Any beauty I have the ability to take in isn’t enough, and gets destroyed before it has the potential to change the world for the better.

Every possible “job” out there isn’t for me. Any kind of lifestyle choice this world provides us all doesn’t sit well with me.

I’m just a misfit, totally incompatible with any way of living under this system. I’m so sick of doctors who stumble with their words because they can’t reach me with their cheery bullshit. If I were as stupid as everyone I know, I’m sure I’d be happy too. If I didn’t know what I know, if I dove into ignorance, if I stopped learning about reality and started packing my skull with religion, yes I’d be happy...but I’d also then become the exact kind of person I despise to see out there making things worse with their passivity and mindnumbing stupidity.

Came back because my suicidal convictions are stronger and stronger...