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What?

i got my cat one of those giant hamster wheel things so she could entertain herself then i showed her how it worked by putting her on it and spinning it slowly then faster then as fast as possible. and the good news is that she looooves her wheel. she just loooves being a hamster cat. but the bad news is that she doesn’t know how to use it solo so she will sit by it and scream until i spin the wheel for her. and if i dont go fast enough shell scream some more. so im hunched over this big wooden wheel turning it like igor and my cat is running so fast that shes panting like a dog and if I slow down even a little she’ll go MEEEOOOWWWWW and i frankly think I need to join a union or something. that bingus has no respect for me.

notice how everyone is horny today

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.