Nymph Thoughts

I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.

Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be a safe and welcoming community for everyone who was a fan of Billy Hargrove and Dacre Montgomery. While I had good intentions, I unknowingly added someone to the admin team who I thought was trustworthy that has hurt multiple people in the community with their lies and bigotry.

I'm extremely hurt right now, beyond words. My sympathies go out to those who have been hurt by this individual.

Because I made them an admin as opposed to a mod, I cannot remove them from this blog. The only option is to leave it entirely. This hurts, considering this entire blog was MY idea. My passion project. It doesn't feel fair that my only avenue is to abandon it entirely just because of this person.

So instead, I'm making a new blog. If you would like to still have a Billy source blog, please follow @hargrovedaily. At the moment, it's bare minus one post. I plan to work on it in the coming days then it'll be operating the same way this one had. The blog will be run by me and my girlfriend if she still feels up to continuing this project. After that point, if we are ever to add more members to blog, they will never be promoted to admin. No matter who it is.

As someone who is both trans and Jewish, I can't stand by and ignore everything being posted right now about this individual. I will never stand by their actions. The transphobia, antisemitism, egregious lies, manipulation, etc. displayed by them goes entirely against what this blog was intended for. I'm not gonna take this lying down.

Because they can just delete this post from the blog entirely after myself and @californiaboytoybilly leaves and remove the evidence, I'm going to be reblogging this on my main blog and tagging several of my mutuals and blogs I follow to boost this post before it potentially gets taken down so there's a record of it existing. If you see this and you're in the community, I beg you to reblog.

I'm truly sorry. This fucking sucks. I might be offline for a few days. I'm so sick of losing people.

inspired by Fire (please don't) walk with me by @ihni

七五三(Shichi-Go-San), 2023/11/15.

-

-

It's the one part of himself he won't compromise with.

He doesn't know where this stubbornness comes from, if his mom managed to install the tiniest bit of self worth in him, locked it up tight and threw away the key before she left for good or if he did that himself somehow.

But no one has managed. Not even Neil, with all his beatings and hateful bullshit. Billy never ever hates himself for being gay. He hates himself for plenty of other reasons, but never for that.

He doesn't advertise it, sure. He's not fucking stupid. But this silent defiance manifests in many different ways.

Like when he catches Heather and Zoe making out behind the supply shed after hours. Simply taps his nose at Heather's horrified expression and loudly diverts Adam's attention when the guy moves their way to put away the pool noodles.

Or when Tommy nudges him at lunch and repeats the same hushed rumour Billy has been overhearing all week "heard Buckley's a dyke" and Billy, smooth as butter goes "nah, saw her sucking face with a guy behind the diner, she likes them college age" and within another week the rumours are different, but much less fatal.

Or when Billy's in town trying to get cigarettes and he walks past a group of kids calling the Byers kid a fag and Billy doesn't hesitate to scare the living shit out of them, has them them legging it down the street before he moves on without a word, not in the mood to talk to Max's loser friend.

Or when Carl Fucking Tanner calls Billy a pansy for bailing on the party that Friday night and Billy quickly makes him regret it.

Billy isn't a good person.

But that's the one place he won't go.

Because once he leaves this shithole, once he's free from Neil and all the crap that comes with living under his roof, Billy needs one part of himself that he can live with, one part that he didn't betray no matter how bad shit got.

So when Steve asks Billy if he's into guys, Billy answers honestly, unapologetically. Because if this is the thing that's gonna make Steve hate him for real, then Steve was never worth it.

oh hello i am in fact alive

“do you ever actually think before speaking? like is your brain capable of processing a thought??” “yeah, it’s just immune to idiotic ones”

“take that back” “prove me wrong” (or; a cliché ‘make me’)

being in some sort of intense slightly pointless staring match (after an argument, preferably) and just saying “oh fuck it who cares” and pulling their neck down to kiss them

“do you the sex would be boring if we didn’t argue before it every time?” “i mean, we could always argue during”

^or, alt: doing it once when you’re not arguing instead kinda tipsy but not drunk, and it’s all giggles and laughter and sweet nothings and the next morning being like “oh fuck i actually like them”

“why does everything with you have to be so difficult!?” “it’s fun getting you all riled up”

“oh, if i had known that’s all it would take for you to shut up i would’ve done this ages ag-“ “only finish that sentence if you have a death wish”

“you’re doing it wrong” “jesus, would you just relax” “no because i’m wasting my tim- oh, oh my god-” the other character smirking, “don’t look so smug” “i think i’ve earned the right, now just trust me, okay? believe it or not, i want to make you feel good”

“so you’ll finally stop being an asshole and just sign the document?” “keep doing this and i’ll sell you my house”

getting jealous and the other character pretending that it’s unreasonable, but secretly character A is the only one they feel a spark with. the only one they feel excited to be around

“we should probably stop this” “yeah” … “we’re not going to though, right?” “oh absolutely not”

“nope no nada, no using sex to get me to do things you want, it’s not going to work anymore”

“you really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?” “yes, i believe that’s what’s on my resume”

“i hate you” “i know” “and that won’t change” “i know” “and you’re still okay with this?” no “yes”

“imagine a universe where we didn’t hate each other, that would be so-“ “boring?” “yeah! like imagine not bickering over tiny things, that’s no fun”

“she says we bicker like an old married couple”

talking with a friend; “you shouldn’t go there” “i know” “and you shouldn’t sleep with them” “i know” “it’s a bad idea” “i know” “well. will you?” “..yeah”

“i know we’re terrible for each other but every time i look at them it’s just like my brain flies out the window and my hormones take over”

“we’re broken up, it’s just two friends going out for drinks, okay?” ending up in one’s bed, but alright

Let’s all celebrate the beauty of Harringrove and the fandom creators together. Join us on December 22, 2023, to spectate the 24 Hour Harringrove Relay Race!

Keep reading for more details and the significance of this artwork.

: ̗̀➛ The meaning behind the artwork:

A winter flower, the camellia is prized for its exquisitely shaped petals and evergreen foliage. Deep red camellias can symbolize passion, love, romance, and desire and convey “my heart bleeds for you” Blue roses are rare, and a popular gift among lovers, who often give them to express their feelings for one another. Dark shades of blue roses mean mystery and a dream come true. They represent the attainment of the impossible. 

These flowers are a display of love ♡

Artwork credit goes to the talented Albsans

: ̗̀➛ What is the Harringrove Relay Race? 

A relay race is an event where every hour (or more, or less, depending on the number of participants), a creator reveals their work at an assigned time, and then "passes the baton" by introducing the next creator in line to reveal their work. 

This particular event will last for 24 hours nonstop until all the works have been revealed.

After the relay race, the artists and authors will receive a PDF memory book of all the works contributed to the race, as a thank-you for taking part.

: ̗̀➛ Where will it take place?

December 22nd, 2023 on Tumblr. All works will be shared under the #harringrove relay race tag.

Artists and authors are free to reveal their works on other platforms as long as it is at their assigned time. 

: ̗̀➛ When will the timetable and participants be revealed?

The timetable and list of participants will be revealed on December 1st, to give participants time to schedule their work or be available at their reveal time.

: ̗̀➛ Can I participate? 

Participants in the race have been personally invited, but you can support the creators by reblogging, liking, and leaving positive feedback.

Hopefully, there will be another relay race and you are welcome to send a message if you’re interested in participating next time!

There is no specific criteria or application process. we just reached out to as many people as we could think of, in the hopes that this would be successful ♡

Werewolf!Eddie X Hunter!Billy

CW: stabbing, blood

Eddie sucks in a breath through his teeth while his sharp nails dig into the back of Billy's neck. Still, he smiles and kisses Billy again. He almost seems desperate, like he needs it to live. Billy refuses to let himself believe that. Instead, he just digs the knife in deeper.

Eddie groans and moves his hand from Billy's neck to his shoulder. "You're a pain in my ass," he says, resting his forehead against Billy's.

"Likewise."

Laughing, Eddie leans back a little, his yellow eyes crinkle at the corners, and his smile is bright, showing off razor-sharp teeth. Billy should be terrified. He should see Eddie as a threat, the guy could tear him apart if he wanted to. And yet Billy is not, he's perfectly at ease, not a nerve out of place.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?"

"I've been trying."

Eddie hums, trails his fingers down the side of Billy's neck. Stopping at a pulse point, Eddie presses down, sharp nails once again breaking Billy's skin.

"If you had been trying, you wouldn't still be fucking me."

Eddie drags his fingers down Billy's chest.

"If you had been trying, you never would've told me you love me.

If you really had been trying-" He grips Billy's hand around the handle tightly, "-you would've used silver." He pulls the knife out of his own abdomen and holds it up between them. "You also would've gone for the heart."

Billy diverts his attention from Eddie to the knife, blood drips down from the blade and onto their hands.

"Honest mistake."

Eddie barks a laugh and turns away from him. "You are many thing, Hargrove, a fucking psycho for example, but a piss poor hunter is not one of them." Eddie takes his jacket off the bed and puts it on. He turns back around, eyes, now back to brown, focused on Billy. "You don't make mistakes."

He doesn't. Billy tracks Eddie's movement as he walks to the door and opens it. "Why do you keep coming back if I'm such a psycho?"

Eddie stops in the doorway and looks over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth quirking up, "I wouldn't if you weren't." Eddie steps outside and adds, "And maybe because I love you too," before closing the door.