The sincerity of Dorianâs statement completely took him aback. Suddenly it seemed as though this was much more than just a breakup. Like Dorian was, in fact, used to being alone and this was more like validation. Jack was no psychiatrist, but heâd seen a few in his day. He could almost see what was going on here. Still, Dorian seemed the type to have tons of friends. He saw how his fellow students practically threw themselves at him. Perhaps he wasnât as superficial as originally thought.Â
âI wonât need to leave here for a couple hours. I have no problem with you spending your evening with me.â Jack was truly lucky that there had never really been any point in his life where heâd been alone. That being said, he could sympathize. Those he was closest to hadnât been so lucky.Â
âEmotionally unavailable, hmm?â He capped his grading pen and removed his glasses he wore for teaching, finally accepting the fact that no more work would be completed that evening. âI canât say I know what that means, either⌠Not that Iâm any authority on relationships.â Heâd only ever been in one relationship, after all. If his partner was being emotionally unavailable, it usually meant he was stressed or worried.
âBut when I hear that, I think that he thinks youâre either hiding something from him or that you donât trust him enough to open up completely. Would you ever want to date someone who is obviously hiding something?â He folded his arms across his chest and heaved a sigh. âYou say you donât want to be alone. When was the last time you dated someone? Before him, I mean⌠Have you consigned yourself to the thought that youâre meant to be alone? If you truly believe that, then it would surely take some work to open up to someone.âÂ
Dorianâs laugh could be described as nothing less than maniacal. Jack found himself staring unblinkingly, finding the act akin to something out of a horror film. He half expected flies to start crawling out of Dorianâs gaping, laughing mouth.Â
Once theyâd both regained their wits, he spoke, âI think youâre wrong, Mr. Gray. Love works in mysterious ways. There is nothing about you that would make you impossible to love.âÂ
âThank you,â Dorian murmured. He could go back home. He didnât have to be alone there. He could go home and throw a party, fill the place up with people and alcohol, but it would mean nothing. Heâd still be alone, surrounded by people who didnât truly know him and never would, never could. It wasnât the same. Granted, Jack didnât truly know him either, but Dorian had a feeling that the patient professor understood far more than he might realize. After all, he had studied the very story of his life.Â
He grunted around a sip of his drink, making a face more at himself. He did understand it- what emotionally unavailable was supposed to mean. At least, Dorian thought he got it. As Jack mentioned not opening up to his boyfriend, well, he hit the nail right on the head. Dorian tilted his head, considering the question. âOf course I wouldnât. But I also know that there are often secrets which one cannot share with even the closest of friends or lovers. There are sometimes secrets in oneâs life which no one could ever understand.â
He straightened a little, pouting as he squared his shoulders. âI am always dating someone. Or fucking someone. Iâm rarely alone.â And that was the truth, but it also meant it was rare for Dorian to have any kind of real connection with someone. âNo one really wants me to open up to them. They like my looks. They want to own me.â He flicked a curl from his face and took another sip from his glass. âThatâs all.â
Dorian snorted, then giggled this time. He finished the glass again and lowered it to rest on his thigh. âDonât be so naive, Professor. Surely you know that some souls are far more rotten than anyone can see.â