BURNED ALL MY LIFE

curiosity was peaked when the stranger was able to pick her out of the crowd without much delay –– certainly unusual for most that asha had swindled throughout her lifetime, usually capable of moving in and out without issue.  still, she doesn’t immediately shy away from her actions, the magic still wrapped around the credits even if they don’t withdraw completely.  “oh, did you now?”  she questioned, a single brow quirking at him, seeming to accent the darker lines on her face that gave away her heritage.  the truth of the matter did not particularly concern her either way, nor did it appear to persuade her pursuit.  “i’d like to think that i’m working rather hard for it right now.”

anakin held his credits in his pockets with a lazy use of the force, feeling her own power yearning to take it from his grasp completely. this was oddly entertaining to him.. why? he couldn’t say but for the first time since he’d woken up he felt a stirring of mischief and amusement mixing within him. there was something about the marking on her face that fascinated him just like the arkings on other species they emphasized the natural facial features in a way that drew the eye. “in a way I did. granted that way ---is the same way you’re attempting now. so maybe I didn’t really work for them at all.” he shifted his body to face hers easier even with the long distance between them as he raised an eyebrow. 

hope didn’t necessarily agree with his statement. she also wasn’t a fan of his attitude , but she didn’t see anything. at first. she shrugged her shoulders , fully intending on turning away and leaving the man behind. she was having a good night , and she didn’t necessarily want to ruin it by arguing with some rude stranger who barely left the cenotes. but then he asked her a question , and she heard the hum of a lightsaber. her eyes settled on the blue hue. she raised a brow , her hand going to her own hilt. 

“ excuse me ? “ she asked , pulling the hilt off her belt. the audacity of this man to talk to her like that. part of her wanted to lord her social status over him. but part of her wanted to engage him , prove to herself and everyone else that she was just as strong as her bloodline suggested she was. she ignited her own lightsaber , the purple hue lighting up the smirk on her face. “ bold of you to assume i want anything to do with you. you just so happen to have gotten in my way , “ she said, shrugging her shoulders in that typical solo fashion.

anakin laughed freely at her trying to shrug him off, he knew that purple sabers were rare but that just didn’t say all that much about the person behind the saber themself but rather it commented on the way the force bent around their will. “you heard me. I know you did.” his eyes flicked from the calm blue, well calm for anakin at least, to the sickly yellow that had become his default lately. “I have no idea why you’re here but to be frank, it might be best if you take the escape pod out of this shit party.” 

his saber hummed in the silence between them the echoing din of the voices involved with the party faded in the background to an almost distant sound as he immersed himself into the force deeply so as to prepare himself for whatever needed. “who are you anyway? why do you keep popping up everywhere?”

@ofdesertborn​

new beginning, same story. the streets of batuu looked like the streets of any other planet that asha had been to, as far as she was concerned –– but this was not quite the time that she had lived and died in. there were certain adjustments that needed to be made, things to acquire. light eyes scanned through the crowd, looking for an interesting target. she only ever needed a few credits to get started. building herself up from the ground was what she was good at. what was it to do it one more time? a shimmer of green glittered by the stranger’s pockets, her eyes intently focused on him, allowing the magic to wrap around the credit and begin to remove them from his pocket.

anakin breathed in deep the sights and smells of the market were always interesting here, so much more diverse than a place like tatooine but so much less chaotic than coruscant. there wasn’t much he liked here if he was honest but the thought of some of the food sometimes brought a small smile to the corneds of his lips. that same smile hid the anger and everything else for just a moment as he moved through the people. he had his last few credits in his pocket,  before he needed to take some more from someone, when he felt them move slightly. whipping around he scanned the crowd until he found those eyes. “you realize I worked hard for these credits right?” he lied through his damn teeth, he’d stolen them first.

“are you though? are you really?” condescension fell from his mouth as he looked her over with a raised brow.

“and what would happen if I did? who would even do anything considering we barely know each other anymore? if ever.”

❝ i don’t recall asking either, but i’m a doctor, so shut the fuck up and sit before it gets worse, ❞ kota retorted. ❝ unless you wanna lose another limb, i need to take care of this. you can sit here while i heal you. ❞ he couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. this was a serious injury, but kota just found it amusing that this powerful being was arguing with him over this. kota could sense who he was, the energy was fucking overwhelming, and yet this idiot -- you know what, honestly, this checks out. this is exactly how he expected anakin to behave.

“OR hear me out here,” he gestured in a way that showed his general disgruntlement of the whole situation, “--i can leave right the fuck now and perform a crash-and-bash to get supplies I need without your second rate so-called help.” he grimaced and stood up while shaking the other away. he’d gone against some possible bounty hunters “I don’t know who you are and frankly right now I’m not sure I care, I have things to do and this will only slow me down.”

“likely something even worse. cursed, warped, beastly, whatever you want to call it but here I am.”

❝ anakin, you know me! ❞ obi wan retorted, getting up when he did to follow. ❝ you know that if there was anything i could have done, i would have done it. in every avenue i had access to, i fought for you. i defended you and ahsoka at every turn i had available to me. but don’t forget the way master windu and master yoda ran that council – there was no room to even dare argue. and had i been able to help with your mother, you knew i would have. i was trapped on geonosis, there was no way of getting to you. anakin, there is so much i wanted to help with that i was barred from helping. i… stars, you were my family. you cannot truly believe that i didn’t care that whole time, could you?? ❞ he was horrified to think it was so.

those words, i’m gone, it brought something out of obi wan that he never thought he’d feel again. ❝ no- ❞ he spat, reaching out to grab anakin’s arm, ❝ you are not gone. you never were, you came back to the light at the end of your life, your son helped bring you back. i refuse to let you go, anakin, i will not fail you in this life. i refuse to let that happen, you are a good person. a good jedi, a good husband. you were never meant to be evil, you were lied to. you were manipulated and cast out by the council and it was fucking wrong. ❞

he took a deep breath, forcing himself to get back to center. ❝ anakin, i never gave up on you. even on mustafar, i was fighting to save you at every single step. and on the death star, i was fighting to save you. i was fighting to save your future, one where you and your family could prosper. i have dedicated my life to you, to your family. your grandson and granddaughter are two of the brightest people i know. they were manipulated by the dark side too, and i’ve been working to help them towards the light. your grandson is a true jedi, through and through. you and your legacy will not be written in blood, not if i have anything to do with it. ❞

his head whipped around to stare at obi-wan in the eyes hoping to warn the other to stay away from him, his own eyes gleaming with hate, pain, and so many other unnamed emotions. “thats the thing master. we don’t know each other. every single jedi hid so many things about themselves. myself included maybe even worse then most!” his shout echoed through the room and his breath came out in pants almost due to the bitter passion he was displaying. 

family. what a word full of things. he knew he’d lost so much family and all of them were his own fault. no he needed to stop thinking that way. it was that fucking darth sidious, he’d been plucked, groomed and primed from a young age into believing in a damned prophecy that for all he knew this time travel negated proving it was false all along. feeling the touch on his arm, the warmth, the strong grip almost brought him back to him knees. roughly he shoved the others hand off of his arm and stepped back yet again while lashing out in the force. the fact that HE was on the defensive drove his anger into a simmer. “do not touch me kenobi,” he snarled out, “and don’t presume to know padme and I’s history! I was an awful husband because I tried so hard to please you! to please the council!” 

The dark side? Alyrisa furrowed her brows, that would explain why the thunderstorm was darker and raging more than usual. She didn’t know how else to address him. so she sat in silence for a minute as she tried to work with what she was dealing with. “There are a couple  of places open at night. The cantina for one, I can get into the back door of one of the relic shops pretty easily. And if I ask a friend, I can get you into the local mechanics shop.” She said. As he spoke of himself, Alyrisa wanted to reach out more than she realistically should, so she looked around her for a rock.

“Then consider me your first forgiveness. The way I see it, you’re battling something you shouldn’t on your own. Carrying weight like that… it’s not good. So Anakin, lemme help in whatever little way I can,” she said as she slid him the coolest rock she could find.

the silence between them felt awakward and he could feel himself becoming more unsteady by the second with each moment of it. “the cantina. i went. someone accosted me there claiming all sorts of wild tales. wild even for well---” he cut off and gestured to his body and the cave around them momentarily forgetting he was sitting in the caves shadow and not in the brighter parts of the cenote. “relics... those may help me.” help him with what he didn’t elaborate and quickly shut up before looking away into the distance only to startle as she started to look around. 

confusion filled his shadowed features as he watched her grab a rock. what in the chaos was he supposed to dowith a damned rock? her words sunk deep inside him like a stone in a calm pond, the ripples spilling into one anotherthe once calm surface was nothing but ripples. could she even offer forgiveness to him? had he as anakin or this vader even done something to her directly? he watched her somewhat speechless that had been one of the strangest things he’d ever seen and heard. “that weight was earned through blood, fire, and manipulation on every level. never doubt that I deserve it and more.” his temper became evident in his voice as he picked the rock up with the force turning it faster and faster in the air while compressing on it till it exploded. the manifestation of his life he couldn’t help but think to himself.

hope could feel the anger within him. she knew from the brief meeting on the beach that he was powerful , strong in the force. her hand went idly to her hip where her saber was attached at her belt. she had a bad feeling about this. she kept a level head , though. she was used to this kind of confrontation. she was thankful that she was wearing her red pantsuit instead of the black dress she had thought about wearing. she let a smirk spread across her face , followed by a signature shrug. “ well it’s no corellia , but batuu’s not that bad, “ she quipped back. she actually was growing fond of the outer rim planet.  for the first time in her thirty years , she felt like she could put down roots. it was already starting with the house she shared with hux. that made her happy. she pushed those thoughts away and slammed her walls sky high. she didn’t know what to expect , or what was going to happen next , but she knew to be ready for anything. just because he didn’t seem armed at first glance didn’t mean he wasn’t concealing a weapon. 

- - - - - -

“its a dead end planet that offers nothing of substance...” he drily pointed out while gesturing with his free hand. his other stayed behind his side towards his back slightly, where his saber rested. the familiar feeling of the hilt resting in his flesh and blood palm felt like the force singing to him sometimes. this was one of those very times. it was soothing despite the fury running through his veins. “the kriff do you want with me? why do you always turn up so closely?” 

the saber ignited as lit the corridor up in its dark blue light. he still couldn’t bring himself to bind the kyber crystal into submission to bend the color to be that trademarked red. and yet there it was blue flickering through with red as if it were bleeding out. this one was confident almost cocky. who was she? he snarld at her as he struggled to focus his thoughts and he shifted in place while giving the saber a lazy, confident twirl. the one he’d been known for during the clone wars much to his displeasure and his fellow jedi knights teasing. he’d always been a cocky bastard but what set him apart was he had the power and the intelligence to back it up unlike many of the poor bastards he’d struck down. 

❝ anakin… please, ❞ obi wan murmured as gently as he could. he used the force to will a sense of calm over the both of them – it was likely in vain but he was trying everything he could. he really didn’t want to cry, but he could feel it coming. 

❝ please, please, i- i know this is frightening, but i need you to remain calm. i know it wasn’t you. i know it wasn’t, it was all palpatine’s fault. he hurt you, he hurt so many people. it isn’t fair. but anakin, i don’t blame you for any of it. i’m not upset with you, i absolve you from everything. everything. ❞ obviously obi wan knew there was some penance that had to be paid for what he had done, but… for maker’s sake, the pain this boy had gone through, the lies and manipulation, it more than covered the tab. 

tears burned in his eyes, so he squeezed them shut for a moment. ❝ if anyone needs to apologize, it’s me. i failed you, i… there was so much i should have done for you, i never realized how wrong everything was until it was too late. i should have talked to you about your relationship and shown my support, i should have been more available to you… the jedi council had me in chains, i was so wrapped up in trying to get things back on track that i neglected you. i’m sorry, anakin. i’m so, so sorry, i’m sorry for everything. ❞ the tears fell, and obi wan was clinging onto his expert self-control by a single thread. despite his better judgement, he looked up at the boy he knew so well. the third puzzle piece. ❝ i’m sorry. ❞

-

“anakin please” he mocked the others tone of voice cruely with his yellow eyes flashing in anger and the desire to see the other hurt as much as he did. the sense of calm overcoming him wasn’t his own brain calming down, no it was that kriff damned false sense of security the jedi loved to bathe the younglings in! throwing it off he threw his anger, his hurt, all of his emotions into the force at the other like it was a maelstorm of emotion. 

“it’s funny you know. you begging?” he got up and store away a few steps, looking at the others form from the corner of his eyes. his fury fueled his confidence and lent him a hand to prevent himself from collapsing into sobs over what COULD have been. “do you know what was truly frightening to me? watching my mother die and the whole council fucking brushing me off! you know what else was oh so scary yet you couldn’t do shit for? padme! multiple times! you preach about attachment and yet... you’re just as bad!” it seemed as though his temper had gotten even worse but what had Palpatine told him? to use that anger... 

hearing the other admit to his failings set something free inside of his chest, freeing up a small amount of the endless doubts he’d had as a padawan and later a knight. to know that he wasn’t the only failure between the two of them. and yet at the same time the feeling of victory also rang true. palpatine had been right, he had been right, and obiwan... finally admitted to failing. it was enough to had a rough sound escape --something that was between a laugh and a sob. the tears the other shed felt like canon fire as anakin struggled to brace himself against them. 

“too little too late obiwan. I’m gone and you know it or you should at least accept it. it seems you did before vader destroyed you for the first time. and yet here we are back again I’m sure to the same thing.” he just wanted to leave, to escape back to a time where he lay in padmes arms. a fantasy world where he wasn’t a jedi. where he never knew the touch of the force. what could his future have been if he’d stayed on naboo after accidentally blowing up the trade federation blockade. “i--i’m tired obi-wan but I can’t be finished. not until I know everything vader did. not until...” he let his voice cut off. he wouldn’t be done until he wrecked everything that sidious had ever created including himself.

Alyrisa poked the force again as she had her robe draped over her knees. There was that storm cloud again, raging around. She knew it well. Or, at least she liked to think she did. “Skywalker, trust me, if you’re going to be stuck here, it’s better that you know where everything is and be guided by someone of vague acquaintance.” She said with all her conviction. He was trying to push, and she understood… sort of. 

“The shadow is that of hiding, not forgiveness, and even if it was, it wouldn’t give it so easily. You have to work for that, with all that you have sometimes. And you must accept that forgiveness isn’t always given. So I say out with you, even if you fear what may come to pass.” She said with a set look on her face.

anakin felt a bit startled at the force intrusion and then grimaced as the other pointed out his name so easily. skywalker. ugh what a name meant for the abyss of chaos. maybe that had been why his mom had chosen it when the slavers had given her the only freedom she’d had at the time --choosing a name. “even a vague acquaintance would be lovely but lovelier still is the anonymity that night provides. are you sure the planet has things open at night?” what he wanted to say to ask was if she wanted to be associated with him further since his list of deeds was neverending as he learned more and more about this vader that he’d seemingly been. 

he let out a bitter laugh, “forgiveness is never given its earned but who says someone like me deserves it or kriff even wants it seeing as the darkside is something that taints everything it touches.” truly the idea of taking over in sidious’ place wasn’t as bad as it seemed when he’d first woken. he could free the people of the hutt space while also remaking this false republic and order into something maybe worthwhile. 

Ben glared back in protest, feeling his anger boiling inside him, which was only being increased by the casual attitude of the other. “No! That is just the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Supreme Leader is so much better. It’s in the name. Supreme!” This argument was most definitely not a priority or even one that needed to be had but was Kylo going to just drop it? Absolutely not.

Okay. Sure, the other man did make a good point but something just felt off about the situation. Still, Kylo wasn’t the one with the keen insight and his sister wasn’t around so he was just grasping at anything now. He couldn’t just stand there all day and protest everything that the other was saying without any basis for it. It was just going to be a constant back and forth. He didn’t feel comfortable escalating the situation either, reading the force on the other and sensing how strong he was. Kylo wasn’t entirely sure he could hold his own if it came to a fight. With a disgruntled huff, the man shook his head. “I don’t know why I am here wasting my time. I don’t want to hear your story. I could care less. If you cause any trouble for the First Order then you will be dealt with. I assume you will just be here in your strange cave so I don’t expect to have to worry about that.”

-

withholding another snort over the others temper spiking yet again. “being an emperor sounds stupid to you? well we could always fashion you after the hapes consortium and call you QUEEN MOTHER... would that work?” he leaned against the rock wall of the cave keeping the man firmly in eyesight while shifting into a more comfortable at the ready position. they looked trained but... unfinished somehow. 

“well now that sounds like something to do to get me out of my---” he looked around at the dark cave near him but the sparkling water in front, “lovely dwelling. and you say you’re the top of the line?” he certainly didn’t look to be on that damn dookus level but you know some beings could be surprisingly wiley when they really needed extra strength.