█ ▌┊ ❛ OCTOPUS. ❛

why do you need a human fc, you already have one ????

you know i was almost going to guess davy jones but

" I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... "

" F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium... bombs! N is for no survival! "

" I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet! "

" Go away, can't you see I'm trying to forget you. "

" You don't need a license to drive a sandwich. "

" Remember licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets! "

" Worship the magic conch! "

" Can you take the crust off my Krabby Patty? "

" The best time to wear a striped sweater... is all the time! "

" Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end! "

" Well first, we have to balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads, stand on one foot, and sing the Bikini Bottom Anthem. "

" Two words, Na. Chos. "

" Sounds like you have a dying animal to attend to. "

" Well, it's no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly. "

" East?! I thought you meant Weest. "

" I smell the smelly smell of something that smells... smelly. "

" It took us three days to make that potato salad! THREE DAYS! "

" This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is... ADVANCED darkness. "

" You know what's funnier than 24? 25! "

" Too bad that didn't kill me. "

" That's it! You have crossed the line! As of right now, this friendship is over! "

" Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. "

" Is mayonnaise an instrument? "

" My leg! "

" Hi, Kevin. I'm your biggest fan. "

" Don't geniuses live in lamps? "

" Why don't you go and ask Cowbob Ranchpants and his friend sir Eat-a-lot. "

" I was going to ask you if you wanted to go jellyfishing but I can see that you're busy having an episode. "

" Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers. "

" Will you please stop leaving your undergarments on my front lawn? "

❛ Telling someone that they have a big head isn’t usually considered a compliment, but hey, whatever floats your boat. Now, are you gonna tell me how to get to the nearest coffee store or not? ❜

             ”THEY——                    They just  D I E D!                   Oh, boy, it was AWFUL why are you mentioning                   this  you  are  ruining  my poor human boy-heart,                   auch,  I can just FEEL it slowly breaking!                                                    OOoooooh, nooooooooo.  ”

❛ brrrrlb. brrrblrr blrr ! ❛ ( ᵒʰ ᵐʸ˒ ᵗʰᵃᵗ'ᶳ ᵗʳᵘˡʸ ᵘᶰᶠᵒʳᵗᵘᶰᵃᵗᵉ.  ᶤ'ᵐ ᶳᵒʳʳʸ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˡᵒᶳᶳ˒ ˡᶤᵗᵗˡᵉ ᵒᶰᵉ ᵎ )

     ❝     ya’ sure can, pal.     ❞