i am the crystal gem

I feel so awful even thinking this, but it feels like everyday my family gets more and more toxic. I’m 16 now and can leave in less than two years, which makes me feel a bit better but.. it still sucks to even have the fleeting thought that your parents have abusive traits. 

My parents are so nice to my friends, they’re so sweet and welcoming. I had two girlfriends over for NYE last night into this morning. And the past few days my mom and dad were so snippy with each other and me and became LIVID about every little thing. My mom found a wrapper on the ground and was yelling for over an hour. My dad insulted us kids for not “caring enough” to fix it, which was bullshit. I was scared to say or do anything, so I gave her space to cool down. I wasn’t sassing her or making it worse. I was waiting for her to calm down and then talk. But I guess I should have gotten involved? Which would have resulted in more yelling but ok

And then less than 24 hours later they put all that aside for my friends. Of course, whenever I had a moment away from them, my dad would scold me for leaving their sides for even two seconds. Even tho I was getting them a snack or drink or coming because a parent called me over, but if you’d rather I ignored everyones needs that fine ig

My parents talk shit about my family members, they did this a few days ago. My aunt and uncle were planning on coming to bring us some gifts, which is so nice of them! They live in the country so it’s a bit of a drive to the city where I live and I really appreciate the effort they put into us. But all my parents had to say about it was how they were so unorganized and so rude for coming by with “only a few days of notice”(we had like no plans that day and they called like four days in advance but ok). As soon as they got to my place, my parents stopped talking shit about them and started talking shit about other family members with them?! I was horrified, they didn’t even ask me to leave, they just went for it.