Albert Wåhlander

“You know what’s not cute? Your fat ass getting in the way of the entire couch.”

Kaede looks up for a brief moment and buries his head in again. He huffs against the fabric, expecting Albert to say something unbearably cute. That honesty of his was just too much for a guy to handle. No matter how difficult Kaede was, Albert always seemed to find his fussiness cute - endearing even. It was just too unfair.

“Besides, I don’t need your attention,” he mutters, clearly wanting every little bit of attention he can snatch.

“My fat ass?” Albert stares down at his partner’s butt in indignation. This butt was definitely bigger than his. He leans down, pressing his cheek against Kaede – cheek to cheek, if you will. “This ass is pretty great if you ask me.” Obviously what Kaede meant was the complete opposite of that, but who was Albert to go along with whatever he wanted?

As if to enforce that point, he grabs a hand full of his boyfriend’s ass, chuckling at the sound that leaves his lips. Kaede had definitely laid himself into a pretty picture for Albert to marvel at.

It takes everything not to press his hips up against him, his hand unsure whether he’s holding Kaede’s hips to still his boyfriend or himself. Even something as simple as this…

It’s too good for him not to savour.

“But it looks to me like you’re getting way too eager for me.” Albert pauses, taking his other hand underneath Kaede’s shirt.

Don’t talk to him about gardening. Any plant you give to him will be dead within the month. He’s not neglectful in the slightest, but every little thing he’s had on his windowsill shrivels up eventually.

Cookies and Cream: a family headcanon. 

He would die for his family. Not that they’d let him though.

Albert is an only child but he has quite a few younger cousins who always jump him whenever they come over to visit. His mother and father still treat him like he’s a big baby, even though he practically towers over the both of them.

Cotton Candy Explosion: a childhood/child(ren) headcanon. 

Albert doesn’t think he had a particularly spectacular childhood. Because of this, he really wants kids so he can give them an amazingly wonderful life. He’s a bit of a pushover whenever kids ask him for anything.

Death By Chocolate: an indulgence/guilty pleasure headcanon. 

As a champion swimmer, Albert loves to ‘reward himself’ by trying any and every food that he sees. Of course it’s not something major, but with him splurging half of his wallet on just a dessert, his teammates ended up taking turns looking after him while he’s out to make sure he’s not spending money on something silly.

Rocky Road: a difficulty or struggle headcanon. 

Like many swimmers, Albert’s had to overcome the mental blockades that appeared along his path to the top. Though, the hardest thing for him was to leave behind the friends that he began swimming with.

“They’d catch up” he convinced himself, thinking that he’d get to swim with the childhood friends that made the water an amazing place for him. Eventually they all moved on from swimming, supporting him in his dreams.

Tennessee Mud: an alcohol, drunkenness, intoxication headcanon.

Al’s got a pretty good grip of his drinking habits - he easily resists temptation around competition time but he’s definitely someone you’d ring up for a good time. When he’s actually drunk, he gets really cuddly with anyone and everyone.

Really cuddly. 

Strawberry Rhubarb Crunch: a mental health/neurodivergent headcanon.

Left under cut for potential triggers

An idle hand fiddles with the neon blue straw of his drink, bought for him by the man sitting across the table. It’s nice to finally be able to talk to someone here... but for the conversation to revolve entirely around himself?

Albert was still unsure of how to deal with interviews. Even if Nico was around his age, it was still difficult to talk to him, knowing that whatever he was saying would soon be published - even if it was just for the university paper. Did people actually read the sports section?

Seeing those deep brown eyes circles with fatigue, it’s evident to Albert that this job of his might be taking way too much out of him. Too desperate to get a good story maybe?

Well. Albert wasn’t in the mood to answer questions.

He wanted to ask them instead.

No, don’t be ridiculous. Time’s changed. This one might be nice.

Harmony shouldn’t judge, not a complete stranger who doesn’t appear to have a mean bone in his body. Still, she cautiously creeps closer to the edge of the water to have a better look of him, just to be sure if the rumors were true. Fingers brush her dark hair from her face to get a view of the figure.

It’s hard to see with the water, but it appears this stranger’s skin tone is lighter. He might be one, just as what some people claim in hushed words. Tendrils of fear wrap around the excitement of meeting another swimmer. The days locked in the recesses of her brain return. Days of her childhood on the reservation, hearing one word spoken by her grandfather’s traditionalist sisters and their spouses.

If only those stray thoughts would perish with the fear instilled by her family and their grim experiences. It’s the twenty-first century after all and it’s not the United States. He must be very nice and it’s best to give a good impression.

Just get over yourself. He might be heading this way. Get ready to say hi!

Harmony falls onto her knees, waiting to see the truth. Hands grip the edge of the pool, not bothering to back away when it may be in her best interest if she did.  But she has to see. She has to know if this is someone who is not from Japan themselves, even if they are very different from her. Perhaps there would be some common ground despite the differences.

She’s a swimmer wanting to meet another swimmer and that’s all that matters.

The water feels different.

Chlorine and all. Gliding through his strokes.

Every pool feels different, but here Albert finally feels relaxed. Away from tiresome competitivity and the watchful eyes of the jealous and adoring. He doesn't notice eyes that stare tainted with unfavourable emotions, but he still feels a gaze that latches onto him as he nears the edge of the pool.

Albert slows to a half, hand pressing against the wall as he lifts his head above the water. Through his clear goggles, it's evident that the girl standing before him is different. Not alike to him, but still different enough from the others around them to call somewhat similar. He practically tears off his cap and goggles, enthusiastic to speak to someone who isn't about to laugh at him for misunderstanding something.

He smiles up at the girl, seeing her cautious demeanour, as if to tell her that he definitely doesn't bite. Albert lifts himself up and out of the water, coming to stand to her attention.

Oh. She wasn't as tiny as most girls around here. He was starting to get neck pains from looking down so much after all.

"You look like you've seen a ghost or something, care to say what's on your mind?"

Hopefully she spoke English. If she suddenly returned with Japanese... then he'd definitely feel like a fool for believing that he could just get around with 'the common lingua franca', the language that was supposed to bring you anywhere in the world.

He’s always hogging the couch to himself. What an absolute dick.

After a long day at practice, Kaede had hoped to hop straight onto the couch and watch something trashy on TV - something that he’d eventually be able to fall asleep to. Now of course Albert, the greedy bastard, sat with his legs in two different continents to deny Kaede his long awaited rest. Even if his bed was a stone’s throw away, Kaede’s exasperation dragged him closer to Albert without hesitation.

Kaede’s command of ‘move over’ was simply ignored by that usual devilish smile and his partner flopped his arm over into the last bit of space left. It was easy to test his patience, but Kaede was just about done with dealing with him.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be, is it?”

He practically jumped into the man’s lap, almost falling over in his attempt to claim Albert’s thighs as his rightful sitting space.

An absolute success! Albert’s evil plan to trap Kaede was in full swing. True, the chance of having Kaede’s ass slam straight down on his dick and ruin his money maker was a thing, but at least he’d survived.

“I’ve got you!” Albert’s arms clamp around Kaede’s waist as he giggles against his partner’s neck. “You’re way too easy, my käraste.” Despite all of Kaede’s struggling, he attempts to sneak as many kisses as he can against ‘his dearest’s’ neck. Even if he’s just as wriggly as an ensnared crocodile.

“You’re way too cute like this.” Of course he knows that Kaede absolutely despises being called cute, but there’s no way he’s going to let this one go. Well, at least he can let his dearest go - he loosens his grip and sighs against his back.

He motioned for the other to join him in drying off so they could go eat.

Albert followed suit, getting out and drying as well. Finally, he thought. Finally someone wasn’t going to run off because they were intimidated or didn’t take him seriously.

Haru blinked a few times. A little sad that the other had stopped swimming, he’d been enjoying watching the other. He wasn’t going to been in the pool this afternoon, he had conditioning training with weights. He had to do it but he’d rather get a chance to swim with the other for longer.

“Lunch?” He asked carefully in English. He understood it better than he spoke it.

“Ah!” Albert’s eye widened at Haru’s English. Of course he’d been trying to learn how to speak, but he usually got laughed off. He still couldn’t understand why the girls from yesterday laughed at him for asking for their phone number - wasn’t denma the word for phone? He nods enthusiastically with a grin.

Haru was done swimming for the day, and he knew he should get out of the water and do his stretches, but he was enraptured watching Albert swim. The other’s form was beautiful. 

Just a few laps more he told himself. At least he’d been saying that for god knows how many times. Finally he came to a pause, only after feeling a certain pair of eyes fixed on him. He leaned upon the divider between them, smiling brightly at his watcher.