Occasionally Brilliant

everyone say thank you ao3 volunteers you're the best ao3 volunteers ily ao3 volunteers

“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.

DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY

IM NOT PARANOID YOU’RE PARANOID

would a “paranoid despot with innocent blood on his hands”construct a bunch of secret underground passageways under his palace to avoid the prying eyes of the living and dead? if anything, it just proves how INTELLIGENT and RATIONAL i am because no one can be sure of where i am at any given time! being in a constant state of heightened vigilance is the best way to avoid the assassins who are 100% real and 100% out to get me!

This is what mercury does to you, folks.

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

#famously few birds in space#probably the safest place to take him (via @placeofwonder)

Remember: behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this occasion

Okay not only is this a bop but it single handedly raised my self confidence

Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.

That's exactly what someone trying to hide what's really happening in the National Forests would say. 🤔

No no the parks and forests are safe very safe

I'm not sure I really trust your motives here, bearthateatspeople

Don’t even get me started on pharmaceuticals. They are potions and concoctions. I googled “how does Tylenol work” and it turns out the answer is “hmmmm we don’t actually know, but it works” and then I go “cool!” and take two of them

ok i just wanna check something.... reblog if you've never watched/opened tumblr live

reblog if you’d open a cursed tomb before even considering opening tumblr live

I'm setting my trap, to catch the damn haiku bot. Quiet! Here it comes.