Oh Cin

Siempre tengo un amigo o dos que me preguntan de ves en cuando.....Tienes novio? Y cuando le respondo que no sacan la voz de piedad. Porque?? Todos pensamos que estar solo es algo malo. Quererse a uno mismo es lo mejor que uno puede acer en la vida, Enves de estar buscando a alguien que lo complete deben de enfocarse a quererse uno mismo. 

“The process of making plans for something”. The world around us plans consistently. Everything we come across has had a plan or is in the process of planning. A building we encounter was once planned to host its ribbon cutting and promise patrons services. The bus rapidly making it to the next stop was planned to be there at a certain time. The corporate morning commute have a plan to get to the nearest coffee shop at exactly 8:50A just in time for their 9:00A  morning meeting. Careers, degrees, interviews, car pick up, food delivery, doctor appointments, grocery shopping,  and the list goes on and on. One can diagnose that planning has become second nature to humans. 

I could not help but question that when it comes to planning weddings, birthdays, vacations, day trips, game night, dates, or just meeting a friend for coffee we seem to not care about planning. Time becomes irrelevant, the need for confirmation is not needed and one may seem a control freak for attempting to plan. 

One may have a valid point about getting to work on time is  priority as that is where their main source of income comes from. However, being on time to your friends dinner party should also be a priority as the relationship you have with your friend is an income in the form of having someone to be there for you when you lose your job or having a support system. Both are equally important. 

Humans male or female have always been afraid of commitment. Weather its because of change or pressure. Are they afraid to commit to human interactions? Are they acting in rebellious ways when it comes to social events because they are forced to plan on a daily basis for survival? 

One a planner may never understand....

A mask, it can be worn as a disguise to hide the true contents behind it. Similar to the one Mr. Romantic wore. It’s been a while since someone sparked my interests in a romantic way. His mask included dinner dates, walks through the promenade, and chivalry at it’s best.

The 21st century failed to produce us with men that will bend down and tie a woman’s shoe or hold a jacket for a woman upon departing on a brisk evening. Mr. romantic did it, he wore the mask as if his life depended on it. The joy and happiness that the concealed man generated was to the moon.

Then she realized that Mr. romantic was only a mask..... 

Your always working, going home, watching Netflix, and sleeping. Then you suddenly realize what is wrong with that, and you decide you want to travel somewhere for a couple of days or weeks. You then start researching where you would like to go. Once you find a place, you then ask all of your friends to join you. Only to hear excuses such as “Oh, I don’t know what ill be doing then”, “I have to see how much money I have”, “Ill let you know”, “maybe”, “my boyfriend and I are planning something for next year”, etc.,. You finally get tired of all the excuses until you decide that nobody will make the choice for yourself to not go on vacation or travel to a destination that you have been wanting to go for a very long time. Therefore, you decide to travel solo. At first, you re think it “maybe I should wait until next year to find someone to go with”. Then you think “who exactly am I waiting for”. So you book that trip of your dreams and hope for the best. I just came back from Trinidad & Tobago an island I have been wanting to go to for a very long time. I can proudly say that I have survived as a solo traveler. By “survived” I don’t mean I was safe and nothing physically happend to me. I mean that most people are scared to be by themselves, to do things alone and be afraid of looking weird or stupid. The sole thinking of that is stupid. The main thing to do when traveling alone it to plan. Planning is one of my strengths and I was able to make an itinerary that did not let me have any down time. My itinerary consisted of touring around the city day and night. Sitting by the pool and reading a book, joining the fitness facilities as early as 6am following breakfast. You can take your pick, either go and run with the wind or let the wind pass you by while you wait for that “someone” to go see the world with you. 

I decided to take a temporary detox from Facebook this week and i have been without it longer than anticipated. I dont miss it, I feel like if I was to go on it now it would be exactly the same way I left it. People pretending to be happy, newly engaged couples, a breakup, someone traveling, someone pregnant and even the local news that I always try to avoid when watching television. I was always hesitant on completely deleting my Facebook. I felt like I would be missing out on everything that going on or I would not be able to speak to my long distance friends. I’ve realized that my biggest loss was scrolling down my Facebook page every morning right after waking up to see “whats new”. Meanwhile nothing was ever new, it was all the same. I realized that I can still keep in touch with long distance friends, via whats app or a phone call. 

I dont know if I will return back to Facebook anytime soon. However, I do feel more efficient, more alert and less stuck behind a telephone screen. I am accomplishing things that I love to do on my spare time and my procrastination level has decreased. I am pleased to say that the detox is working. 

Exactly what do you do when you loose what you have become to think the love of your life. The love that you feel is like no other before or after. When you realized that you have lost the one thing that awakens all of your senses, the one thing that enables you to see the beauty of every object and living thing. Exactly what do you do. Do you continue to feel the feeling even though you know you cant ever have that person in your life, because even the mere feeling of loving that one person helps you through the fact that, that person will never have feelings for you. Do you continue loving that person, and thinking about them each, and everyday even though they are with someone else, and not an inch close to your existence. 

The feeling that nobody will ever come close to the love of your life, their ways of thinking, smiling, habits, and goals cannot be duplicated. What do you do when you have never been given a chance to prove yourself worthy of the love of your life. To prove that you too can be theirs. Exactly what do you do when you feel trapped between wanting the love of your life to be happy with the person they have chosen, but also wish they had chosen you.

You act exactly like a sore loser.

It was a long time ago, I could barely recognize his face. His voice, his hands, and hair were diferrent. He was no longer that little boy I had my whole life planned with as a little girl. From leaving his horror life as a kid to planning our honeymoon. Everything was planned before he had to leave for reasons I did not know about. I was forced to continue on life without him. But.now I barely recognize his face, his hands and hair. What I do recognize is the feeling that I get everytime I am with him. That familiar sense of safety, love, and passion. 13 years later and he returns..

Life is full if surprises, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Why must there be bad ones? Why cant there only be good ones? Why is it that when thinking of decisions and actions we must first think of the negative things that will happen if we proceed with the idea though or action? Why cant our first instinct be to think positive? I know that the sad surprises are there to teach us lessons, similar to the concept of without any sympathy there would be no compassion..

What happends when all you want to do is escape?

From all of the dissapointments, concerns, loneliness, worries, and despair.

Seems like the perfect escape would be to run, to run away from all of it and start all over again. I say, take me away from this big city and my little life and give me a big life in a little city.

Everyone lately seem to be in their own little life. They tend to brag to the world in social medias about how wonderful their life is. But, really it is not what it seems. And what happens when their life really is nothing to brag about. Do they brag still?

A little town would be the perfect escape.

Certains disent, je prendrais une journee ensoleillee pour un jour de pluie.

Dis-je, plus la pluie, le plus l'espoir! 

La pluie lave tout de suite. C'es comme un debut nouvelle.

Cuando le pisotean el corozon que se ace? No ay mucho que acer. llorar? pensar? estar triste? Estar feliz por lo que tenia y agradecido que paso?

Que se ace? Estar solo es como una planta sin agua, como in fuego sin llamas, y como un alcoiriz sin color. 

La pregunta es porque? Porque es que mucho ser humanos le tienen miedo estar solo? Porque es que no podemos estar feliz mientras estamos solo? Porque necesitamos tanto de otra person para ser feliz? Cuando aveces las personas solo traen enganos, arepentimientos y tristesa. 

Esa pregunta se la dejo al de mas alla....

Pero que se ace cuando le pisotean el corazon? Todas la illusiones que tenia ese corazon ya no tiene ni esperanzas. Y tratando de regresar a lo que una vez tenias es impossible porque el otro corazon esta lleno de mentiras, desillusions y enganos. 

De que sirve un corazon sin no sabe amar? No sabe reconoser el otro corazon que palpita con todos los pasos del otro?

Que se ace?