you’re leaving ?

can you shut up ?

are you  [ name ] ?

who am i to you ?

why should i care ?

can i come inside ?

did i do something ?

you don’t trust me ?

can we make a deal ?

are you lying to me ?

are you free tonight ?

are we going to die ?

can i come with you ?

can we call it even ?

you stay here , okay ?

you think i’m stupid ?

can you stitch me up ?

are you doing alright ?

is that … my shirt ?

who takes care of you ?

have you seen yourself ?

what took you so long ?

can’t you see i’m busy ?

who do you think i am ?

why are you helping me ?

are you happy with him ?

are we having a moment ?

are you listening to me ?

how are you so arrogant ?

how did you afford this ?

what are you doing here ?

is this all in my head ?

why won’t you look at me ?

are you here to kill me ?

do you want some company ?

are you from around here ?

do you need to lie down ?

are we on the same page ?

why didn’t you defend me ?

are you sure you’re ready ?

where is this coming from ?

where were you last night ?

you wanted to talk to me ?

will you PLEASE be quiet ?!

what was i supposed to do ?

why do you look so guilty ?

[ name ]  …  truth or dare ?

why did you bring me here ?

are you looking for someone ?

since when does that matter ?

why do you put up with me ?

THIS is your breaking point ?

what can i say to fix this ?

do you think i deserve this ?

hey ,  hey ,  are you with me ?

why are you leaving so soon ?

what do you get out of this ?

[ name ] ,  what have you done ?

do you have a minute to talk ?

did you ever actually love me ?

do you need somewhere to stay ?

why don’t you ever listen to me ?

do you hear yourself right now ?

you knew & you didn’t tell me ?

do you want something to drink ?

when did you know you loved me ?

when was the last time you ate ?

what’s your favorite scary movie ?

do you want to get out of here ?

why is this so important to you ?

can i at least buy you a drink ?

how can you think this is funny ?

are you sure you’re up for this ?

are you trying to start something ?

what are we supposed to do now ?

can we at least try to be civil ?

why won’t you just leave me alone ?

are you thinking what i’m thinking ?

why are you so concerned about me ?

why can’t you just stay out of it ?

you’re not bailing on me , are you ?

how long have you been lying to me ?

can you keep your eyes open for me ?

how long have things been like this ?

why is this suddenly such a problem ?

what ,  am i supposed to be impressed ?

do you ever wish you could run away ?

you’re going to believe them over me ?

why are you looking at me like that ?

why can’t you just tell me the truth ?

why can’t you ever take responsibility ?

what can i do to make it up to you ?

can we put this whole thing behind us ?

i’m coming to get you , where are you ?

can you stay ? just for a little while ?

why won’t you let me be here for you ?

when are you going to forgive yourself ?

is that what your nightmares are about ?

what kind of person does this make me ?

where are we supposed to go from here ?

are you TRYING to get yourself killed ?!

why can’t we just talk like we used to ?

why do these things always happen to me ?

how long has it been since you’ve slept ?

can’t we just enjoy the moment for once ?

why can’t you ever stand up for yourself ?

why haven’t you been answering your phone ?

what was i supposed to do ,  let you die ?

can you just listen and do as i say for once ?

what do you mean ,  you’re not coming back ?

can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?

you’d tell me if something was wrong ,  right ?

where do you go when you space out like that ?

you were going to leave without saying goodbye ?

you’ll stand by my side no matter what ,  right ?

what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into ?

i need you to sit up ,  can you do that for me ?

if you have nothing to hide ,  what’s the problem ?

you really don’t care about any of this ,  do you ?

can you just tell me everything’s going to be okay ?

i like it . did you write that ?

haven't i already told you that ?

tell me , [ name ] , what's your secret ?

you're looking fresh as a daisy .

are you okay ? you seem ...

i'm just tired . tomorrow's a big day .

that's very important , do you understand ?

why can't you just accept that this is your family ?

this isn't a family , it's a repressive regime .

you're driving us all crazy .

this is our life , it is what it is .

you're burning up . you running a fever ?

shut the fuck up .

all these years , i've been trying to figure out your angle .

you're not interested in anyone .

[ name ] . i'm onto you .

you can't just vanish .

is there a problem ?

there's obviously been a mistake , can you please tell me what i'm doing here ?

what a pleasure to meet you .

i know who you are .

i'm amazed you made it this far .

this is ... this is all a big mistake .

for your sake , i wish that were true .

is there another way ?

i can't believe this is happening .

we can't just sit here . we gotta do something !

i don't wanna die . i don't wanna die .

you're gonna be okay , i'm here .

i'm sorry . i'm so sorry .

you're supposed to be the believer .

i don't know what i believe . i don't know who i am .

they won't suffer .

sometimes , i think " to hell with it " . to hell with everybody .

do not underestimate [ name ] .

make this a priority .

we always work best as a team .

somebody wants us to disappear . the question is why .

this isn't a game , [ name ] . don't lose your head out there .

what's it gonna be ?

playing dumb doesn't suit you , [ name ] .

get the fuck out of there !

that's not an option .

i wanted to , uh ... try something new .

hold on , we've got a situation .

all your big talk , and you've ... never been with anyone ?

trust me , we're doing them a favor .

i'm scared , [ name ] . what are we gonna do ?

shhh , we're gonna get you out of here .

we failed miserably as a species on this planet .

anyone who's willing to sacrifice their own flesh and blood can never truly be trusted .

you sold us out . how could you ?

i thought you of all people would understand .

what do you know about family ?

i did everything i was told . i did everything right .

i didn't plan this . it got out of my control .

i was a total fuck - up .

if i could go back and change it all , i would .

promise me you won't let them take them .

x. @oceatide sent:

"hey, riku ??' sora's voice is quiet, finger drawing an idle pattern in the sand. 'promise me you won't get hurt for me anymore. you've already done so much, and i...i can't repay you for it.' his eyes are fixed on the ocean now, almost refusing to look at riku, sora thinks he'll cry if he does. 'so instead, just...focus on keeping yourself safe. i'm stronger now, so...you don't have to get hurt anymore, okay ??'

He sits there silently next to Sora , his right knee was propped up supporting his right arm while his left leg remained outstretched in the sand . When he heard his name he looked over at Sora , raising a brow in question .

" . . .Yes ?"

He really should have waited until the question was done because when Sora was finished , Riku's expression hardened .

" . . . No . That's a stupid thing to promise . "

Riku looked down at the sand then back to the ocean , leaving his expression as it was -- stern and stoic .

sora's voice is soft , sad even when he finds it , curling in on himself as his knees are pulled up to his chest. he knows how much riku's sacrificed for him , how many times riku's gotten hurt for him. it's not fair , he never asked to be part of this , never asked to be protected .

if riku keeps putting himself in danger , what was sora supposed to do to keep him safe ??

❛ you don't understand , riku , i ... i can't lose you. ❜

his hand is buried in the sand , curled into a tight fist. he can't lose riku , can't let anything happen because of him .

❛ i can't let you get hurt for me anymore , i ... ❜

sora gives a shake of his head , cutting himself off. it doesn't matter why , just that he can't let anything happen to riku , can't stand to see anyone else hurt because of him.

@oceatide sent : 'riku.' a beat of pause as namine sits beside him in the sand, looking out at the sunset. 'i didn't know you had a brother.' another pause as a smile forms on her face, a little sad. 'what's it like ??' it always sounded nice in her head, the idea of always having someone, of never truly being alone.

Riku looked over at Namine and raised an eyebrow . He'd never been asked what it was like to have a SIBLING before . He could understand where she was coming from , though , but the question still caught him off guard .

" Yeah . . .I have a twin brother . "

He shrugged a little in response . " -- He's older . "

He didn't really know if he should be talking about this . He could tell that it hurt her feelings . He didn't want to hurt her feelings but she was the one who brought it up . Gently , he continued with the topic .

a   low   giggle   leaves   her   ,   letting   a   handful   of   sand   fall   through   her   fingers.   having   a   sibling   ,   someone   who   was   always   there   for   you   ...   namine   thought   it   sounded   wonderful   .   someone   to   lean   on   ,   someone   to   talk   to   ...   she   was   almost   jealous   .

❛   are   you   and   your   brother   close   ??   ❜

with   a   smile   ,   namine   turns   to   look   towards   riku   ,   leaning   her   head   on   her   knees.   to   have   a   family   ...   riku   made   it   sound   so   warm   ,   so   inviting   .

I need true emotions

Riku: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

and you are atlas, with shoulders not yet broad enough  /  for all you are to carry. your young heart an altar  /  for all the suffering yet to pass. and you are icarus, with your wings of wax  /  flying into a setting sun. you burn  /  ever in death as in life. and you are achilles, with strength not enough  /  to protect those you love. your gentle heart  /   as the knife within it. you will learn this lesson young  /  and you will learn it quick:

While Kaito claimed that their mother had nothing to do with it , Riku knew otherwise . She'd been telling him to forgive his brother for [ [ m o n t h s ] ] now , but he didn't have any desire to do so . There'd been a WALL put between them for too long now , and it wasn't going to change . . . They'd severed themselves , with little hope of repair .

" -- You just what ? "

Thoughts that trailed off meant [ [ t h i n g s ] ] left unsaid . If they were going to talk then they were going to talk . Otherwise , what was the point of even ATTEMPTING to have this conversation in the first place ? Neither of them could change the past now . What was done was done . Riku wasn't even concerned for himself , at this point . He had done his time doing what Kaito had done . He battles the darkness [ [ d a i l y ] ] within himself . While it had been accepted , and while he could feel himself welcoming it , that didn't mean it wasn't still trying to end his life daily . He didn't WANT that for Kaito . He wanted his brother to live life where the darkness practically never touched him . . .

Maybe that was what made Riku so angry about the entire situation ? That his brother had followed him and [ [ a c c i d e n t a l l y ] ] gotten himself wound up in the darkness , where Riku followed it and suffered immensely . They both are suffering . . . and while Kaito blames himself , Riku didn't see why when it was all his fault Kaito got hurt in the first place .

After all . . . he left . He still leaves . He still goes on missions where he MIGHT come back . Even then , it's not like he comes right back home each time . . . he goes to Terra first . There was a reason for that , though . One , they were together and two . . . Terra knew all too well what sort of damage this work did . No , he wasn't okay with Riku coming back in pieces , but he at least understood . . . RIku didn't think Kaito would ever understand seeing Riku come back from missions . If he saw the way he came back . . . he might never let him leave again . Terra let him leave , even if he wasn't thrilled about it .

" -- We both fucked up . We hurt people differently . . . but you didn't have to follow . "

Riku's eyes fell to the sand as he listened to his twin-brother speak .

" .. . Why did mom see right through you when I wasn't there ? She still had you . She had her favourite child . . . what did she need me for ?" His fingers relaxed against his forearms as he finally managed to look up at his brother . ". . .I'm sorry that I left , but I didn't have a choice . . .You [ [ h a d ] ] a choice . If I didn't go then who knows what would remain of our home . . . of you , of mom . "

He thought about his next words VERY carefully . He had so much to think about but , at the end of the day , Kaito wanted to try again . And Riku . . .

it   chills   kaito   to   his   core   ,   thinking   about   the   way   she   used   to   look   at   him   ,   like   a   hollow   reminder   of   something   she   was   missing.   all   the   fights   at   school   ,   all   the   trouble   he   caused   ,   at   least   when   she   was   mad   at   him   she   was   his   mother   .   it   wasn't   fair   to   her   ,   but   none   of   it   had   been   fair.

it   was   hard   to   admit   that   he'd   fucked   up   ,   that   so   much   of   this   sat   on   his   shoulders.   it   was   even   harder   to   admit   that   his   own   actions   ,   his   own   failings   ,   had   cost   him   his   family   when   he   needed   them   most.

he   didn't   deserve   forgiveness   from   anyone   ,   let   alone   riku.   but   he   wanted   it   ,   wanted   to   be   told   he   wasn't   as   bad   as   he   thought   he   was   ,   even   if   it   wasn't   the   truth.

❛   it   ...   felt   like   i   was   losing   everyone   i've   ever   loved   ,   all   at   once.   you   left   ,   sora   left   ,   even   kairi   left.   mom   wasn't   the   same   ,   i   wasn't   the   same   ...   it   felt   like   all   people   had   done   was   leave   .   it   felt   like   i   didn't   have   a   choice   if   i   didn't   want   to   lose   everyone   forever.   i   ...   i   didn't   want   to   hurt   anyone   ,   i-i   just   ...   didn't   want   to   lose   anyone.   ❜

putting   his   soul   on   display   was   more   vulnerable   than   he'd   planned   on   being   ,   &   kaito   curls   in   on   himself.

❛   ...   you   don't   have   anything   to   apologize   for.   i   hurt   people   because   i   was   being   selfish   ,   that's   ...   different.   but   i   want   to   try   and   fix   it.   not   for   mom   ,   but   because   ...   ❜

a   choked   out   sob   .

There were a MILLION emotions running through RIku's head at a mile a minute . How many times had the fought now ? How many times had they been at each other's throats because they took different paths ?

And now . . . Kaito wanted to apologize . . .?

" . . . You left because we all left . . . we came back and were not even my brother . "

Riku's words were VERY cold as he watched the waves crash against the shoreline . He had more to say , but he fought himself to hold them back . He'd learned from Terra -- pick your battles . Not every one is a fight worth having . Even if Kaito was willing to extend the olive branch , it would take more than a few words to make Riku [ [ f o r g i v e ] ] his brother .

' I just . . . miss my brother '.

" --Do you think I don't miss you ? " He asked sharply , " . . . Of course I do . I know I left . I had no choice . [ [ Y o u ] ] had a choice . And you got FUCKING hurt because of it . How do you think they feel ? Sora , Kairi ? "

. . .me . . .?

Riku's fingernails dug into his forearms as he rested them on his knees . He could feel himself getting angry , and [ [ f e e l ] ] those emotions starting to rise up inside of him and make him wish that he was ANYWHERE but here .

'I don't want to lose you forever . '

" . . . It's going to take more than some words to fix this . I know I'm not perfect -- I never said I was -- . . . but at least I know when I've crossed a line . " He finally looked over at Kaito , eyes hardened .

he   trails   off   with   a   sigh   ,   letting   a   handful   of   sand   run   through   his   fingers.   there's   no   excuse   for   what   he   did   ,   not   one   that   justifies   any   of   the   hurt   he   caused.   but   he   was   so   tired   of   watching   everyone   he   loves   disappear   ,   of   dealing   with   the   hurt   it   caused.

❛   ...   i   know   i   fucked   up.   i   know   i   hurt   people   ,   that   i   caused   problems.   no   need   to   remind   me   of   that.   ❜

a   dry   laugh   leaves   kaito   at   that   ,   shaking   his   head.   there   wasn't   any   way   kaito   could   ever   forget   the   mistakes   he   made   ,   they   haunted   him   nearly   every   night.   he   knows   his   mistakes   are   entirely   his   fault.   but   he   can't   seem   to   make   riku   understand   why   he   made   them   ,   why   he   got   so   angry   .   it's   like   riku   wants   to   hate   him   ,   like   he   doesn't   even   want   to   understand.

❛   yeah   ,   i   left   because   everyone   left.   and   i   was   ...   so   angry.   and   mom   was   ...   she   wasn't   there.   she   looked   right   through   me   because   you   weren't   there.   and   it   just   hurt   .   it   hurt   ,   and   that's   why   i   was   angry   .   why   i   left   .   ❜

he   wonders   if   riku   will   even   listen   to   him   ,   if   his   brother   would   actually   hear   him   out.