i just work here...

     her eyes went momentarily wide at the word squirt. then she snorted through her nose uncontrollably which was swiftly followed by a short laugh. clearing her throat, bev gathered herself and tried to ignore the rush of adrenaline the sugar gave her. “yes. a drink would be lovely,” she practically hummed. “yes, fruit. it’s fine. absolutely great,” she grinned. absolutely a bad idea to add more sweetness into her stomach, but there was no stopping her now. 

     the festival was something bev looked forward to every year. it was the one time she didn’t feel overwhelmed by social procedures, and she simply took it all in and enjoyed every minute. she also enjoyed cotton candy. probably more than a healthcare professional should. folding her hands under her chin, she could feel the sugar high coursing through her system. her vision was lined with a pink tint, giving the impression he had an aura of bubblegum delight. smiling big, bev considered the option. “well, I’ve had copious amounts of sugar in the past hour alone, so I think some tequila is in order. help wash it down.” 

     his cool hand on her wrist felt so good, she forgotten he still held her their. between the initial panic of introducing herself to the scene and floundering completely with the first person she spoke to, bev was feverish and her face colored deeply with the overwhelming emotions she battled. but as she looked up at the man, she was struck that he was still standing there and now holding her hand. albeit skeptical underneath his infinite confidence, she reasoned if only to herself. it was still the longest conversation she’d had outside of work. and she’d be damned if she was going to go home tonight talking herself into never showing her face outside of the medical center again. steeling herself, and borrowing some of his bravo, bev nodded as he chuckled at her expense. “you’ll have to keep an eye on me. there’s no telling just what I might do.” she was thankful he navigated so well through the crowds, and she did her best to stick to his side and keep up. once they reached the bar, she smiled openly at his comment. after he ordered, she leaned across the counter, and placed hers. “bed of roses, please. extra cherry.”      lowering herself back down, she stood back and faced the other. for a moment, she was struck with nothing to say before she remembered they hadn’t introduced themselves properly, as he said. brushing a strand of hair off her face and tucking it behind her ear, she grinned. “I’m beverly lopez. a nurse, like I so eloquently said earlier. I work here, actually.” she would offer her hand if he weren’t holding it.

     her hand still chilled from the glass pressed to her forehead in complete humiliation. her heart skipped a beat, and honestly, the adrenalin of being out of her element took over. she started giggling uncontrollably. “I’m--that’s perfect. yes, I’m sorry,” she stated as her hand fell away from her reddening face so that she could look up at him sincerely. “I’m just a little nervous. as if that weren’t obvious.” she took a breath. then another. “I would love a drink!” her eyes tore away from his face to look for the bar. “what are the chances of you forgetting that and us trying that one again?” her eyes landed on the area they could head to get that drink. it was crowded as well, but the further away she was away from the basic dry humping to music, the more she felt she could get a handle on herself and the situation. probably. 

      she was expecting to be closer to bodies than was ordinarily socially acceptable, but the appearance of this man was quite another thing. a drink was pressed into her hand as she was still trying to comprehend his approach. she floundered a bit, her mouth open as she looked between him and the offered beverage. it was a sweet thought; however, her warning bells sounded all the same. “no, thank you.” she said with a smile. bev wished she had a drink in that fateful moment, and it was amazing that he seemed to poof into existence with the very thing at just that instant. she found herself giggling at the timing. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m a nurse, and I literally warn my patients all the time not to take drinks from strangers. it’s an occupational hazard.” she gave the glass back to him. “please don’t be offended.” gosh, but he was tall. she craned her neck up to meet his crystal blue eyes. 

     “I didn’t see anything,” she spat out a little too quickly. bev usually did morning laps if she had trouble getting into a good groove before the work day. it helped shake off whatever sleep she was missing, and it kept her in shape. this morning, she slept past her alarm, so she thought she’d finish the day with a lap or two to balance the odds. batting at his trunks, she eventually got a hold on them and held them out in front of her as she swam over to the edge where he was standing. naked. her eyes burned as she forced them to his feet. “it happens to be best of us,” she said in a cheery tone. sure, it didn’t happen to her, but she was sure it happened to some people. anyway, anything to get rid of some of the embarrassment here. even if it was only hers. 

     the blue room and bar after a late shift was one thing. a quick lunch in la luna whenever she remembered to eat was one thing. this... deuces nightclub at the peak of the night on her off day was... completely bonkers. “what the hell am I thinking?” she laughed to herself. of course, the break in sanity was lost to the thumping music. her heart matched the beat of the current song. it was frightening at first glance, but then she realized the lights were bright and strobes over the dance floor and the music was loud and hypnotic. she could very easily lose herself in this crowd of dancing bodies. “don’t think, don’t think, don’t think,” she muttered and slowly eased into the fray. 

     she went through the motions of a few tragedies, but the worst was when she actually was attached to the outcome. that history was seriously checkered. sighing, she stepped into a nice dress, deep purple, and checked her face in the mirror. the heels were by her bed, and a knock on her door came just as she was putting her earrings in. “just a minute!” jogging over to the bed, she quickly shoved her feet into the shoes then high stepped over to the door. “hi,” she greeted with a warm smile. “I’m ready,” she lied. “I just need to grab my purse.” 

     “I don’t mind, really. the invitation was open and I promise you didn’t wake me up.” bev couldn’t sleep last night if she wanted to. so when the other showed up at her door close to one in the morning, she was happy for the distraction. standing in front of the stove, bev spooned some eggs onto the plate of toast, sliced fruit, and sausage. she handed it to the girl sitting at the counter once she’d finished preparing it. with a smile, she asked. “what would you like to drink?”

     “is this the part where I describe some scene from a bit of porn that got me hot one night, and now I’m supposed to base my whole sexual experience around the mediocre encounters that are reality--building it up in my head just to be disappointed either physically inevitably and emotionally all the other times?” she rolled one shoulder and tilted her head back a little to think. “I guess it’d be great to be pinned to a wall or against a mattress or where ever. just make me feel like you can’t wait until you’re inside me, surrounded me like I want to be surrounded by you. a starving guy that finds my body to be the oasis he’s been searching the horizon for. marking my neck and breasts and thighs with his mouth in between breaths of the most romantic shit you could ever hear. just total animal passion narrated by william shakespeare, you know? beautiful to the point of incomprehension. that’s the expectation. the reality is maybe a minute before he shakes on top of me like he’s never seen the sun or something and tells me I remind him of his mom before he sneaks out for the night.” 

@smoothxoldfashioned

     bev didn’t get out of the medical center of votive enough. it was no secret and for the most part, people began to accept it as part of her. if you wanted to find her, you had to be bleeding from somewhere or sneak back into the supply closets where she would be organizing a new shipment. cassidy used to pop in with snacks and things for her, but it had been a while. bev reasoned that her friend was busy with work. as she undoubtedly was usually. just when she was about to drive herself mad with worry, though, bev spotted the small woman wandering nearly out of view. “hey!” she called out like the crazy person she was. “cass! where have you been? I was sure you’d fallen down a flight of stairs by now and come to get it taken care of.” it was a joke, of course, but doubt was a dangerous influence. especially on a suspicious mind such as bev had. she wouldn’t admit she worried that the escort had become bored with her company. 

     “great! nurse adams will get your current information for your chart and I’ll be back with some things to fix you right up,” bev informed the patient. leaning over to grab the clipboard, bev walked over to minnie and handed it over. “thanks, minnie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” she started out of the exam room to talk further with the other. “I just got some more supplies in the other day, so we should be fully prepared for whatever comes in for us. do you have anything to update me with? anyone I might have missed already?” bev was more than a little aware that the weekends were their busiest time. she had readied to prepare then during the slow part of the week, and she did her best to give minnie all the details. 

     she was startled at first by his change. her defenses immediately wanted to fight back and confirm all her worst fears--that his spontaneous show of affection was just that, spontaneous. his arm around her and the warmth of him battled against that negativity. it felt so good that he stayed, that he was trying to... what? relax her. make her happy. she took a deep breath and smiled back at him even with the clouds in her eyes. “yes,” she found herself saying. “we should talk.” talking was good. they could really get down to the details and all the answers she had questions for. it felt reassuring that he wanted to work it out too. she reached out for his chest, hesitantly. her fingers curled back against her palm as if she didn’t know whether or not she were allowed. then she placed her hand over his heart. was it beating like hers? fast and scared and so, so alive. “it’s ok for you not to smile if you don’t feel it, fred,” she whispered. it was like she were thinking out loud instead of speaking to him. practice, she supposed, for their dinner together. she looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “it’s ok if you’re not ok. I can help you.”