alice in borderland — enji matsushita “tick tock clock”
contents : spoiler, fluff, angst, suggestive content
Meeting one another in such a twisted place, falling in love and finding comfort in this limbo of madness is the only saddest thing anyone can ever undergo through.
The sunlight streams lightly through the transparent curtain, caressing the whole room like a sweet hum of lullaby, gently urging you to wake up. Warmth is the only thing that's keeping you in place.
Fingers dances through your hair as you snuggle further to the ball of heat beside you, breathing in the scent that you've grown fond of.
“You awake?” Hoarse voice questioned you, clearly having awoken themselves. Yet you gave no response.
Matsushita let out a breathless chuckle, hid fingers pausing in their ministration to your scalp, “Hmm, still sleepy huh.” Hand trail from your hair to your nape, his thumb pressing lightly on your skin.
They travel further, down to where the sheets cover your bodies. His index finger following the shape of your spine.
Warm.
Sometimes, Matsushita asks himself if this is truly real. Is it not just some form of sick reality? A whisper of a wish that his mind simply hoped for.
Life.
Alive. If this was simply a hallucination of his mind, he would be glad— his hand drawing small circles on your bare skin, after all, how can one love someone that darkness has swallowed whole?
Many times, he can never voice out the things he wants to say.
Such feeling of je-ne-sais-quoi squeezing him until he can no longer utter. The crawling of odd emotions flowing steady but leaving a deep scar as it webs his entire being. And perhaps this is where he is meant to be.
In the darkness—with his most hoped treasure.
“What are you thinking so hard of?”
Matsushita hummed, smiling as he shifts his weight to his arm to gaze down at you, “I wonder...” A twinkle in his eyes, such adoration held within made in contact with yours, “how good I treat you last night, maybe?” In addition to his words, he cocked his head a bit with a smug grin.
“Pervert.”
His grin widen.
“Now you're just hurting my feelings!” He leaned, the hand that previously kept on drawing now grips your waist as he closed the proximity between the two of you. “But, I will be more than willing to do it again with you, ya'know?”
“You're a tease, don't you know that, Enji?”
“Oh sugar, I am aware.”
You giggle, Matsushita rolled on top of you, “It's one of my charm.” Taking a swift kiss from you, he grin, “This time, I'll take over.”
Perhaps, in this Warm Life can he start anew.
“Don't go..” You whined, the early mornings always makes you drowsy but never Matsushita. His fringe sways as he tilt his head, “I have to. ” There goes that sweet smile full of regret. “I don't wish to leave you, ” He mutters, fingers lacing with yours, “But you know I have to.”
Beat.
That heartbeat he became in peace with, he can feel it. A rhythm he will always recognize, a melody he shall never forget.
“Must you really do?”
He chuckles. “I must.”
“Then, come back home?”
“I will.” He kissed you, a promise he will never break. “I will come back home to you, sweetheart.”
“Promise?”
Matsushita smiled, his hands that's gripping his jacket take a hold of your cheeks before they held and laced your pinkies.
“Promise, I will always return to you.”
Beauty.
What's the first thing that comes to one's mind when they think of it? For him, it's only one thing.
Y/n
His purest sweetheart. The back of his mind screams that you are touched by the darkness—maybe that's him? He doesn't know.
“How'd you know you'll come back to me everytime?”
Matsushita smiled, kissing your crown lightly as he pulls you to safety. Chaos ensues behind you. The mayhem sings a tune and fulfills a whole tandem of requiem for those who hum for it.
“If..”
“That's because I'll make sure I will.”
His hand squeeze your hand.
Eyes trail to the window in thought, fingers tracing small circles on your knuckles. “If we somehow get out of here— No.. If we live longer, on the right time..” Matsushita kissed his teeth, cheeks flaring red as he thinks.
“I want us to settle down.” Bashfully, he averts his gaze, the finger that's been drawing, rest on your left ring finger, “and visit a lot of beautiful places together.”
“I'll make sure to make you happy until we grow old. That's why I will always live and come back to you, no matter how long it will take.” He rolls over to his side, smiling fondly.
“So make sure to survive too, yeah?”
“Wait- what made you sure it's me? The Jack of Hearts could easily be one of you guys.” Matsushita breathes, his heart thumping wildly in his ribcage.
There's a slight panic laced in his tone.
This is bad.
Matsushita took a small deep breath, “Okay maybe I did try to blame everything by setting you up, but look!” There's desperation in his voice as he attempts to further convince the men circling him.
Yaba, Banda, Chishiya—How dare they. His fool was foul proof, it should've been.
“It's not enough, right?” Eyes held a tremor of terror in them, I need to survive this.
“You guys don't have any proof that I'm the Jack of Hearts, huh?” He knew from the start, lay low and wait, patiently. A predator watching it's preys in a frantic.
But there he spots another, another and another, lone predators lying in observation. Eyes trained on him. Chishiya stepped forward, Matsushita could feel his heart drop.
He kissed the inside of his cheeks, praying to whoever can hear him—grant him the luck and mercy he asks. He needs. “These guys kept you alive.” Every fiber of his bones screams for the doom of this man, his mind in a frazzle as he listens. Ears straining and nerves screaming. “because they decided they want to get information out of you.”
Shock at the revelation, Matsushita looked behind him only to see Yaba and Banda approaching.
His breathing deepens.
I have to survive this.
I must come home.
Round 14, start.
“It's not everyday we get to meet a citizen of this country. We need you to tell us the ins and outs of this country.” Yaba announces, Banda looking at him with amusement dancing in his eyes, the glint of the metallic knife smirks smugly at him.
No..
No- I need to live. For me. For y/n.
“I'm sorry we won't be able to kill you, but..” Banda smiles at him, kneeling with the sharp tool in his hand, “there are other ways to have fun.”
Aahh... Warm.
Like a mother's embrace, soothing and full of love.
What did he do wrong?
Matsushita questions to himself. Was it a sin to push forward to survive? This life that's so precious to him, is it wrong to wish for a longer life?
“No no..”
The only salvation he has. His dearest.
His eyes teared up at the thought. He sat in the pool of his own blood, mourning at the thought that he will never be able to see his lover again. I'm sorry, y/n.
“You promised.”
He can see- blurry, the e/c that he's known to cherish.
It hurts.
Is he hallucinating? The pain is too much. He can't tell. “You promised to me. You'd always return to me.”
Raindrops.?
Everything is so hauntingly deafening. He can't focus. “So why are you leaving me now?”
There's something soft placed on his cheek. Warmth on his forehead and the salt that meets his lips is melancholic.
Y/n?
Matsushita never imagined he would meet his demise so soon. In borderland, a promise will soon break—How dare he be naive that everything will work out fine. I want to be with you one last time.
Greedy.
Greedy.
Greedy. His heart cries in sorrow. “I thought..” He whimpers, voice cracking and blood draining, “I thought we'd have more time.”
