THE SENSE OF unknown had always thrilled the Doctor in ways that no other adventure in the TARDIS could provide. Though there were plenty of unknowns in the universe, it was so rare now, at his age where anything and everything had ever happened to him. The knowledge of time and space. Feeling its tendrils course through your very veins, it was hard to NOT know everything.
Though now, as he held the nearly lifeless body of Rose Tyler, it was the combination cocktail of unknown and fear. Perhaps that was the reasoning behind this foolish and dangerous plan. Lets put her into the Chameleon Arch, that’s a bloody brilliant idea. Where in Rassilon’s name had he gotten it ? Surely no where in his massive Time Lord brain had he reasoned with the idea of putting his very much HUMAN counterpart into a machine specifically designed for Gallifreyan biology.
The Doctor’s thoughts were interrupted when the call came and he knew she was awake. London was dim this time of the year, winter had coated the city, the Thames frozen over and the world around them on the brink of revolutionary development.
Already had he been awake long enough to look over the raw data that the TARDIS seemed to have provided Rose for her imaginary world with him. It was all nonsense of course, least to him. But he was not one to argue with the ambitions of a man that obviously held quite tightly to the woman’s heart. Storm colored eyes looked up as she entered and even still, weeks later, he could remember.
The golden glow of TIME itself cascaded through not just his mind but her’s as well. But the pain did not come, as he had anticipated but fear for it - - like the last was still felt raw. He could still remember the way her long hair cascaded over his arm as he lifted her, carried her small frame through the long corridors of his beloved ship. The cloister bells ringing in warning of what was to come if he had not acted so quickly. It would seem that fear was not his alone to bare that day. Perhaps it was worst of all, the remembrance of her screams. How it echoed against the fine walls of books and metal, through his very bones. It was probably why he never slept more thank three hours a week.
❝ Thank you, Miss Noble. ❞ he said softly as she gave him the cup, holding it in hand he stared. Blinking awkwardly in not quite knowing how to act around her, his attention was brought back to the present when she spoke of the supposed work. Utter rubbish. ❝ I have sufficient information that would please the beasties at the society but this is a lot of information. I pray that you will give me a wee bit more time with this. ❞
It was the smile he used to wake to every morning, the smile he had grown accustomed to smiling only for him. Yet now here they stood with a thick wooden desk between them and everything in the universe in their way. While she plucked at the feeble information that was useless to a man such as he, he had spent the entire night continuing his scans of her body and ensuring this process would work. But for how long ? He wondered, how long would he be able to stay like this.
❝ If you want - - I can come with and drown them out for you, I assure you can I bore them to death with plenty of other things. Maybe then they can lay off you a bit. ❞
perhaps half the pain of what she was -- was the parts of her that were gone. stored away until she could sustain her knowledge, sustain her mind, sustain her sanity. she had forgotten him to save her life, funny how so often saving her life involved losing him in some way or shape. it had been weeks when they’d first arrived for the tardis to fully initialize the story that would pave the way for him into the home she now had. the ship protecting its creature - for she was no longer entirely human - as fiercely as a mother would with a child.
yet there were reminders, when she was ready there were reminders. the door -- a striking shade of particular blue. words marked in ink upon her wrist, that no matter how often she washed them away returned. bad wolf. a reminder, of who she had become for love, a reminder of what she would be again when she was ready. yet those reminders fell to blind eyes as she busied herself with what seemed a content life.
always lonely as she slipped into bed at night, always reaching when she woke in the morning. but that was a fact of her life regardless of memories or not. the best of her had died that day with john noble, the best of her had faded away. because what was left was different. what was left wasn’t whole. yet as she listened to the doctor she gave a small smile, nodding. ‘ of course i shouldn’t be rushing you. you know best after all. ‘ she brought her own tea cup to her lips to drink, an impatience she couldn’t understand filled her bones. what did she care if this pile of papers never made sense?
an intense melancholy seemed to sink upon her, but she hid it. laughing off his offer of chasing off the society, ‘ hardly, truth be told i think they’re just waiting for there to be nothing of sense in it all. then they can prove they were right and i was wrong all along. you see they believe in nothing impossible or wonderful, but i believe in my husband. and he is --... was.. both of those things. but knowing he is right isn’t enough, i’m still simply a mad woman with fits of nerves as far as they’re concerned. ‘ rising from the chair she brushed a hand across some invisible rumple of her skirt, glancing at him through half lidded eyes, a smile that somehow wasn’t entirely sincere on her lips.
there was an undeniable emptiness to her, as if somehow her mind strove to find the truth and end the hollow life she’d been living. as if discontent with the lies needed to protect her. but when she remembered, when she saw her world as she knew it -- would she be strong enough? or would the burning begin again... would the vortex take rose tyler and never give her back.
‘ --- well i better let you work in peace then. if there’s anything you need, i’ll be nearby i’m certain. ‘
