D'Hello♫

Everyone says to go with your intuition, go with your gut. What if it’s torn? Love is so complex

Why am I so frustrated right now idk & I don’t expect any of you to have the answer either. I’m just meh

I’m very worried for myself. I keep having these bad thoughts about how I’m worthless & that everyone’s lives wouldn’t change (maybe even be better) if I was gone. It sucks because I can’t turn it off & I’m hyper sensitive about specific topics so if I hear certain words, phrases, or if others give me a specific reaction my mind begins to spiral. I’ve barely gotten out of my bed & it’s Christmas Day. I love the Christmas season, so to be feeling so down & upset about every aspect in my life during this time it just continues that spiral & makes it move even faster. I’ve talked to my therapist a few times since we first met but I’m starting to think I might need to see psychiatrist & consider medication because this is just getting too much. I cry every morning when I wake up, a few times throughout the mid day, & almost every night before I go to sleep. I want it to stop so badly & feel like myself again. I want to feel like people actually want to spend time with me, because right now I feel like I just take up space & oxygen.