they said i'd be a gem

Right. How about we just go with the whole ice-cream thing?

That’s not a good idea, but okay.

Okay… all I’m saying is don’t make a mess. 

See I know you’re not using reverse psychology but it feels like you are, and because it feels like you really want me to that makes me not want to even though I think I know you don’t want me to which makes me want to but also not want to and then I want ice cream. Y’know?

Don’t move a thing. I spent three hours cleaning and organising this room perfectly.

You shouldn’t say things like that to a cat.

“See you say that but you’ve lived this long! You didn’t choke on a pair of nailclippers when you were three and a half months old, did you? I mean, unless you did, in which case you are looking amazing for a corpse, jay ess why kay.” Kitty began pulling up strands of grass and braiding them together because, well, why not?

“Are we not all scientists, in the ology that is life?” Kitty kept smiling at the girl, that unnerving grin that was really too big for her face, “Actually I read at Oxford. And okay, it wasn’t in the university itself, it was only in the town, and okay, I was only reading comics but the point still stands!

Kitty grinned. She lived for situations like this. “That’s a very low flying cloud,” she told the girl, sitting down at the base of the tree with a bump. “I understand the leaves might confuse you and the bark and such but that’s just global warming affecting the texture of the raindroplets.”

You’re missing the fact that I want to kill these animals. I want to murder them in your name and then I’ll kill you.

Well it’s pretty boring for me. So hurry up and kill the itty bitty pretty kitties so you can get on to the main event because you’re being dull and drear and stupid. Though I dunno if you know how to be anything but so I guess there’s no point in me telling you anyway because you’ll just keep being the way you are which is boring.

I wanted to see if you found my second surprise. 

Yeah, so? -wrinkles her nose- I really don’t have time for theatrics at the moment, so either kill me now or don’t but enough with the animal mutilation.

Hm. Why are you talking to me?

“Samara is a pretty name,” Kitty agreed, then frowned suddenly, “No, she was the other one.  Kayako Saeki! That’s her, she’s the telly one. Even though it should be in August. Stupid Romans.

That one dude was a tree though! And was all “I am Groot,” and the raccoon, I actually saw that movie on some pretty hard drugs so when the raccoon started speaking I flipped my shit. 

They were the best characters. Like I really liked Nebula, because she was the same colour as my hair was at the time, but they were the best. Simon says.