afternoons with a light breeze of wind. 
COLOUR: black, white, pink, pastel colors.

QUESTIONS


WHAT IS YOUR SPECIAL TALENT/SKILL AS A ROLEPLAYER? — i don’t think i have a special talent/skill when it comes to rp?


WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF ROLEPLAY GENRE, AND WHY? — AUs. non-au/general just feels awkward for me. i don’t want to pretend i know an idol’s personality in and out and pretend to be him/her.


WHY DID YOU PICK YOUR MUSE? — because i don’t feel like i can write anyone apart from sehun, so that is why i chose that face claim. i made him a genie bc i think it’s not a too common?


IF YOU COULD WRITE ANY OTHER MUSE - BUT KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE THE MUSE FOR HIM/HER - WHO WOULD IT BE? — i have no idea.

WHAT WOULD BE YOUR WARNING LABEL TO OTHER ROLEPLAYERS? — i’m a slow replier. i am on and off. i might disappear without much warnings for a certain period of time before reappearing and i’m terribly sorry for that. it’s just that sometimes i don’t feel the whole tumblr rp thing, and during those times it’s best to try contact me through different sns.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VERSE OF YOUR MUSE? — there aren’t many verses to choose from for me, are there? ;u;.

WHAT CRACK!SHIPS DO YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MUSE?   — i don’t have any crackships.

ONE RANDOM FACT YOU WISH WAS A FACT BUT IT ISN’T: — i am always energetic and full of optimism.

tagged by. @krisanthemvm​

He knows that to Jongin, birthdays have never been important. It's a thing they have in common as immortals. When time is endless, celebrating one's birthday seems superfluous as age is not as valued as it is for humans. Though, for Jongin there might be other reasons, too, such as the loathing he feels for himself, though Sehun hopes that part has been reduced. He really wishes that Jongin is happy, not because they are dating, but because Jongin deserves that. He's been a good friend and a good person, so Sehun wants to show just how much he appreciates Jongin's existence.

Maybe it's because they've been staying on earth for so long that Sehun is starting to adapt to their environment. He has become somewhat human - easy to excite for human traditions and culture - and thus celebrations and festivities are becoming a part of his life, too.

"Jonginnie," Sehun whispers early in the morning. "Jonginnie, I have a few things to do today, so I'll be back later, okay? I will probably not come visit you during lunch today." He's not sure if Jongin is awake and coherent enough to understand him, but Sehun pecks his lips as a quick goodbye nonetheless. He disappears after that, a note on the fridge telling Jongin they'll only see each other later at night.

Sehun wants to throw a birthday party, but since they both have a very small circle of friends, he thinks maybe it would be better to celebrate alone, just the two of them, together with their pups and Prince Baek. But to do that, he will have to prepare lots of good food, and he needs a birthday present, too. It's hard to find a present that is meaningful because anything Jongin wants, Sehun can conjure it up within the blink of an eye - anything materialistic that is. It's easy to get a present like that, but it's not meaningful because it's done effortlessly, meanwhile Sehun wants to put his heart and all in whatever he gives Jongin. That is why he's pushing a shopping cart in front of him, filling it with ingredients for cake and different meals he will prepare later today to spoil his boyfriend with what he hopes is the best food he's ever had in his life.

He takes his time with grocery shopping, so by the time he's home, Jongin is already at work. The pups greet him enthusiastically, and Sehun has a hard time bringing the groceries inside without tripping over the dogs and spilling all the bags' contents over the floor. He's only glad that Prince Baek isn't joining the other pets in ambushing him, a thing he is forever thankful for. Cats are better than dogs, he still thinks, but he has warmed up to Monggu and Jjangga by now, too, thinking of his babies.

He spends the whole morning baking cake and preparing as much as possible for dinner later so he would only have to do the cooking, not the cutting and washing ingredients anymore. The cake's still cooling down, so Sehun puts it up somewhere out of reach for the dogs before he leaves to go buy a present. Cake and dinner are part of the present, but if he leaves it just by that, Sehun feels like it's not enough. There ought to be something he could get for Jongin, something small, maybe, but something meaningful that Jongin could look at sometimes and smile because it reminds him of Sehun. Something that makes the feeling of missing his other half a bit less bad when Sehun is not at home.

He spends hours walking around the shopping districts, and yet Sehun can't find something suitable. There's nothing that seems to be meaningful enough to gift Jongin, and he almost loses hope - it's about time for him to head home and start cooking - but then he catches sight of something he's never seen before. It looks pretty, so he enters the little shop, so small he almost hadn't noticed, to get a closer look of the thing. It turns out to be a dreamcatcher, and although the feathers decorating it being a soft, almost whitish pink, he still thinks it's pretty. Jongin will like it, he thinks, when the vendor explains to him the purpose of dreamcatchers. He knows Jongin has nightmares at times, so wouldn't this be a perfect present?

When he's home, there's not much time left. Sehun decorates the cake while the food is cooking on the stove, the present already wrapped in blue wrapping paper with a pretty white bow. And when he turns off the stove, that's when he hears the pups barking excitedly, signalling Jongin's home.

Smiling, Sehun goes to greet his boyfriend by the door, pressing a peck on Jongin's cheek to say hi. "Dinner's almost ready," he whispers. "Go put away your bag, I'll be waiting in the kitchen he says," hopping off in the direction of the kitchen where he sets the table as quick as possible, before he sits down, beamng as he awaits Jongin's entrance and his reaction to what looks like a 5 course dinner with birthday cake on top, his hands holding the present.

If your muse was asked, how would he or she say their New Year’s Eve was?

New Year's Eve doesn't feel much different from any other day, except for the fireworks at midnight and people being somehow more cheerful, more motivated because a new year is going to start soon, a new chance to make it the best year of their lives.

For Sehun it's simply interesting to see the changes in spirits around him and he tries to understand but it's difficult. He's not mortal like humans so he doesn't value time as much. He doesn't really pay attention to time units, so to him it does not matter if a new year's starting or not - he doesn't age and he's not closer to the end of his life. And it's the same with the people most important to him. But if he had a mortal friend, a human friend, would things be different to him then?

What is the biggest goal your muse has set for 2016? Are there any developments that you, the typist, have planned for your muse?

Sehun doesn't have any goals, unless you would call continuing to live the same way he's done before a real goal.

As for me, the mun, I haven't really planned any developments for Sehun as of yet, I just want to continue roleplaying, hopefully more actively than the last year, and maybe find some friends for Sehun.

What relationships has your muse gained and lost going in to the new year? How has it — or will it — affect him/her?

“Oh…no.” Anthem brings his hands forward and wiggles them about, all the while shaking his head.  “I’ve not got the gift of song in my soul.  That was something gifted only to my mother and possibly the youngest girl in my family.  It’s something yet to be seen.  I’m more like a donkey being strangled.  So I’ll simply sit back and enjoy others with such a gift. I am more inclined to play an instrument.  So unless you have need for a flute player, again, I have to say that such a task is not one for me.”

Truthfully, Anthem can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it, so yes, he’ll just watch and observe others.  And the fact that this young man is going around door to door to sing to others makes the prince of Huangshan smile.  

“Are you cold or anything?  Would you care to take a break and come upstairs to my apartment and get some tea in you?  Or maybe some hot cocoa?  I’ve got both.”  

Maybe Anthem can use this opportunity to build a better friendship.

The image of a strangled donkey trying to sing pops up in his mind, and although he does not doubt that the man in front of him might not be a great singer because he said so, he thinks the other is probably exaggerating. There is no person who truthfully cannot sing. It just takes a bit of confidence and lots of practice to sing decently. At least that's what people told him when he refused to sing at first as well. But then again, one cannot force another person to sing, and if Anthem offers to play the flute instead, that would be just as great.

"I'll take you up on that offer then," he replies with a grin. "Next time I'll have Jongin sing with me while you play the flute. You can bring friends, too. It's a bit odd to do this all on my own whereas other people go in groups."

It might not be very polite to do so, but as his curiosity awakens, Sehun peeks over the other man's shoulder into the house, wondering if he should really come inside. It's only a short inner debate, because as soon as cocoa is mentioned, his eyes light up like a child unpacking its presents.

Although Sehun doesn't measure time the same way mortals do, the longer he's been living in the human world, the more he has adjusted to the time there. Weekdays, months and years, he differentiates them, too, and just like any other people, he gets into the festive mood as well, celebrating holidays that aren't tradition for genies. In fact, back at home, Sehun doesn't have any days he celebrates, although he has heard of the ones in the human world, finding it fascinating how there are so many different ones in each and every region of the world, though some are the same and celebrated all over the world.

It's New Year's Eve. Sehun is sitting next to Jongin right now, both of them cuddled together under a blanket on the couch with the pups sleeping peacefully at their feet. There are snacks and sweets on the table and the TV is running, showing some music show that is counting down the hours to midnight, to the new year. Sehun leans into his boyfriend, head resting on the other's shoulder as he looks back on everything that has happened this year, starting with the moment he returned to the human world.

After two years spent at home in the genie realm, Sehun came back to find his relationship with Jongin has changed profoundly. He had left the other at night, right after Jongin had confessed his feelings for him, and there was nothing he had regretted more than not leaving a note or some other kind of message. Jongin had been so upset when he was back and with the confession, Sehun's two year long absence and his re-emergence, something between them seemed to be amiss. They had been best friends before that, trusting each other with the knowledge of their non-human identities, and when Sehun came back, it had seemed like their bond was broken, shattered. They both danced around each other, promising to stay the same, to be the same best friends as before because that was what they both had wanted - it just didn't seem possible anymore.

But over the course of two years, Jongin seemed to have matured. He grew stronger, more decisive and braver and if it weren't for Jongin asking him out on a date to give it a try - because Sehun had been scared and too careful around Jongin, reducing the skinship and overall interaction that might give Jongin false hope while Sehun was still unsure - their friendship might have gone down the drain already. But now, instead, they are dating, happily dating.

It were only a few dates at first, starting in late autumn when it was getting colder, and with every date that followed Sehun grew more and more comfortable around Jongin again. They had talked a lot, too, about this and that, but most importantly, they talked about their thoughts and feelings, two things that had been a rare topic for best friends Sehun and Jongin but was now subject of almost every conversation. Jongin would ask how Sehun was feeling and Sehun would respond honestly and vice versa. So when before, their friendship consisted only of fun times going out together, what was binding them now - next to the irreversible genie bond Sehun had consented to - was also a deeper understanding of the other as they were finally communicating properly with no truth to be left out.

Sehun smiles when he remembers tidbits of their conversations or his favorite moments with Jongin, like that one day they spent in Everland with Jongin being terrified of the T Express, or when they spent a weekend camping just a bit outside of Seoul, kissing under the stars. It's those sweet moments he savors the most and as he thinks about it, his heart grows even fonder of Jongin, swelling more and more because the love he feels for the other needs space. It seems like his heart is too small for the amount of love he has for Jongin because it's hurting, the pain a bittersweet kind of pain that he doesn't really want to get rid of because it's part of being in love and part of dating Jongin.

"One more minute to midnight," the MC announces on the television. Sehun only notices because Jongin is shifting next to him. He looks up to meet eyes with Jongin, deep, dark irises that seem to swallow Sehun's gaze right now.

"One more minute," Sehun repeats quietly, the smile on his face mirroring Jongin's.

♫ Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. ♫

His hands stilled, pausing in the dishwashing he was doing as more Christmas music began to filter up into his ears. Last year, almost no one even bothered to see if the young man even knew what Christmas was and now? Now it seemed like his home might be a stop for carolers as they went about their merry little ways. Not that he truly minded. He just wish they’d, you know, give him a heads up so he wasn’t in the middle of something like - oh, scrubbing a scorch mark from a plate that he left in the microwave too long.

Unlike the previous night when Luhan had made his way up the stairs, this songster seemed to have paused at the bottom of the building, just outside the front door of the actual shop. No big deal. Anthem wiped his hands off and hustled himself down the steps and turned the corner quickly to greet the person singing.

“Oh!” He stopped short, bowing with a smile. The young man before him was someone he’d seen around from time to time, but the two weren’t very well acquainted. Maybe this was an opportunity in disguise. Maybe Anthem could make a new friend. “Hello there. Thank you for singing me songs, even if I’m not used to the holiday, I appreciate it!”

It's not like Sehun actually wants to do this, but he figures it's the festive time of the year and with other people following these kinds of traditions, it doesn't hurt to mingle with the crowd and go sing carols. There are a lot worse dares that Jongin could have come up with.

He's not exactly a good singer - he misses more tones than actually hitting them - but his enthusiasm makes up for the lack in talent and technique. Sehun is having fun, actually enjoying himself, even if it's just a tiny bit embarrassing to record all of this as proof because his boyfriend isn't there to watch; Jongin's working right now and Sehun is using that time to do the dare so he wouldn't have to later when Jongin is free; he wants to do boyfriendish things then, dinner and movies or just cuddling on the couch, something like that.

Jongin was almost screaming at him, hysteric and in tears, yet Sehun didn’t budge. The reaction was rather predictable, so Sehun was not too impressed, by now too familiar with his boyfriend being overly dramatic when it came to watching melodramatic movies with a not so happy ending. Sure, it was sad seeing the innocent man being sent to death sentence, but Sehun had seen the movie too many times (each time because Jongin insisted on watching this and no other movie) to be as affected as he had been the first time watching.