I'm Your Lionheart

This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard

Congratulations! You have come into the possession of your very own INFJ unit, probably through a poetry slam at an underground coffee shop. In all likelihood, they have only offered you this manual after you expressed your intense love for Fight Club and organic tea. Give yourself a pat on the back for earning their trust.

Your INFJ unit will come equipped with the following accessories:

One (1) emotional sponge

Two (2) everyday outfits

Two (2) old man/history teacher/librarian outfits

One (1) Harry Potter outfit inspired by their house

Two (2) bookshelves fully stocked with books and sentimental knickknacks

Two (2) cabinets of herbal tea

One (1) set of Star Wars movies on BluRay

One (1) animal companion

Three (3) unrealistic plans for their life

Infinite (∞) deep thoughts, ideas, and questions

Infinite (∞) unfinished projects

Software:

Your INFJ will come preprogrammed with the following traits;

Ni: Your INFJ will frequently freeze due to its complex thoughts, but don’t worry, INFJ will always return to share its inner workings. Unless it has to do with their feelings. (See Troubleshooting pg 6) You may find that your INFJ is psychic. This mode is only installed on some units, but do not be alarmed if it is installed on yours. It is still in beta, so be wary of predictions. Your INFJ may struggle to talk in non-symbolic language. If your INFJ warns you not to do something, it is advised to listen.

Fe: INFJ units consider everyone’s emotions but their own, and it is an essential part of caring for them to help them relieve their own emotions. INFJs often put on different personas to avoid conflict and to put others at ease. This may come across as fake or masking their own values, but this is, in fact, on of their values. Your INFJ will motivate you and make you feel important, but often forgets to do so for themselves.

Ti: This function filters the Fe function, making sure that your INFJ is being logical. Beware INFJ door slams, often when your INFJ is in a Ni-Ti loop. (See Troubleshooting pg 7) The INFJ door slam is almost impossible to override, and once you’ve lost your INFJ’s trust it will be very hard to regain it. However, it is very hard to cause a doorsl as INFJ’s are very patient.

Se: This function only works in certain modes, but it allows your INFJ to act quickly in. A certain context. Your INFJ’s Se function allows them to quickly bring in new information for Ti to process and categorise. Se will either function properly to balance Ni and ensure the Ni’s ideas are feasible, or it will malfunction and cause Ni burnouts.

Getting Started:

1. Place cup of tea (preferably from their collection) next to your INFJ.

2. Put a book of poetry in your INFJ’s hands.

3. Set your INFJ’s animal companion next to them.

4. Allow your INFJ to charge by reading and cuddling their companion.

5. If step 4 does not work, initiate a conversation about psychology with your unit.

6. If your INFJ still doesn’t start, take them to a dusty bookshop and allow them to roam for 4+ hours.

Modes:

Deep (default) - Asks too many questions. Zones out only to excitedly return and talk about dinosaurs and stars. May accidentally talk in cryptic symbolism.

Therapist - Activated when confronted with emotions. Uses hugs and possibly the Sarcastic mode to cheer you up. Will sit with you quietly until you are emotionally stable and then bombard you with questions, water, and food.

Sarcastic - Activated usually when in a boring situation. Uses Ti to make very funny, sometimes cutting remarks on the stupidity of the topic.

Protective Dad Friend - Activated after Therapist. Will beat anyone who hurts you with a bat. Will not let you stay in a bad relationship. Overly protective.

Closed off science nerd - Overly excited about elements and Newton’s Three Laws of Motion. Will lock themselves in their room and read 42 Wikipedia pages. Activated when around NT units.

Relationships with other units:

NFs: Often activates Protective Dad Friend and Therapist modes. INFPs may feel devalued by INFJ, but will get along eventually.

NTs: Gets along well when in Sarcastic mode or Closed off science nerd. Good for bouncing ideas off of. NTs check the feasibility of INFJ’s ideas.

SJs: Difficult to communicate between each other, especially when INFJ is in Closed off science nerd mode. INFJ enjoys how responsible and put together SJs are.

SPs: INFJs appreciate SP’s spontaneous and fun loving nature. SPs may overwhelm your INFJ with their sensing function.

Feeding:

Your INFJ may forget to eat when in the following modes: Closed off science nerd, Therapist, Protective Dad Friend, and Deep. Notice that they may forget to eat in their default mode, so feed them at least two (2) times daily. Your INFJ will not die if left to fend for its own food, but it may shut down temporarily.

Grooming:

Your INFJ will groom regularly if it has a duty such as school or work. Your INFJ may forget to groom if it has an extended break. Make sure to remind them of mundane tasks like brushing teeth and hair, changing their clothes, and showering.

Sleeping:

Your INFJ unit will try to convince you and themselves that they do not need sleep. Do not listen to them. They need at least four (4) hours of sleep. INFJs have a tendency to be insomniacs when in their default mode.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Help! I lost my INFJ in a bookstore/coffee shop/similar venue!

Your INFJ is probably hiding from other humans, or engaging in a deep conversation with an old man. Fear not, they will come find you in no longer than 2 hours.

Do I get to keep my INFJ?

Yes, probably! INFJs often bond for life, both platonically and romantically! Once you have established a relationship with INFJ it is hard to get rid of them. But be careful of the INFJ door slam.

I left my INFJ alone for a weekend and now they’re shut down. What do I do?

Refer to Getting Started. If you have a well established relationship with your INFJ, perhaps integrate cuddling/hugging into the Getting Started process.

stressed out? cry. confused? cry. happy? cry. emotional movie? cry. scared? cry. you respond to every possible emotion by crying. and you have to tell people not to panic because like? you just cry a lot and not to take it personally but like 

Three-legged animals get adopted super fast.  Don’t adopt a three-legged animal because you think no one else will want it, because that’s what everyone thinks.

Animals with less visible, higher-maintenance conditions like diabetes or seizure disorders are much more difficult to place.  An old deaf cat with urinary problems doesn’t have the “aww” factor of a three-legged kitten.

Small dogs get adopted much faster than big dogs.  Understandable when a lot of people in the area live in small homes.

Puppies and kittens get adopted super fast.  100% of the time.  We had waiting lists for puppies and kittens.  Adult dogs and cats, even young adults, even with fantastic personalities and obedience training, were always harder to place.

Small animals are hard to place.  Because it’s so easy to buy a hamster or rat at a pet store, people are less likely to think of going to a shelter for them.

Pitbulls are very hard to place, and a lot of them came into the shelter.  It’s too bad since most of them were really sweet dogs.

We went to a lot of effort to not shame people for surrendering an animal.  Even if their reason for surrendering was irresponsible, it was still a responsible choice to take the animal to a shelter instead of dumping it in the woods, and we never wanted to punish someone for making that choice.

Likewise, we would be careful not to give anyone a hard time for adopting a purebred puppy instead of an elderly pit mix, because it’s good that they’re adopting at all, and again we never want to punish that.

The most common reason for surrender was elderly people becoming ill or dying and not having any family able/willing to take care of their pets.  :(

Although it wasn’t a “no-kill” shelter, we only euthanized animals that were aggressive or terminally ill.  If an animal was adoptable but had no takers, we’d ship it to another shelter, a breed rescue, a foster home, or we’d just keep it there as long as necessary.  At least while I was there, we never euthanized an animal for lack of space.