soldier on

You…want to teach me to lie? Huh. Well, I definitely don’t think you should give up on acting so, I gotta be supportive. You can teach me. 

M’not givin’ up. S’jus’ a hobby now. An’ now it’s a hobby I get t’teach m’boyfriend who’s a shite liar.

Did you want me to lie? We both know I’m really bad at that. 

Yer righ’, yer a shite liar. We can work on tha’ though. Ye know I’ve still got m’actin’ chops, I can teach ye.

Ah…let’s just say, y’know… a bit of both. 

Well, at least yer honest,

Alright, fine. You can have it. You know, you make it really hard for me to say no. 

Aye? Was it th’pout or me sutbly pushin’ m’boobs up?

Well, hold on a second. That’s not what I meant. You really, really want this brownie, don’t you? 

Mhmm. And I like t’win.

Kinda, yeah. The only other person that can take me down is Wren and that’s because she knows all the pressure points.

Ooh, looks like I need t’get some vital information out o’ tha’ sister o’ yers.

I know for a fact that you will, but I still kinda wanna see it. 

Ye want t’see me figh’ ye?

I dunno, maybe. 

I’ll figh’ ye, soldier boy. Don’t think I won’t.

Well, if you reeeeally think I’m that worried about my figure and not about you trying this delicious brownie then maybe I should rethink giving it to you….. 

Yer holdin’ it hostage ‘cause I might’ve underestimated th’Grady Kindness?

You know, you’re right. My pants are feeling a little tight, too. But those brownies were amazing so I’m not sure I regret that. Well of course, only the best for you. Which I guess means you get the last brownie. 

Either yer bein’ a righ’ gent, or ye just don’t wanna get pudgier. But either way m’takin’ th’brownie.

I might not be, after all of those. Hey! Those cost way more than a dollar, maybe….five. Six. 

S’true, yer lookin’ kinda pudgy! Ooh, m’datin’ a righ’ big spender, eh? Is this m’Pretty Woman moment?

Hit pan? Like how someone who is definitely not me hit pan on this tray of brownies? I dunno….

S’a good job yer fit, babe. But yeah, sorta like tha’, except a NARS foundation palette doesn’t jus’ cost a dollar.

I’m not pissed, Quinn. But I’m the one you’re upset with, don’t take it out on her because of that. Maybe that’s not fair of me to ask but if you’re wanting to be angry at someone you can do that to me, instead. 

Please don’t lecture me on behalf of your girlie, Jay. You’re setting feminism back a bunch of years. I’ll be nice, alright? Cross my heart.

Right. Got it. 

Now you’re pissed.

… On your account.

And is that on my account or because you actually don’t like her? 

Uh…