not that you ever take me to the opera

Homophobia is rooted in misogyny. Transphobia is rooted in misogyny. These forms of oppression exist as an extension of a bioessentialist hatred of women whether that involves being one, "acting" like one, "presenting" like one, or rejecting the categorization between men and women altogether. Every form of gendered oppression that negatively affects men does so ultimately because of misogyny as a root cause and is enforced by misogynistic violence.

Any terminology meant to highlight some kind of gendered oppression against a group of men (e.g. "misandry", "transandrophobia", etc.) fundamentally misunderstands gendered oppression, how it works, and why it exists in the first place. You cannot eliminate homophobia without dismantling patriarchy. You cannot eliminate transphobia without dismantling patriarchy.

The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.

And I am not going to mince words here:

A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.

That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.

"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.