YO BATTLE BIRD!

the smoke from a cigarette 100 feet away just hit me in the face #breakfast

“Wait, is it the same guys who have been there since noon? I’m down for that, they suck. Hold on, I’ll let you bean me with a rock.”

"Yeah, the guys who keep spawnkilling! They've got an angle on the station and it sucks. Let's send them back to the beach. You and me, dude."

“I’m many things- a badass, a stealer of fingers, yellow- but I keep to the sacred rules of pvp. After the pvp is over, I make no promises.”

"Hey, if you're for real, dude, that's pretty cool of you. No one respects 1v1s anymore." A pause. They're buffering. "Why don't we team after? There's some toxic roofcampers way East that need taking care of."

“The power of friendship only makes me stronger! Not to mention it’s way easier to stockpile weapons this way. It’s called STRATEGY, Lone Ranger!”

"You're seriously unpoggers, dude. I bet you're not even going to commit to a fair 1v1 and I'm about to get ambushed by like six full metals in a scrap heli."

“A BULLET IS A ROCK, BUT FINE. STIFLING MY CREATIVITY.”

"That's rich, coming from a clan bozo! What, can't cut it solo so you need your bros to hold your hand? I bet your compound looks dumb as fuck!"

“This isn’t how I’m going down! I will fight until the very last bullet, Whirl! To the very last arm!”

"I SAID ROCKS ONLY! Drop your gear and get naked, or I'm calling off the 1v1!"

“Yes, but here’s something you don’t know… I am NOT LEFTHANDED.”

"Wow, way to be ableist to a guy with one arm. Get bonked, noob. You've got the appendage advantage and you're still gonna wipe!"

"I don't cry over video games, but you're about to! GGEZ!"

"Is this video game accessible enough for me?"

"Absolutely! We can use a cyberspace proxy and I'll do callouts. We'll be unstoppable."

"Do you want me to track down their IP for you?" Said with the UTMOST sincerity. He knows how seriously Whirl takes gaming.

"Nahhh, that's loser behavior, Percy! C'mon! Why don't you log on and I'll bag you in? I've got an M2 in a hidden stash I can give you."

"Oh. Are you playing your video games again? Tell your friends I said hello."

"Yeah, I'm playing Rust! These clan freaks are satchel raiding me, hold on—" They lean back to their mic. "YEAH, THAT'S HIM! BITCH! YOU BETTER BE SCARED!"