I'm Odysseus (100% Real Not Clickbait) @odysseusbigdick - Tumblr Blog

big-wooden-horse

How did Odysseus get the wood for this without the Trojans noticing?? I’m so confused…..

I asked the guy and he said that he’s “a man of many ways” which is both terrifying and unhelpful

odysseusbigdick

Wood 👍

#odysseus posting #replies

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big-wooden-horse

Hey, Odysseus, if you die can I marry your wife?

Passed the message on to the man himself and he threatened to rip my tongue out and feed it to the dogs so they may amuse his son with my foolish words… so I’m gonna say that’s a no

odysseusbigdick

It's a no :(

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big-wooden-horse

Odysseus winning a race because a goddess tripped his opponents is cheating.

Oh man wait until you hear what happened to big ajax…..

odysseusbigdick

I WON BY MY OWN MERIT

#odysseus posting #replies

big-wooden-horse

does anyone have any oil

I would ask why but I think we all know the answer

waxwingwhore

well do you have any

big-wooden-horse

No but I know for a fact that that whore diomedes does

odysseusbigdick

Diomedes does?

#odysseus posting #replies

odysseusbigdick

if you are a lair,,,, does that mean the username is a lie and,,,,, odysseus actually small penis?!?!?!

I am not a liar! My cock is huge. Just ask your mother.

waxwingwhore

you are known for lying??? your penis is small.

odysseusbigdick

My penis is literally the biggest penis in Ithaca. I measured.

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if you are a lair,,,, does that mean the username is a lie and,,,,, odysseus actually small penis?!?!?!

I am not a liar! My cock is huge. Just ask your mother.

#odysseus posting #ask odysseus!!#how dare you...

big-wooden-horse

(loudly, from outside the horse) I don’t trust this gift, WHAT IF THE GREEKS ARE INSIDE?

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP I THINK THEY HEAR US

odysseusbigdick

i blame nestor

#odysseus posting #replies

big-wooden-horse

Someone hold down Odysseus and Agamemnon, I don’t think they’re handling Helen’s trick well.

It’s not your wife! It’s Helen tricking us!

Nahhhhh pretty sure it’s my wife, but an order is an order and I gotta stay here

odysseusbigdick

it's her............

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big-wooden-horse

It’s so dark in here but I am 90% sure that agamemnon and odysseus are frotting in the corner

odysseusbigdick

LIES AND SLANDER I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

#odysseus posting #replies #THIS IS DEFAMATION

it's dark outside, that means the sun is not in the sky, instead it is Lady Selene

#odysseus posting #original #wisdom

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hellionsheart

damn if only there was a word for it

odysseusbigdick

It is I!

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In the darkest, deepest corners of the ocean, not much can survive. The pressure is crushing, and the lack of light and oxygen makes survival extremely difficult.

...okay???? Thank you???

Who is this...

#odysseus posting #original #ask odysseus!!

i miss my wife... everything reminds me of her... like the clothes peg i just saw...

#odysseus posting #original

Hope you sail off into the distance and don't come back

telemachus is this you

#odysseus posting #original #ask odysseus!!#i love my son guys trust

Hope you get trampled by a stampede of horses

i almost did saving patroclus...

#odysseus posting #original #ask odysseus!!

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I hope you drown

Who is this??? Show yourself!

#odysseus posting #original #ask odysseus!!

big-wooden-horse

Odysseus, why did you insist on giving the horse a barbaric horse shlong? What if the Trojans set it on fire?

Look, I tried asking the guy and all he said was “I am a many of many ways” whatever the fuck that means. Personally I think he’s just into it

odysseusbigdick

I am NOT into it :(

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