invece di morire ho imparato a respirare

I scrolled through it and reminisced the joy that this contest used to bring me. The tallying of my favourites, watching the fun, shiny acts, the endless anticipation for something fun that I'd been waiting for all year, and, of course, doing it all with friends and tumblr mutuals. What a lovely tradition that I am still so happy got to be a part of my life.

And what struck me wasn't just how I no longer have that in my life, but how it feels like the e b u has changed the contest itself beyond my recognition... The vibes are awful. The atmosphere is evil. There is no silliness, no levity, no focus on integrity. Everything is centred around *that country*

This year, when the contest came up in conversation at work, I decided to explicitly say 'I am boycotting because of Isr/ael's participation' to shut down the topic. Everyone nodded, continued to say a few things about it, which I was fine with, but the vibes are off among casual viewers and have been for some time.