ur alone on this one

something about the muffle 

The most eclectic sound I’ve ever heard in my life.

Thought it was b.s but you can really send yourself to another time listening to this… Picturing everything

This is nice

once i get the right man for me it’s over lol. im genuinely gone bless him

Mans gon be spoiled as hell!

HAPPY DAY ONE OF VALENTINES DAY💗💞💝💖💗💞💖💕💘💓💕💗💗💗💘💖💗💞💝💖💗💞💗💘💕💞💖💗💗💞💗💘💕💓💖💗💝💝💘💕💖💘💗💞💓💗💘💝💘💖💘💘💕💕💕💓💖💗💞💗💘💗💝💖💓💖💞💝

Oh my fucking GOD

this is the best thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.

oh my gosh he’s gently play-biting them like they’re his own babies

@since-the-900s

This is the only fucking thing I care about, do you hear me.

the other day at work, i asked a woman her name– like i do for everyone, because we have to write it on the cup–and she goes “we come in here all the time. you should really know our names by now” as if i don’t serve hundreds of people a day or as though a nondescript middle aged white woman made such an impact upon me that i’d remember her. i was feeling pretty impatient and irritable though, so i covered my name tag with my hand and asked her my name and she didn’t know it and at least had the decency to change demeanor from haughty and superior to sort of quietly embarrassed and i’m fairly sure that’s the only thing i’ve ever done at work that matters to me. 

so i make an account on some garbage website. i dont wanna name an actual website so lets just make one up, lets call it tumblr dot com. and i open up the website, and i say “can i check my activity now please?” and they go “NO. IT CRASHES THE APP IF YOU TRY.” (spits) and i go “O-KAAAAY” and then i go to the bathroom. and i go “ANY UPDATES?” and they say “YEAH. WE DELETED YOUR BLOG WHILE YOU WERE IN THE BATHROOM. BECAUSE WE HATE YOU. NOW TAKE THIS VIDEO STREAMING SERVICE THAT NO ONE USES. GO, FETCH!” and i go OOOOOKAAAAAAAY and then i go to email tumblr support which is an oxymoron and i say “can i please make posts on the website” and they go “NO! IN FACT WERE GONNA FRAME YOU FOR MURDER! AND YOURE GONNA GO TO JAIL FOR THIRTY YEARS!” and i go “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!” and they say “BECAUSE WERE TUMBLR DOT COM AND LIFE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!”

me, drinking orange juice right of the container like the cool older brother on a disney channel show

I hate it when vodka tries to be fancy and use fancy adjectives to describe their products like I’m drinking fucking gasoline okay like this isn’t wine tasting we’re all here to get black out trashed and you know it