Uhhhhhhh where am I again

Y. Your bf oh gosh towhoebo

Uh you okay big guy?

Yeah sorry!!!!!!!! Let’s uh fight her

Wait why are we fighting?

Because you gave Kuzco an immortality potion when you shouldn’t have

He literally asked for it?

Yeah well you should know as an immortal yourself that cursing another with it is bad so I’m gonna kill you actually

Alright then.. come here, fight me!

(They start to use magic and throw potions at each other. At one point, kronk, pain, and panic all step into the room, confused)

@official-kronk HÉY DUMB BITCH KIDNAP KUZCO

(He forced a potion into Kuzco’s mouth that drains his immortality)

(He smacks Kuzco with a hammer, knocking him out)

(He grabs Kuzco and runs from the scene in fear. He knows exactly where he’s going)

Kronk you fucking dumbass you’re supposed to kill him now! (She buffs and looks back at hades, who flares up immediately)

YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS! (He straight up catches her on fire and kills her)

*is dead*

(He runs up to Hades) hurry, we gotta go save Kuzco!!!! I saw where kronk went but we have to hurry!

(He throws the kid on his shoulder and starts sprinting after kronk, who went to Hercules) what’s going on here?

Herc, we have to do something, what do we do??

I don’t know.. we have to hide him! Uncle, come here, we need to hide Kuzco before it’s too late!

What are you talking about? I killed Yzma

No no uncle she was just a trap to distract you, it’s my dad - he wants to kill Kuzco, we have to hide him!

Huh

(He rose up and glared at kronk) can you do anything right? I told you to kill him not knock him out!

You’re behind this? But why?!! Ever since I’ve started seeing Kuzco I’ve literally not committed any crimes

What about killing Yzma?

Other than that

Well even if you hadn’t killed her, you’ve still committed a crime against nature by getting so close to this human!

What the fuck Zeus ??? You literally have a half human son?

*gasps* why would you say that in front of him you asshole

dad I literally already knew? You kinda left me to be raised by her?? Plus hades told me a while ago

No... NO! Hades do you see what happens when gods and humans mess around? We get demigods who need therapy!

DAD I NEED THERAPY BECAUSE YOU SUCK NOT BECAUSE IM A DEMIGOD

You’ve turned my own boy against me... you damn asshole! *he strikes Kuzco with lightning, killing him instantly. He leaves, angry*

This.. this can’t be real. I have to be dreaming.. *he’s crying his eyes out* no we have to save him somehow, we gotta!

Forget it, kid.. I’m being punished. Don’t you see? Falling in love with a human only brings heartbreak.. (he brushes his fingers over Kuzco’s face)

Wait.. I have an idea.. (He sees Kuzco’s soul in the river and jumps in, grabbing it. He returns and puts the soul into the body, watching hopefully)

(He sits up) hey what’s going on??? Am I naked? Why is everyone staring???

IT WORKED! (He hugged Kuzco tightly) I’m so relieved you’re alright..

(He cries and hugs Kuzco tightly as well, hopefully watching for a reaction, but none came. Not yet. Still, he cries happily)

What happened?? can someone please tell me??

My brother wasn’t happy with our relationship so he killed you.. but you’re back now, alright? You’re alright now..

So this means we are dating now right?

I don’t know.. I can’t let you get hurt like that again, and if Zeus already knows about you...

Then he’ll kill me anyways, so we might as well be together.. we’re pretty much bound together!

I don’t know... I don’t wanna take you away from your family.. if you still wanna be immortal to be with me, anyways..

Oh yeah that... well, maybe... maybe there’s still a way..

I believe I have one.. (he stepped forward and held out a little bottle) I have a youth potion, so Kuzco will get to grow old with his family, and then when they die out he can take this youth potion and the immortality potion..

Y. Your bf oh gosh towhoebo

Uh you okay big guy?

Yeah sorry!!!!!!!! Let’s uh fight her

Wait why are we fighting?

Because you gave Kuzco an immortality potion when you shouldn’t have

He literally asked for it?

Yeah well you should know as an immortal yourself that cursing another with it is bad so I’m gonna kill you actually

Alright then.. come here, fight me!

(They start to use magic and throw potions at each other. At one point, kronk, pain, and panic all step into the room, confused)

@official-kronk HÉY DUMB BITCH KIDNAP KUZCO

(He forced a potion into Kuzco’s mouth that drains his immortality)

(He smacks Kuzco with a hammer, knocking him out)

(He grabs Kuzco and runs from the scene in fear. He knows exactly where he’s going)

Kronk you fucking dumbass you’re supposed to kill him now! (She buffs and looks back at hades, who flares up immediately)

YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS! (He straight up catches her on fire and kills her)

*is dead*

(He runs up to Hades) hurry, we gotta go save Kuzco!!!! I saw where kronk went but we have to hurry!

(He throws the kid on his shoulder and starts sprinting after kronk, who went to Hercules) what’s going on here?

Herc, we have to do something, what do we do??

Y. Your bf oh gosh towhoebo

Uh you okay big guy?

Yeah sorry!!!!!!!! Let’s uh fight her

Wait why are we fighting?

Because you gave Kuzco an immortality potion when you shouldn’t have

He literally asked for it?

Yeah well you should know as an immortal yourself that cursing another with it is bad so I’m gonna kill you actually

Alright then.. come here, fight me!

(They start to use magic and throw potions at each other. At one point, kronk, pain, and panic all step into the room, confused)

@official-kronk HÉY DUMB BITCH KIDNAP KUZCO

(He forced a potion into Kuzco’s mouth that drains his immortality)

(He smacks Kuzco with a hammer, knocking him out)

(He grabs Kuzco and runs from the scene in fear. He knows exactly where he’s going)

I wanna marry a hot guy if youre a hot guy hmu

Ah, sorry was just passing through.. Miss do you have directions to the camping grounds here..?

[lAwYeR vOiCe] MoThErS aNd FuCkErS oF tHe JuRy-

I am a mother of the jury

gOoD tO kNoW. pLeAsE dIrEcT tHiNe AtTeNtIoN tO tHiS sLiDeShOw. *there’s only one slide. it reads’ lMaO yOu’Re AlL gUiLtY. dO nOt StOp, Do NoT pAsS gO, dO nOt cOlLeCt ThReE hUnDrEd DoLlArS.’*

I require assistance

What do you need help with?

It would appear that something or someone had tampered with me, as my arms are currently not working

Your arms aren’t working? What do you mean by that?… 

The mechanisms in my arm are not working anymore, causing them to be unable to move

Oh jeez, well, I’m not exactly tech savvy but I’ll do my best to fix your arms. Let me have a look at them. 

Much apreciated, they simply stopped working while I was finishing up a thing I was making for May

Wait, question, how do you turn your arms off and on? Is there a switch or something under all this metal or? 

There is no switch, something inside must have malfunctioned

You mind if I pry your arm open with my sword? 

That is fine, just please be careful…

Don’t worry, it’s a legendary sword that was made, I don’t know, a thousand or so years ago? It can’t do any real damage if I’m careful. *She jams her sword into his arm, takes off a metal plate and tosses it aside.* Ok, there’s a whole bunch of junk in here, no wonder it’s not working… 

A lot of junk? Interesting… I wonder…

*She reaches into his arm and rips out a few wires* Look at this stuff! It’s like someone poured noodles into your arm! 

Oh no, oh no. That’s not good, not good at all. *she takes off her cape and wraps it around his arm* I don’t think I was supposed to take that out… 

You… destroyed the mechanisms… I require an experrinced mechanic now…

No, I can fix it, I only ripped out two, three, five…. *She quickly counts on her fingers* Eight noodles. I can fix it. 

They…. were…. wires…. energy levels…. falling

No, no, no, uh *She peels back the cape and crams the wires back in there, digs into her pocket for a spare dragonstone, and crams it into his arm.* C’mon, don’t fail me now. 

Shit, shit, shit! *She looks around in a panic, and tightens her fist.* Forgive me for this, but, *She gives him a straight punch to the head, in hopes of knocking him out.*

Oh, gods… I… *She gently taps his shoulder with her her foot* I killed him….. 

*everynow and then a mechanical whirl can be heard from him*

*She freaks out at the occasional sound, finally deciding to shake him* Come on, please! Wake up! Please….. 

*She backs away from him, reaching for her sword* I don’t like the sound of that… 

*She inches a bit closer, poking at his arm with her Yato* 

Look, I panicked, and it’s better than me turning into a- Oh gods, somebody needs to fix that… 

Dragon form? I remember you mentioning that before… it is indeed an energy source… it has too much energy for me to handle

…My bad, I thought you required a lot of energy, since you’re basically covered in all this cool tech gear. 

It is fine, you did not know… though I have a question, what are ‘noodles’

Ah, so it is a type of food, I recently learned about ‘cake’… back where I come from we only eat nutrition packets

That’s it, I’m getting you some beef udon. You can’t live eating some garbage “nutrition packets”. You need real food. 

It’s beef noodles, although, I think pork udon might be a better choice for you. And listen, those stupid nutrition packets will never compare to the taste of real food. It’ll never compete with the pork belly, scallions, rich broth, thick udon noodles, the kick of ginger, the mushroom, the soft-boiled egg and the naruto that makes Udon so great. 

The nutrition pacts where not made with taste in mind, they where made to be cheap and effective

Well, noodles are also cheap and effective, and while they were made, taste was is mind. 

Interesting, but why? That seems like a waste of recourses

A delicious waste of resources, now let’s stop yapping and get some for you. 

Alright, if you say so

*She starts walking towards their destination.* Don’t forget your arm! 

Are you sure you’re ready? I’m warning you now, it’s gonna be delicious. 

I am sure my systems can handle ‘delicious’

You sure about that? I doubt you had something delicious before, instead of those “nutrition packets”, even the name of it sounds bland. 

Alright, we’re here! *She raised her arms up towards a small shop* This is going to be so good, you won’t know what hit you. 

Interesting… wait something is going to hit me? Why would we go here then?

It’s an expression, it means that you don’t know that you’re in for a treat. *She heads inside, very much excited.* 

Now, *she heads over to the counter, once again clapping her hands together in excitement* beef or pork? Which one would you like? 

I don’t know… I don’t know what beef or pork is

You know what, heck, I’ll order both, pork for you, beef for me, but you can try mine to see which you like best. *She placed their order and sat down*. 

It is fine, I probably need to replace and check most of my mechanisms anyways… last time I did was about…. 40 years ago, if I remember correctly

40 years ago? How old are you? 

Lets see, so, I was about 14 when I went through conversion, and that was back in the year 34,000… so I am roughly 7,014 years old

7,014….. You don’t exactly look like it, and surprisingly enough, I think I might know someone near your age. 

Really? Who is this person, I would enjoy meeting them

Hey sorry to interrupt but I heard you need your arm back on? If you want I can attach it really quick

That would be most appreciated, as right now I have… well no arms

Yeah, that must be tough. Anyways, I won’t take long. Just enjoy your food and I’ll have this done in no time

Hmm, I’ll fix you right up! *waves his finger and your arms are no reattached, with one of them holding a free raisin cookie* how’s that feel, @the-official-techpreist ?

That was amazing, thank you very much… one question, whag is this object in my hand? I have never seen it before

Really now, @officialhades? I said I could handle this, and you got involved, and you used magic? You’re no good for my son. I don’t know what he sees in you. Why don’t you go back to hell?

Sir I literally cant do that ? The “hell” I came from doesn’t exist anymore. I lost everything in the second war

Yeah I bet you fought on Mario’s side, huh?

Uh no?

Ahh of course not. You’re too much of a furry capitalist after all

You heard me.

Dad, please….Stop this…

Kuzco I only want what’s best for you

Dad… he is what’s best for me. I love him so much… I wish you would just try and get to know him

Look Kuzco I love you. But I’m not sure I’ll ever approve of your boyfriend. I just don’t think he’s right for you..

i can paint a better boyfriend for Kuzco for the low fee of all your money if you want

That might be the perfect solution… here, take the deed to my house, my old wedding ring, all of my gold… anything for my son to have someone better

Alright, i’m gonna need a few specifications for this. what colors are their hair and eyes, what race are they, and what build should they have?

Oh, um, alright! Probably someone with dark hair and eyes, he’s always liked guys with longer hair.. and preferably an Incan or Peruvian man. Maybe a slightly muscular man, but not over the top. Someone who would be kind to him.

I am sorry, but I cannot allow this to happen, creating artificial life is a direct opposition to the Omnissiah’s will

Ugh fine,,, then do you at least know someone who can replace my boyfriends current boyfriend??? If I’m suddenly not allowed to make artificial life I at least want help finding him a suitor

He does have a ‘suitor’ already, does be not? Why do you not like this current boyfriend, he seems to make him happy.

I’ve sort of already painted the person, and i don’t have any thinner on me. So he’s gonna be sticking around.

You dare create artificial life? I should purge you where you stand, such things only lead to disaster

It’s not really life so much as a painting. a 3d, really realistic painting. a paint-person if you will.

But they act on their own yes? Such things only invite disaster, trust me

Fine, i’ll get rid of him. i need paint thinner though, which i don’t have.

I can just send some plasma bolts into the ‘paint person’ that should take care of them

plasma doesn’t erase paint.

But it destroys it

Yes, but paint thinner is less messy. it also doesn’t make me nearly lose control of the spirit inside my brush, since paint thinner is seen as the only ethical way to get rid of paint constructs.

Fine, go find your ‘paint thinner’

Ok. *he later comes back with a small jar of paint thinner, and pours it onto Kronk.*

ok i had no idea that Muse had that power as well, (muse is the thing possessing his paintbrush) and i guess you’re stuck here now. sorry.

Yeah uh your little paintbrush thing must be pretty magical. Anyways I guess I’ll go find somewhere to stay? I’m kinda lost, where am I?

I require assistance

What do you need help with?

It would appear that something or someone had tampered with me, as my arms are currently not working

Your arms aren’t working? What do you mean by that?… 

The mechanisms in my arm are not working anymore, causing them to be unable to move

Oh jeez, well, I’m not exactly tech savvy but I’ll do my best to fix your arms. Let me have a look at them. 

Much apreciated, they simply stopped working while I was finishing up a thing I was making for May

Wait, question, how do you turn your arms off and on? Is there a switch or something under all this metal or? 

There is no switch, something inside must have malfunctioned

You mind if I pry your arm open with my sword? 

That is fine, just please be careful…

Don’t worry, it’s a legendary sword that was made, I don’t know, a thousand or so years ago? It can’t do any real damage if I’m careful. *She jams her sword into his arm, takes off a metal plate and tosses it aside.* Ok, there’s a whole bunch of junk in here, no wonder it’s not working… 

A lot of junk? Interesting… I wonder…

*She reaches into his arm and rips out a few wires* Look at this stuff! It’s like someone poured noodles into your arm! 

Oh no, oh no. That’s not good, not good at all. *she takes off her cape and wraps it around his arm* I don’t think I was supposed to take that out… 

You… destroyed the mechanisms… I require an experrinced mechanic now…

No, I can fix it, I only ripped out two, three, five…. *She quickly counts on her fingers* Eight noodles. I can fix it. 

They…. were…. wires…. energy levels…. falling

No, no, no, uh *She peels back the cape and crams the wires back in there, digs into her pocket for a spare dragonstone, and crams it into his arm.* C’mon, don’t fail me now. 

Shit, shit, shit! *She looks around in a panic, and tightens her fist.* Forgive me for this, but, *She gives him a straight punch to the head, in hopes of knocking him out.*

Oh, gods… I… *She gently taps his shoulder with her her foot* I killed him….. 

*everynow and then a mechanical whirl can be heard from him*

*She freaks out at the occasional sound, finally deciding to shake him* Come on, please! Wake up! Please….. 

*She backs away from him, reaching for her sword* I don’t like the sound of that… 

*She inches a bit closer, poking at his arm with her Yato* 

Look, I panicked, and it’s better than me turning into a- Oh gods, somebody needs to fix that… 

Dragon form? I remember you mentioning that before… it is indeed an energy source… it has too much energy for me to handle

…My bad, I thought you required a lot of energy, since you’re basically covered in all this cool tech gear. 

It is fine, you did not know… though I have a question, what are ‘noodles’

Ah, so it is a type of food, I recently learned about ‘cake’… back where I come from we only eat nutrition packets

That’s it, I’m getting you some beef udon. You can’t live eating some garbage “nutrition packets”. You need real food. 

It’s beef noodles, although, I think pork udon might be a better choice for you. And listen, those stupid nutrition packets will never compare to the taste of real food. It’ll never compete with the pork belly, scallions, rich broth, thick udon noodles, the kick of ginger, the mushroom, the soft-boiled egg and the naruto that makes Udon so great. 

The nutrition pacts where not made with taste in mind, they where made to be cheap and effective

Well, noodles are also cheap and effective, and while they were made, taste was is mind. 

Interesting, but why? That seems like a waste of recourses

A delicious waste of resources, now let’s stop yapping and get some for you. 

Alright, if you say so

*She starts walking towards their destination.* Don’t forget your arm! 

Are you sure you’re ready? I’m warning you now, it’s gonna be delicious. 

I am sure my systems can handle ‘delicious’

You sure about that? I doubt you had something delicious before, instead of those “nutrition packets”, even the name of it sounds bland. 

Alright, we’re here! *She raised her arms up towards a small shop* This is going to be so good, you won’t know what hit you. 

Interesting… wait something is going to hit me? Why would we go here then?

It’s an expression, it means that you don’t know that you’re in for a treat. *She heads inside, very much excited.* 

Now, *she heads over to the counter, once again clapping her hands together in excitement* beef or pork? Which one would you like? 

I don’t know… I don’t know what beef or pork is

You know what, heck, I’ll order both, pork for you, beef for me, but you can try mine to see which you like best. *She placed their order and sat down*. 

It is fine, I probably need to replace and check most of my mechanisms anyways… last time I did was about…. 40 years ago, if I remember correctly

40 years ago? How old are you? 

Lets see, so, I was about 14 when I went through conversion, and that was back in the year 34,000… so I am roughly 7,014 years old

7,014….. You don’t exactly look like it, and surprisingly enough, I think I might know someone near your age. 

Really? Who is this person, I would enjoy meeting them

Hey sorry to interrupt but I heard you need your arm back on? If you want I can attach it really quick

That would be most appreciated, as right now I have… well no arms

Yeah, that must be tough. Anyways, I won’t take long. Just enjoy your food and I’ll have this done in no time

Hmm, I’ll fix you right up! *waves his finger and your arms are no reattached, with one of them holding a free raisin cookie* how’s that feel, @the-official-techpreist ?

That was amazing, thank you very much… one question, whag is this object in my hand? I have never seen it before

Really now, @officialhades? I said I could handle this, and you got involved, and you used magic? You’re no good for my son. I don’t know what he sees in you. Why don’t you go back to hell?

Sir I literally cant do that ? The “hell” I came from doesn’t exist anymore. I lost everything in the second war

Yeah I bet you fought on Mario’s side, huh?

Uh no?

Ahh of course not. You’re too much of a furry capitalist after all

You heard me.

Dad, please….Stop this…

Kuzco I only want what’s best for you

Dad… he is what’s best for me. I love him so much… I wish you would just try and get to know him

Look Kuzco I love you. But I’m not sure I’ll ever approve of your boyfriend. I just don’t think he’s right for you..

i can paint a better boyfriend for Kuzco for the low fee of all your money if you want

That might be the perfect solution… here, take the deed to my house, my old wedding ring, all of my gold… anything for my son to have someone better

Alright, i’m gonna need a few specifications for this. what colors are their hair and eyes, what race are they, and what build should they have?

Oh, um, alright! Probably someone with dark hair and eyes, he’s always liked guys with longer hair.. and preferably an Incan or Peruvian man. Maybe a slightly muscular man, but not over the top. Someone who would be kind to him.

I am sorry, but I cannot allow this to happen, creating artificial life is a direct opposition to the Omnissiah’s will

Ugh fine,,, then do you at least know someone who can replace my boyfriends current boyfriend??? If I’m suddenly not allowed to make artificial life I at least want help finding him a suitor

He does have a ‘suitor’ already, does be not? Why do you not like this current boyfriend, he seems to make him happy.

I’ve sort of already painted the person, and i don’t have any thinner on me. So he’s gonna be sticking around.

You dare create artificial life? I should purge you where you stand, such things only lead to disaster

It’s not really life so much as a painting. a 3d, really realistic painting. a paint-person if you will.

But they act on their own yes? Such things only invite disaster, trust me

Fine, i’ll get rid of him. i need paint thinner though, which i don’t have.

I can just send some plasma bolts into the ‘paint person’ that should take care of them

plasma doesn’t erase paint.

But it destroys it

Yes, but paint thinner is less messy. it also doesn’t make me nearly lose control of the spirit inside my brush, since paint thinner is seen as the only ethical way to get rid of paint constructs.

Fine, go find your ‘paint thinner’

Ok. *he later comes back with a small jar of paint thinner, and pours it onto Kronk.*

I require assistance

What do you need help with?

It would appear that something or someone had tampered with me, as my arms are currently not working

Your arms aren’t working? What do you mean by that?… 

The mechanisms in my arm are not working anymore, causing them to be unable to move

Oh jeez, well, I’m not exactly tech savvy but I’ll do my best to fix your arms. Let me have a look at them. 

Much apreciated, they simply stopped working while I was finishing up a thing I was making for May

Wait, question, how do you turn your arms off and on? Is there a switch or something under all this metal or? 

There is no switch, something inside must have malfunctioned

You mind if I pry your arm open with my sword? 

That is fine, just please be careful…

Don’t worry, it’s a legendary sword that was made, I don’t know, a thousand or so years ago? It can’t do any real damage if I’m careful. *She jams her sword into his arm, takes off a metal plate and tosses it aside.* Ok, there’s a whole bunch of junk in here, no wonder it’s not working… 

A lot of junk? Interesting… I wonder…

*She reaches into his arm and rips out a few wires* Look at this stuff! It’s like someone poured noodles into your arm! 

Oh no, oh no. That’s not good, not good at all. *she takes off her cape and wraps it around his arm* I don’t think I was supposed to take that out…