What are your Port Leiry Crackships?
âOh my god Iâm so glad you asked.â
He turns around and yanks a dusty sheet off a bulletin board the size of a door. Red string everywhere. Images, blurry polaroids, annotated timelines. One post-it just says FANGS OUT, EMOTIONALLY in all caps.
âLetâs break down my latestâand by no means comprehensiveâlist of Port Leiry crackships.â
Julieta Yazdani Ă Malcolm Deveraux
âBlood-slick betrayal meets sadboy guilt spiral. Sheâs Lady Macbeth in a silk slip. Heâs a tragedy in slow motion. Together? Theyâre either going to kill each other or get married.
"Here's the scene I envision: She finds him outside Satin, smoking like the worldâs ending, and says, âYou smell like regret and cheap bourbon.â And Mal just goes, âAnd you smell like trouble Iâd crawl back into hell for.â She laughs. Actually laughs. Next scene? Her place. Velvet everything. Heâs holding a glass of blood like it might burn him and says, âYou ever get tired of playing god?â And she goes, âOnly when people beg for mercy.â They donât kiss. Not yet. But he lingers in the doorway when he leaves, and she doesnât stop him."
Ael Ruyter Ă Caitlin Siltshore
âTwo mythic nightmares in trench coats pretending to be people. They speak in loaded silences and threats that sound like affection. Do I think theyâve kissed? Emotionally, yes. Physically, not yet."
âHere's the scene I envision: Cait walks into the Heron Club like she owns the fucking night and drops a satchel full of ash on Aelâs table. Doesnât explain. Doesnât blink. Just says, âThey said it was a hex.' Ael, looking like war wearing perfume, says nothingâjust pours her something stronger than whiskey and waits. They sit like that. Two weapons cooling down. No questions. No comfort. Just shared silence. And then, finally, Cait mutters, âIf I ever go missing, burn my journals.â Ael replies, âIf you go missing, I burn the world.â"
Allie Fleur Ă Autumn Howell
"Sunshine bunny witch meets traumatized wolf girl. One brings tea and sparkles, the other hasnât slept since the full moon of 2021. Itâs grumpy/sunshine with bonus emotional damage. Allie would kiss Autumnâs bruises. Autumn would growl at anyone who looks at Allie too long. Itâs adorable and a little feral."
"Here's the scene I envision: Allie shows up at Autumnâs place with a hand-drawn map of her favorite wildflower spots, and Autumnâs like, âYou walked here?â and Allie just beams and says, âI wanted to see your face in the sun.â Like??? Girl??? Anyway. They go to the cliffs and Allie makes a flower crown while Autumn pretends she doesnât careâand then gently adjusts it so it doesnât fall off. No kiss here either. Just a moment where Allie rests her head on Autumnâs shoulder and Autumn lets her. No flinch. Just warmth.â
Damian Erikkson Ă Quin Servatius
âTrauma vampire meets centuries-old coward. One wants to die, the other wants to live forever but only if no one sees him do it. They absolutely do the whole âyou should hate meâ / âmaybe I doâ dance. Itâs got knifeplay energy and Iâm into it.â
âHere's the scene I envision: Damian catches Quin sneaking out of a Rearden handoff, cloak askew, hands shaking. Quin freezes, expecting a fight. Instead? Damian just says, âYouâre really bad at this whole eternal damnation thing.â Quin is STUNNED! Anyway. Later that night, they end up in a broken-down crypt, passing a flask back and forth like theyâre human again. Damianâs sitting in the moonlight, bare fangs and sad eyes, and Quin tells him, âYouâre not the monster you think you are.â And Damian just says, âDonât say that if youâre gonna leave.â"
Aoife OâSullivan Ă August Choi
âRegal vampire with trust issues meets lone wolf with self-hatred and a jawline that could cut glass. Theyâd make each other feel seen in that horrible, healing way. Aoife would gift August a book. August would sleep with it under their pillow. Romance.â
âHere's the scene I envision: Theyâre in this half-collapsed church, right? Glass everywhere, blood dried on their sleeves, and Aoifeâs like, âDonât follow me.â And August? August looks her in the eye and does it anyway. Itâs not even hot, itâs holy. Itâs two disasters finding sanctuary in each other."
Eleanor Monroe Ă Oh Ha-Jeong
âTwo women who absolutely know how to kill you and would only do it if they cared. They communicate entirely in eye contact and loaded silences. If they ever held hands, the earth would shudder.â
âHere's the scene I envision: Ha-Jeong finds Eleanor in the lab after hours, soaked in bloodânot her ownâand Eleanor just looks up and says, âIt was supposed to be clean.â And Ha-Jeong? Doesnât flinch. Just walks over, takes the scalpel out of Eleanorâs hand, and places it down gently. She whispers, âYouâre not a butcher, Monroe.â And Eleanor laughs, sharp and bitter. âArenât I?â The next line? âNot to me.â And then theyâre quiet. Just standing there in that horrible sterile room, close enough to feel each other breathe."
Arleen Bailey Ă Arte Ryan
âBorn-wolf purist with a badge and a spine of steel meets cursed alpha who still flinches at kindness. They would argue about protocol, then slow dance to Springsteen in a parking lot.â
âHere's the scene I envision: Arleen brings Arte a busted carburetor sheâs trying to diagnose, and theyâre both too stubborn to admit they need help. Arleen cracks a joke and Arte âjust shuts down. And then Arleen, stone-faced as ever, rolls closer and goes, âThat wasnât a dig. That was⌠me flirting, maybe.â Arteâs whole face cracks open. Arte hands over the fixed part without charging a dime. Also there's peanut butter involved, maybe."
Birdie Templeton Ă Blair Davenport
âTwo girls too damaged to believe in softness but too lonely to stop trying. One calls herself a monster. The other already knows she is. Theyâd fall in love in the middle of cleaning up a murder. Tender. Feral. Beautiful.â
 âHere's the scene I envision: Blair finds Birdie in a blood-slick bathroom, mid-panic. And Blairâcool, collected Blairâjust kneels. No magic, no fix. Just touches Birdieâs shoulder and says, âI donât care what you did. I care that youâre still here.â And Birdieâthis monster-slayer, trauma-guts girlâbreaks. Like actually sobs. And Blair holds her. No judgment. Just contact. Itâs the first time Birdieâs touched someone without bracing for pain in years. And I justâyeah. Five stars. Painful. Gorgeous.â
Olivia Rivera Ă Juniper Kessler
âOliviaâs a stray puppy in need of love. Juniperâs a half-dead forest witch trying not to be seen. Itâs all candlelight and âyouâre too good to be near meâ and one rain-soaked kiss that changes everything".
âHere's the scene I envision: Olivia stumbles into Brewed Awakening just after dawn, hoodie damp with rain, hands still shaking from a night she barely remembers. Juniper sees her. Doesnât ask questions. Just slides a steaming mug across the counterâchamomile, of courseâand says, âSit where the sun hits.â Olivia does. She curls into the smallest version of herself and says nothing. Fifteen minutes pass. Then the tears come, slow and silent. Juniper doesnât reach for her. Doesnât offer hollow comfort. Just quietly refills her cup and lights a nearby candle. Itâs not dramatic. Itâs just safe."
Avi Hassim Ă AJ Astor
âSmug bastard meets feral golden god. This is âletâs kiss or kill each otherâ with custom cocktails and power plays. Theyâd absolutely fuck on a desk during a some negotiation, idk what rich people and pack leaders do."
âHere's the scene I envision: AJâs throwing a party in some glass-walled penthouse, right? Gilded everything. Champagne fountain. Heâs bored to death. And then Avi walks in, no invite, just nerve, and AJ is amused, impressed. Cut to them on the balcony ten minutes laterâAvi smoking, AJ sipping something he definitely drugged himself with. Avi says, âYou donât actually want any of this, do you?â And AJ goes, âNo, but it wants me.â Then they kiss like itâs a dare, like neither of them believes in softness anymore, and for one second they both forget the masks. Iâm feral.â
Jasper steps back, out of breath. The board tilts dangerously.
âAnyway. Thatâs the current state of my brain. Would you like a yarn pin? Youâre in it now.â