* spoilers

“four lifetimes.” 

     kono repeats the words like they’re not even a part of her. ( they’re not. ) how someone can even live four lifetimes still, still doesn’t make sense. even after everything. even after she’s known river as a kid. as a person in different bodies. 

   ( it’s like this: she tries not to think. ) 

   kono reaches out and pulls her in for a hug. 

“marriage. prison. not for me, for him.” 

   for awhile, she’d worn a wedding ring on a string around her neck. reminded herself, a lot, of malia. 

  ( how can someone live four lifetimes? ) 

“it’s okay. it’ll be okay.” 

 oh. hugs. she’s not had one of them in ages. she leans into it, wraps her arms around kono in return. buries her face into the other woman’s shoulder.  kono’s reassurances are there as always, but this time, she’s not sure who they’re for.

               ❝ i’m sorry. ❞ she says when kono tells her about the marriage.  she’s half-tempted to make a comment about how they both have poor-luck when it comes to relationships. but she doesn’t. instead, she pulls back to look at kono.

     really look at her. the woman who’d helped her so much in many of her lives. she wishes she could remember more than kono’s name. more than the fact she’d protected her from the woman that had ‘created’ her. the woman who called herself mother.

“hi. what do you know? where are you?” 

( an old adage, but necessary.   kono never knows. ) 

       what does she know? oh, that’s a question. it’s a question and  a half for someone who doesn’t remember most things. 

“ —          —-                  holy shit.” 

                                     ❝ errr---  don’t shoot? s’me, konomama ❞,

               ❝  come on, age is supposed t’make you wiser. can ye seriously not spot the obvious? cadence brooks. music ‘n water. who else do you know with a name like that, sweetie?  ❞

                     ❝  romanadvoratrelundar—-?   ❞

                 glad for his permission, river steps closer. they’ve done naught but quarrel since her regeneration and then....well, the whole thing of him remembering her and his previous face had been a tad awkward, but he looks as though he needs the comfort of something familiar as much as she does. wrapping her arms around his middle loosely, river rests her head over his hearts and closes her eyes to the steady thrumming.

                       ❝ what happened out there? ❞

             it’s not uncommon for her to see the doctor like this - she’d seen it many a time when he was older - but it is rare she sees this face actually cry.  she turns on her side, bringing him close to herself and pressing a kiss to the curls before burying her face into them. she doesn’t ask him what’s wrong - he’ll speak if he wants - only holds him, rubs soothing circles on his back.

              “I wasn’t sleeping.” — Liar. // @myriadisms LIKED

                        ❝ ----- took you long enough to do those roots.. ❞

         “No! — See, I mean you — It’s not just one of those faces.” He was gesturing with his hands, trying to make himself clear even though his words hardly said anything. It was not just her face. It was the way she moved. The expression in her eyes. It felt awfully familiar. Yet, her name didn’t ring a bell. Maybe she was really a stranger? It seemed to be impossible. He was so sure. But — who did he try to fool saying that it would have been the first time? 

                          “I’m the Doctor                             — you’re absolutely sure we haven’t met before, Miss Brooks? Or is it Mrs?”

  ❝ ---- are ye askin’? ❞   it’s an old answer to an older question ;  one she’d answered centuries ago. ( ARE YOU MARRIED, RIVER ? ----- are you asking ? ) she catches herself before she starts again - flirting with him would do neither of them any good - and shakes her head. she has to maintain the pretense that she doesn’t have a clue who he is.