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@official-denial
main blog: @official-denial
original art blog: @nnalien
photography & aesthetic reblogs: @official-acceptance
fandom reblogs: @nalienated
scary blog: @nalienation

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"You need to relax"
Best I can do is dissociate
Iβm reading a book on biofeedback trainings right now and they talk about this. The words βtryβ or βneedβ add pressure to stuff. Sometimes switching from βI need to calm downβ or βIβm trying to slow my breathingβ to βIβm allowing myself to calm down a little more with each exhaleβ or βIβm giving myself permission to slow my breathingβ can be more helpful. Thereβs a difference between βtry to relax the muscleβ and βallow the muscle to softenβ that is significant enough that for some people it can totally change the outcome of a relaxation exercise.
For other tips and tricks, instead of asking βwhyβ you canβt change a thought/feeling (why being an offensive question, meaning it forces you to respond defensively - in this case defending the emotion you donβt like) you can ask βis there any leeway or wiggle room with this feeling/thought/belief for something else?β Oftentimes we know multiple things at once, and by allowing for a small amount of ambiguity we can start to accept the situation more fully.
GIRLS THAT'S FUCKING TERRIFYING,, PLEASE FACTORY RESET YOUR PHONES GET NEW ONES IF YOU HAVE TO GET AN INDEPENDENT SIM card WHAT IS HAPPENING
I'M BEGGING YOU
THEY CANT DO THIS TO YOU PLEASE
that is stalking
its stalking when it happens to children also btw
"My mum won't let me" Okay I am 30 goddamn years old and I still have this thought so let's walk through it together.
What's the worst that can happen if you do it anyway? Genuinely. The literal worst. Catastrophise about it with me for a sec.
Will your mum yell at you? You're an adult. Yelling at fellow adults is Not Okay Actually. (Yelling at kids is also not okay but let's take this one step at a time.) If your mum is yelling at you, a fellow adult, she's the one being weird and out of line. You asked your friend and they said so too (me. I'm the friend.)
Will she cut off your phone plan? That would be a problem. Can you look into whether you can afford to switch to a new plan she doesn't have access to? Most phone companies will let you port your number over pretty easily.
Will she cut you off financially? Run the numbers again. Can you afford for that to happen? If the answer is no, that's okay, I believe you and I know you're making the best decision for your own well-being that you can in the moment. If there's anything you can do to make it more affordable, I do suggest doing that, though.
Will she be physically violent, inclusive of breaking stuff that belongs to you? Thatβs assault. That's a crime. It's not okay for her to do that and she almost certainly knows it.
Will she stop talking to you? Honestly I gotta say at this point that's not sounding like a bad outcome. It sucks. It really really sucks and I'm sorry if that's a choice you're having to make, but take it from someone who's been there and done that: when someone who is being abusive to you (stalking is abuse! Yelling at you is abuse! Threatening to cut off your funds if you don't do what they want forever is abuse! Breaking your stuff or physically hurting you is abuse!) decides of their own volition to cut you off, it hurts for a hot minute, and then you suddenly realise that you can breathe, and it feels so. Goddamn. Amazing.
Delete the tracking application. Live where you want to live. Change your name. Join or leave the religion. Get the piercing or the tattoo or the surgery. Live your life, because it's yours and not your parents'.
We'll try together, okay?
If your mother is trying to convince you she NEEDS to have a tracker on you, she is not doing it for your safety, she is doing it for herself.
And it is NOT NECESSARY.
My mother is ALSO worried about me all the time because I live alone, and I'm almost 40. Our solution to that is just normal text check ins. I will let her know im home safe after work with a quick text. She doesn't know every time i go out, she doesn't ask to, but we always say good morning and good night, which is a normal ass way to check on someone.
That is literally all you should ever need if you live alone. Just make sure SOMEONE knows that you're alive and well who can do something if you're not. That someone doesn't have to be your parents if they can't respect your boundaries and right to privacy.
fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try
I woke up in the morning and everything was different
Upon hearing this, the student became enlightened.
I actually do think itβs better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes
I think itβs better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes.
I think itβs better for abusers and abusive characters to realize the harm their past actions caused and seek to do better than be literally or metaphorically executed for their crimes.
Reading comprehension test:
1. Does OP mention an obligation on victims to forgive abusers who have learned from their past actions?
2. Does OP mention any work on the part of victims to educate their abusers?
3. Is there any mention of βredemptionβ or βforgivenessβ at all in this post?
Something about how society cares more about punishing the wicked than about making the world a better place, and how many people really struggle to shake that.

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i feel so defensive and protective of people with ARFID like if i had a disorder that made my brain register 90% of food as poison for no reason and i had a bazillion people on the internet constantly calling me a manchild who needs to just grow up and stop being a picky eater i would start killing people
people with ARFID and people with very few autism safe foods and people with contamination OCD and people in ED recovery and everyone else with a complicated relationship with food that no one takes seriously GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!
every time someone treats Feeling Loveβ’ as Political Praxis i want to beam this whole Moses Sumney quote into their head
"You know what's harder than Getting Better? Living Like That" is just the thesis for my whole shit going on right now honestly. You know what's harder than doing my physical therapy? Hurting All The Time. You know what's harder than addressing my gender dysphoria? Hurting All The Time
I'm Doing The Hard Thing and it's *easier* than how I was living before. If you make yourself feel better you will have more energy to spend on Getting Better. Nice inch nails - the upward spiral. Crawl out of your grave Thursday
The corollary of needing to be willing to frame arguments in terms of moral precepts you don't necessarily share is needing to be aware of subtext. Yes, it's easy to get a certain stripe of hyper-conservative folks to agree with anything you please by framing it in terms of opposition to Big Government, but a large part of that is because when you say "Big Government", what they hear is "Jews". You didn't hack their brain with magic words, you just didn't realise what you were saying!
I don't remember what post exactly I said this in, but I remember I once saw someone doing this and had to be like "sometimes you think you're tricking the racist into agreeing with you when you're actually letting the racist trick you into agreeing with him"

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I donβt even mean this in a rude way but how can you wonder why you donβt have friends if you think things like texting someone βhiβ or double texting or not replying within a certain amount of hours is not normal like im sorry but why does talking to you involve learning an ancient code and seeing visions of the future in the rain
(trying to vent but has too big of a following to get into any genuinely vulnerable specifics) there is a sadness that overtakes me at times
wish everyone could perceive the Vague Concepts in my head because i just know you would looove my Vague Concepts. you would think im so smart if you saw the misty clouds of Vague Concepts floating around in my head. #MyVagueConcepts
there should be an emoji thatβs a person with their hands behind their back silently observing a situation

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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pop a smile. feel that high? that's what we call "friendship"
Oh also! Both for pride and because I want to post more of my original stuff here, here's a zine I made for my recent screenprinting class! :p It's called Masculine Women and it's about being masculine and a woman! Fun fact, also, when you unfold the real thing, there's a big poster on the back! It looks like this: