mccoy is staring at them, wide-eyed, wondering how he always gets himself into these messes.

that's not necessary! he says with an awkward, clearly strained laugh. i don't think i was too complimentary back to him either, it's - i assure you, i respect vulcans and your culture, mister spock and i just -

it is reasonable that you yourself may carry a low opinion of vulcans if the only vulcan you have met has treated humans with such disdain.

this is. hm. mccoy is out of his depth.

that's not what's happening here, i can assure you. perhaps if we get the captain he could better explain -

the vulcans look vaguely concerned. is our presence making you uncomfortable? we should have thought to include your captain, to ensure you did not feel -

SPOCK AND I ARE FRIENDS, mccoy shouts - shouts, unfortunately, loud enough for anyone in sickbay to hear through his thin office door.

we understand he is your commanding officer, but this - this human need to protect him when he has spoken of humans so dismissively -

IT'S HOW WE FLIRT, mccoy says, somehow even louder. JESUS CHRIST IT'S HOW WE FLIRT, WE'RE BOTH INTO IT, PLEASE GOD STOP MAKING ME TALK ABOUT IT, WE'RE FINE, EVERYTHING'S FINE I SWEAR

........., say the vulcans.

........., says the suddenly quiet sickbay behind mccoy's office door.

the door opens.

hi bones, kirk says with a wide, wide grin, a constipated-looking spock next to him. we were trying to find some lost vulcan delegates. did you all have a good talk?

mccoy, grimly, reminds himself that it is physically impossible to sink through the floor.

.....it was illuminating, the vulcan says. commander spock, did you have any input?

spock, making a fair attempt at hiding behind kirk, looks like he'd prefer to bolt.

the doctor is adept at understanding all facets of conversation, especially those unspoken, he says, studiously avoiding mccoy's eyes.

i see, the vulcan says. ....i expect to meet your father soon. do you have anything you would like me to pass on to him?

only, spock says, stone-faced, my regards.

oh, give him regards from doctor mccoy and i, as well, kirk chimes in, extremely helpfully.

i did not realize you were acquainted, the vulcan says.

doctor mccoy actually saved ambassador sarek's life, kirk smiles.

......i see. yes, a very illuminating conversation, the vulcan says. we are now ready to proceed with the tour.

'fraid i can't accompany you, i'm very busy, mccoy says, walking ALL of them out the door, spock included. have fun!

as soon as the door shuts, he sits down behind his desk and buries his face in his hands.

he only gets to sit there for about ten seconds, though, before chapel comes in. all she does is give him a wide, wide smile, and he groans. out!