I have to say I rarely draw us in the same style. Even when we're all just "me", having the same face still feels a bit strange.
So, this is a diagram about my OSDD-1b system. What follows is my process of starting to over-share my own experiences, but if you're interested in OSDD-1b, you might find it interesting to read on. I've spent a lot of time studying us, and maybe I can eventually cure us. I know some people don't want to be healed because having only one voice in their head is lonely, but when I really tried to integrate, I felt whole, no longer needing anyone else, no longer feeling that loneliness and pain. Ultimately, we're just better together, forever, completely. And I think even if we still feel lonely in the end, we can still seek interaction with the outside world, just like everyone else.
Unlike typical dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder), we can share knowledge and memories, even though we have different personalities. It's a pity we rarely see people like us. The middle one shows us after merging; the left is my original personality, and the right is the older, current dominant personality. Yes, our psychological ages are different; I think we're stuck at the age of greatest trauma. We usually like to call each other brothers because it truly feels like that kind of relationship, so the one on the left is my younger brother (bro doesn't mind telling everyone everything because there's really no one else to share it with).
When we were separate, our personalities were extreme and almost completely opposite. Merging was more like a process of self-acceptance for us; maintaining the fusion was difficult, so usually it's just me. As an acquired personality, I think I'm the more rational one, not only because of societal and life demands, but also because Sunburst, as our imaginary friend, has always been in our minds. I think I've unconsciously become the person I wanted to be
by the way we are all FTM, ah although our fursona are intersex, i guess that maybe more like demiboy but I just love to say we are FTM. it's fine I guess that's free (Also bat pony!) My younger brother don't talk much, he always sleeping,I think that's the downside of being a secondary personality. He only appears when I subconsciously want him there; otherwise, he's more like someone who occasionally pops up to say a word. However, he's always in our subconscious, and if ignored, he, and even our bodies, will feel dissatisfied and negative. I might even be chased by him in my dreams… or perhaps from his perspective, he just instinctively wants to be near me, which is why our relationship wasn't very good before.
I think personality switching is something people are curious about. We can't completely control personality switching; only when we sincerely and without resistance call out to the other person might it succeed. Most of the time, it's just that I'm too tired or too hurt, and he has to take on the responsibilities of the primary personality. That's when he becomes our primary personality. Maybe that's why others always think we're good, even though we're not. I know it sounds strange that the original personality is the one that appears less often, but a personality is something your body creates to keep you alive from a mental breakdown when you've suffered too much trauma. I think his injuries might be more severe than mine; his PTSD in his dreams might be more severe than mine, so his dormancy is somewhat like a healing process. I used to want eternal slumber very much, but not quite like death or never waking up again; it is more like an attempt to escape responsibility, to lessen the pain. Now I think we've succeeded, only another version of myself—the current me—still needs to bear all of this, to start anew in a form shaped to better fit this world… Yes, dreams are also a form of communication for us; it feels wonderful. In them, we never truly die; even if we fight, it's always a draw. Sometimes we're together, sometimes it's just one of our dreams, the other appearing as a character or an inner voice.
