Oh-Merthur

we dated once in college and i never got over you. now i’m a single parent because my ex didn’t want a kid, and holy fuck you’re my kid’s kindergarten teacher.

we dated once in college and right after we broke up, i found out i was pregnant. but we both moved but now you’re living down the hall from me and our kid in a very small apartment building.

we dated once in college and things ended pretty roughly after i cheated on you, and we don’t talk anymore but i just saw your new fiance(e) making out with someone at the bar i work at.

we dated once in college and now i’m your wedding planner.. how awkward.

we dated once in college and hold up, what do you mean you’re my new fiance(e)’s sibling?!

we dated once in college and we had this super secret spot that we always went to but neither of us have been back in forever. ( or so the other thinks ) and fuck, my fiance just left me at the alter so here i am in my dress/tux sitting at this damn spot and … what are you doing here?