Dirk

im sure people enjoy imagining lets be honest with ourselves for a moment here darlin lets not forget who you are its unbecoming

Oh, I have no doubt they enjoy imagining these things, who would blame them? If there’s one thing I never forget, it’s who I am. I just look in the mirror and I don’t think ‘Who is that handsome, beautiful man?’ I immediately think ‘I am such a handsome, beautiful man’. No, that’s a lie actually. I immediately think ‘Damn, I want to bang the hell out of that.’ then the previous thought follows.

How long do you last in bed?

I’m reassured but being so static doesn’t appeal to me, however my very existance is dependant on change.

Each to their own, man. Each to their own. I’m pretty cool with how I am now so change to myself isn’t really a thing that appeals to me.

I highly doubt that but it’s good to see you haven’t changed while you were gone.

Unlike many things in life, you’ll find that my personality is always a constant. Much like the rest of me, I love my personality and would be crushed if it were to ever change. Rest assured, it will never change.

gasp the delightful scandal of it all man holy shit there on things on that list that i wouldnt even DREAM of attempting geez being a naiad must be wild

Our lives are the wildest - certainly not for the faintest of hearts or libidos. It’s hard - oh, it’s always hard - but we manage. Offers a suffering sigh. People can only imagine how hard it is all the time. 

ahhh yes of course how could i forget that lil ol detail im sorry how can i ever face you after that slip up also i demand some details gimme the deets

Well - and this may surprise you so you’d better mentally prepare for it - but a lot of my time has been spent in this super luxurious spring in a beautiful forest out in the middle of no where. I’ve mostly been doing *********** and a bit of ************* and a whole fuckin’ lot of ******** **** ***. My brother and I know how to keep busy and perform our duties as naiads after all. Once we finished with the  ********ing we moved on to *************** ******** ****. Then did a little more  ***********. You know how it is.

eye roll nymphic duties my ass you were busy fucking around dont even play smh youd better have some cool stories at least tsk

That is, in fact, part of my nymphic duties. Playing around is also part of my nymphic duties. I’m a very dutiful man. And I always have cool stories, in fact I never run out of them. All you have to do is ask and I’ll get right down to the dirty details. The dirtiest details.