ARCHIVED AS FUCK.

       ❝     look  —     ❞      and then she makes a show of pouting . very excessively . acting is serious work , people .

Peter nods slowly, taking in a deep breath. “Maybe I will,” he tells her, watching her for a moment. It still feels weird, being here, being outside of the apartment when he’s been in there for what feels like months. Peter sees one of the televisions on, a news segment playing on the screen. There’s two reporters at a table with the headline ‘Will Spider-Man Ever Return? Has He Moved on from His Days of Saving People?’ as he takes in a sharp breath, knowing this probably isn’t the first time a news station has taken to reporting on Spider-Man’s disappearance. He can hear the staff behind the bar talking with each other, his free hand gripping the edge of the counter.  “I didn’t think he’d last as long as he did, that spider dude,” the one says, to the other nodding to him. “Maybe the spandex was too much for him,” she jokes, making the other guy laugh. That’s all Spider-Man is now - just a joke, a news segment for people to talk about. That wasn’t what he wanted Spider-Man to become, but by not putting on the suit, Peter did this to himself. MJ’s eye roll brings him back, looking at her as he forces a small smile. “You’re just denying the truth you already know,” Peter teases he gently, their banter slowly bringing him down from hearing the news clip about Spider-Man, grounds him. That what MJ does, she grounds him, brings him back to reality.  Being this close to MJ just feels like second nature to Peter, so easily to fall back into with her. When they’re at the apartment it’s gentle touches and MJ’s feet in his lap as they watch a movie, or Peter tracing slow circles on MJ”s arm just because he can, really. It’s something they’ve always done, and Peter feels something settle in him when she’s touching him in some simple way. Peter laughs quietly, feeling her nose bump his temple. “Come on, I’ve told you this so many times. You don’t know what you’re missing,” he tells her, sounding completely serious, though his smiles gives him away. Peter makes a face at MJ, pinching her arm gently, “Enough, calling her a single hot, single Aunt. Mr. Stark does that enough as it is,” Peter says, “besides. She likes having me around.” He tries to defend himself, but MJ’s right. May has given so much of her life to Peter, it’s time Peter starts giving back. When the woman addresses Peter as MJ’s boyfriend, he smirks. This isn’t something that’s new to them, and it was something - Gwen wasn’t all that happy about, considering half the time people would think Peter and MJ were together, not Peter and Gwen. Peter looks at the woman again, shaking his head as he feels MJ’s chin against his head. “She’s joking. We’ve been together what, seven months now?” Peter says, playing along. He orders himself a coke and thanks her, before looking back at MJ again. “You should’ve gone with a Pacific Rim reference, since I know you liked that movie more,” Peter says simply, shaking his head, as if she’s done something to disappoint him.

           seven months , jesus christ . mj snorts at that - yeah , she wishes - but smiles a bland one at the staff before they go , readying the orders both mj and peter have set them to do . she narrows her gaze at his comment on pacific rim , about to comment on how that references wouldn’t work if he’s actually single , before she bites back on her tongue ; toppling her elbow on the counter and covering her mouth when her chin drops on the palm of her hand . 

        it still hurts that a lot of things do connect them loosely back to the past — to gwen , to when peter was still willing to put on the suit and called himself spider man — but it can’t be help . moving on has never been an easy process . mj should know . she has a whole book of it dedicated just so she could cope better when peter didn’t eat or sleep the first few weeks after gwen’s gone .      ❝    maybe ,     ❞      she chooses to say instead , finding herself murmuring :    ❝    we should watch it again . the sequel has john boyega in it .     ❞

       it takes her a while to finally realise that the news channel on the tv is discussing about spider man in the wake of the many avengers and superheroes . it’s not the first time . usually when mj hears about it on the streets , or on the news , or it pops up in the many apps she has in her phone , she has to face them all half-heartedly . when somebody engages her in columbia about it — “hey , so you’re from queens? you must’ve seen him, right - spider man?” — it’s easy to slip on a blank mask and just answer without truly exaggerating . 

      everybody remembers a hero that disappears . but mj never forgets the boy who grieves .

      so yeah . there’s that . the staff soon comes back though , her eyes still twinkling despite the stain on her apron suggesting she’s been working for a while , and quickly pipes about an offer . she hands both peter and her a little paper with sickening hearts being animatedly sketches all over the words .     "    it’s your anniversary , right ? well . our shop are gonna have a couples’ day in just a few weeks , as stated on the dates below . so if you two are interested , just come by any day from these times and if you get to answer our couple questionnaire successfully with seven out of ten marks , you can have a cake and two drinks from free ! conditions and terms may apply , of course .    ” 

          mj should’ve known this was gonna happen . in books , the sheep got eaten by a wolf and the boy who cried it couldn’t save them - in real life , they’re baited into a couples’ test when one of them ( she’s totally glaring at peter ) refuses to tell a barista that they are not , in fact , in any sorts of romantic relationship . god , mj has been friendzoned for so many years she couldn’t imagine peter being her actual romantic partner . peter kissing her ? peter calling her “hey, babe” whenever she comes home from work? peter discussing possible places for their dates ? see - impossible .

        (  she could , however , imagine a sunday night where they’re tucked in bed with his arms around her — warm and tight — and they’re talking slow about sweet nothings . mj waking him up after he’s worked all night long and fell asleep on the desk with warm dinner so he doesn’t have to wake up hungry in the morning . mj calling “hey loser” and seeing him smiling , big and wide and just for her , and when she proceeds with “i love you”, he would just - smile wider , because in her fantasy , maybe , just maybe , he might feel the same way back at her . )

     ❞    michelle.      ❞ had he hit a sore sport? oh, he didn’t want to do anything like that. it’s hard to read her, ridiculously hard – but he isn’t too sure whether or not he wants to know  ❞   what.. i’m sorry.      ❞ he wanted to question it. he wanted to ask her what she’d been through, just so he could understand. there’s so much that he wants to know. there’s so much that he doesn’t want to push – and harry’s just left standing there. fingers long to reach out and touch at her shoulder just to show that he wants to understand. and that he really was  ❞     i’m sorry. i didn’t..     ❞ he didn’t know, and it was stupid to pass comment on something that he didn’t know      ❞ i should’ve just shut up.      ❞

        of course, peter thinks michelle DOES have something really important to say. his eyes are wide as he stares up at the girl, risking getting shampoo in them just that he can make eye contact with her. really, it’s his fault when a little bit of the soapy substance ends up in his vision, making his eye twitch and start to water. he should have KNOWN she was just going to fuck with him. ❝ you’ve never complained before, and i love to cuddle right after dumpster-diving. it’s like, the best thing ever. ❞ messing with HER now, all while rubbing his eye to try and get the shampoo to stop burning him. the fact that the two of them have gone from questionably disliking each other, saying a couple of words here and there, to full on CUDDLING in a few months is pretty confusing, especially for peter. but he appreciates the closeness, more than michelle probably knows. at first talking to michelle about liz really helped, and peter thought it had something to do with just opening up about the incident. but the more time he spent with her, the more he realized it was a lot more than that. being around michelle at all is comforting, and getting to hold her and feel her heartbeat against his chest, smell her coconut-scented hair, listen to the sound of her breathing when she sometimes drifts off to sleep? well the fact that he enjoys those things so much has nothing to do with liz. his cheeks are tinged a soft shade of PINK, and he’s glad he’s facing away from her view. ❝ i mean. i try. spider-man is QUITE the ladies man. ❞ the boy grins, always loving that he gets to bring that up. especially because it’s TRUE. not that he’s especially good with the ladies, but they do seem to love him for whatever reason. ❝ you’re extra special. and not JUST because you’re the only girl not related to me that’s ever touched it. ❞ 

hazel  hues  flickered  up  to  the   least   expected  company  she  thought  she’d  have  /  a  finger  hovered  over  the  spines  of  the  novel  section . I … J … L — Lolita , did  she   say ? must  be  it . the  book  was  squeezed  snuggly  between  Little Women  &  London Blues  &  sat  atop  one  level  above  her  head . gwen  pulled  it  out  of  its  comfortable  sanctuary .   ’   you  know  a   lot   of  authors , huh . yeah , I’ll  read  it . thanks .   ’  a  hesitant  smile  was  offered .  ’ is  lord  of  the  flies  any  good ?   ’   gwen  had  this  yearning  feeling , twitchy  fingers  seemed  to  reach  out  to  it  then  retreated . she  needed  someone  who  more   about  literature  than  she  did . 

a.k.a. I’VE BEEN YELLING ABOUT THIS FOR EONS AND NOW FINALLY A COMPILATION OF MY DISCOVERY SO NOBODY CAN THINK IM CRAZY

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THERE’S ALSO THAT ONE SCENE WHEN SHE WAS CONFRONTING PETER AND THE CAMERA PAN TO VIEW PETER’S FACE AND WE GET TO SEE THE BACK OF HER HEAD ( aka the most beautiful perfect hairstyle ever the softest brown the nicest smelling hair im in love Obviously ) AND THE PURPLE STREAK THERE EXISTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

shoutout to ppl who went “bella pls chill” whenever i yell about this i am so sorry i cannot be chill but the WORLD MUST KNOW OF THE PURPLE STREAK

Peter: What?

Peter bites his lower lip to hide his smile at her pressing against his arms, liking the feeling of her so close to him. He laughs a little at her nick name, turning back to the table and looking at where a bunch of them are talking loudly with one another - watching Ned talk, as he turns back to MJ again after a moment. The group chat. Peter’s gaze goes to the counter top, picking up a napkin there as he takes in a deep breath. It shouldn’t be a big thing for him, the group chat, but all he can do is scroll up to Gwen’s last message she’d sent, a quick, out with peter but we’ll be there soon! with her usual string of the red dress dancing emoji’s behind them.  His throat feels tight, like there’s a hand gripping his heart in his chest. “I just - you know. Don’t do well, in group chats,” Peter explains, even though it’s a lie, and he knows that. He has to pick himself back up, he tells himself, don’t get stuck in this now that you’ve come all the way out here. “But come on, admit it,” Peter adds, his hand reaching to gently pinch her arm, “you wanted me here.” He did miss this, even if it still feels weird - after everything that’s happened, to be listening to their conversations, and not back in his room at home. Peter can still feel that itch, just under his skin, to put on the suit and go out there and help people. It’s sitting just under his bed, and while he’s here, looking at drink menu’s and listening to his friends talk, he could be out there. There’s a lingering sense of guilt, and Peter knows he isn’t bound to the suit, he knows that. But it feels like he won’t ever be fully whole after all of this until he puts on that suit, and he goes out and does what he knows he should be doing.  When Peter sees her lip curl into a smile, he knows he’s doing alright. Plus whenever he gets MJ to smile it feels like an accomplishment, or something, because she isn’t easily swayed. But for Peter? She smiles a lot. Or, it feels like a lot, anyway, as he feels a bit of pride well up in his chest. “You do?” Peter asks, playing along now, “I didn’t even know. He can’t be as good looking as me, though,” Peter says, smiling at her again.  Peter shrugs, looking at the drink menu for a moment before putting it back down. “Probably just a coke, or something. Or a beer,” he says, never really been one for a drink. When she mentions May, however, Peter looks over at her again. She is home tonight, spending it watching a marathon of her new show, Jane the Virgin she’s rather taken with.  But that’s how MJ works, she’s in the Parker family now, in a way. Aunt May always teases Peter she can’t wait to have MJ as a daughter in law, but Peter doesn’t understand where that comes from. They’re friends, he insists, but May just gives him a knowing look in response. But MJ fit so easily into their lives, it was almost seamless, really, with her coming over and sometimes cooking - other times May would leave a note or gift for her on the counter, thanking her for being around.  “Something with chocolate and peanut butter,” Peter says, leaning over MJ’s shoulder to look at the menu with her. He reaches to point at one option, his fingers brushing along her hand as he reads over the words, pressing his lips together in thought. “She said she was happy to have the apartment to herself tonight,” Peter adds, smiling a little. 

         ❝    you’ll do better .     ❞       it’s the little things , mj supposes : a name in a group chat , the messages they last sent , the habit you’re so used to and how you’ve manoeuvred your life around it until you realise there’s nothing at all to adjust to in the first place . it’s been months since gwen’s passed , and peter isn’t - he’s not really moving from where he stood when they first buried the blonde right in the ground - but slow progress is still progress . maybe yesterday peter wouldn’t even bother picking up shoes to wear 'cause the idea of going out still baffles him now that there’s no partner to go out with , and now he’s right here and insisting that mj must want him around , despite her lack of confirmation . 

       and funny that , because of course she does . she has always wanted him around , as a crush , a friend , a best friend , an unrequited love — she has never not want him around , which makes him dangerous , she thinks , in a way , but it’s one danger she’s willing to put up with . not that it’s a hassle to even begin with , being with peter . of course , it isn’t easy ; but mj has never opted for a simple route of living anyway . back in reality , she snorts , apart of her falling into their banter so simply — like it’s an old habit — when he mentions how good looking he is . ugh, dork . mj wonders how her eyes haven’t already fallen right out of her skull with how much she’s rolling them .    ❝    can good looks even be measured in idiots ?     ❞

        his warmth pressed against her is always — it’s nice . mj has known this long ago when they first held onto one another after a particularly bad night and peter was shaken by something that nearly happened to aunt may . they were - sixteen , she thinks . god , that seemed like so long ago . and while mj has never been fan of public display of affection , whenever she does get them in forms like these — a hand on her arm , a chin on her shoulder , a knock of shoe against her boot — it’s comforting . or maybe that’s just the crush talking . she’s really whipped , obviously . and it’s embarrassing . clearly .

      mj scrunches up her nose , turning a bit to him and is careful from knocking her nose straight into his temple , the shortie .      ❝    uh . pretty sure peanut butter and chocolate existing simultaneously in a cake does not exist , you heathen . do not get my hopes up .     ❞     so that should leave her with chocolate - anything , for may . maybe she should bake one of these days . mj couldn’t remember the last time she did that . maybe at her nephew’s third birthday . but that was , jesus , that was years ago . she wonders if may’ll be up for it .     ❝    yeah , guess having a twenty year old something nephew hogging the couch depressingly ruins the effect of a hot single woman in their fortys trying to chill .     ❞

       she rests her cheek atop of his head , just because - when one of the worker finally , breathlessly , welcomes them .

        mj orders another drink of lemonade , adds a chocolate cake in the mix and wonders if she should brought extra for ned . the staff behind the counter nods , smiling , all white-teeth and practised smiles , her bright eyes glancing once at peter .     “    and for the boyfriend ?    ”    and mj doesn’t even splutter or choke . she’s just — a little surprised . back when peter was still communicating with civilisation , they got mistaken for being a couple all the time . the most awkward one was when gwen was with them when it happened . but just like then , mj rarely misses a beat as she replies ,    ❝    oh , no we’re not dating . i’m a terminator sent from the future to make sure he wouldn’t get himself killed before he had the chance to save all humanity from an artificial intelligence created by the US military .     ❞