行き止まり

             ♑ //; Tries to lick elbow. Fails. “—Now you gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me…” Keeps trying.

   「 ♟ 」 For a moment, he’s tempted to say yes.

                                She sounds so sincere; so innocent… And that’s exactly why he can’t say yes with a clear conscience. To be honest, the past few weeks have been particularly hard on him. Not physically, just… There are just too many thoughts in his head for him to actually think straight. Just the idea of watching stars — that in itself brings back too many memories. It’s so hard to think clearly. To be honest, It’s almost pathetic. He’s pathetic.

               “Um…                       Yuno, I… It sounds like a good idea, just… maybe not now.”

                       Crap. That doesn’t sound right either. Ahh, he really is terrible with this stuff… No wonder he never ever really had a … you know … girlfriend before. Or real friends for that matter. Haah. But still. Within all the chaos going on everywhere, would one fun night be so bad? Even if the whole idea of “stargazing” was something he wanted to do with them… It wouldn’t hurt, right?

                                                       …Even if he really only intended to stargaze with them.

                     Calm down. Smile. Slow down.                     Don’t think about it. Calm down.

    「 ♟ 」 ‘I love you, too’ sounds too cliché to be an actual answer choice. It’s not that he minds being cliché that much, but for some reason, silence felt like a better answer. It feels like it’s been years, and yet he still doesn’t know how to respond to such a simple statement. What an idiot.

             Still though.                             It sure is comforting to know that someone out there loves you, huh?

     「 ♟ 」 "...It's too cloudy for stars."

             nothing changes about how bizarre the declaration is.

                   ”…as what?                    —— a friend?                    —— an ally?                    —— or as a lover?”

           Such fairy-tale only is a make believe. A lie to satisfy her needs. However, her love stays genuine than any others —perhaps even than Yukiteru’s. She knew well enough that he remained to be with her to only be secured and safe.. and that’s what she assumed no matter how many thoughts of ’ hers being only his, and his only being hers ‘. It was because of it. It was the survival game..

                                               ”—and now that it's over.. do you still need me?”

           「 ♟ 」 ❝A...as...❞

                 Dammit. She really didn't believe him did she?                  Who would. Fingers clench and unclench to occupy                  himself. He really screwed up, huh?

                 But this time... this time is love really is real.

                                      ❝..As everything, Yuno.❞

                 As a friend, an ally, as a lover. As everything. Of course he                  needed her for the survival game —— but now? He still needs                  her. Because...because he fell in love. Amano Yukiteru, the                  school loner, shut-in, loser. Capable of loving and being loved.