mental reprogramming

“Be the lover you craved Be the parent you needed Be the best friend you wanted You have to be everything you’ve desired in order to accept it.”

I wake up in a sweat because every fucking dream is about you. You’re in my blood you’re in my brain my love you’re driving me insane.

“You deserve something you don’t have to question. You deserve someone who is sure of you.”

“no feelings,” he says as he wraps both of his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest.

“I feel it still Inside my soul, a little piece of you”

You were everything he was supposed to be. I used to look into swarms of pedestrians and only see people who were not him. But now, as we;re just standing here in the middle of the sidewalk outside my building, with red brake lights flashing around us, everyone is rushing, spreading outwards; meanwhile we’re just here together, still, waiting for something neither of us can name and all I can do is study your eyes and the way the light from the streetlamp beside us twists and turns within the river that is your iris and the tiny strands of your hair entangled in your eyelashes and the small freckle under your eyelid… I stand here and I don’t see someone else, I see you. And I hope, god do I hope, that maybe you see me too.

Silence was the only thing left.

I have dealt with the crisis in my heart Turning the crumpled paper restlessly. I see no smoothness on its mottled face, The creases are intrusive to my eyes. The calmness was a memory in my mind That my quiet room painted and hung up for me I am jealous of it, desiring to be such stillness Not even my tired hands could disarray the air And the thing in my heart devours me With a mouth full of thunder and rain I hear nothing but the rumble of thoughts Rising up and sticking at my throat. I have tasted what I cannot say I find peace in my subtle strength To keep order of the tempest in my bones. I have made my home in storms.

Sometimes I fall asleep just to see your face again.

While You Were Sleeping

Myths about emotions (DBT)