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staying naked after a shower is fine. i live alone and it's warm enough. my home is my castle. underwear on but no shirt is good also. minimal semblance of dressedness. shirt with no underwear however? unspeakable freak shit. i am a defenseless little slut and i need to be bred. that's what shirt with no underwear says

this account has been sold to a company who wants you to buy clawed roof tiles sorry

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

I've been in an evil mood for hours and I just discovered there was a piece of glitter stuck in my contact lens so I'm going to assume it was that the whole time and now the curse has been lifted.

yeah it was the eye glitter. I'm fine now.

What in the fuck did you possibly do to get hit with the modern day “shard of magical ice in eye that freezes your soul and makes you unable to recognize joy” curse? Like come back here that is literally how the fairytale goes, WHAT happened to you

Cast in a rock opera about vampires that is set in the 80s. There's a lot of glitter.

due to increasing demands and excessive unsustainable hunting of worms, the Early Bird gets nothing now, reports say.

BREAKING: Early Bird and life-long partner found dead at their luxurious Beverly Hills nest; one stone suspected as murder weapon.

in other news: local mother hen counted all her chickens before they hatched and put all her eggs in one basket; you wont believe what happened next! more at 11.

"ingredients you can pronounce" i can pronounce anything

I’ve tried a few porn games, but all they have such bad user design. so like one of the games was a platformer, I thought okay, I used to play mario, this’ll be no problem. WRONG. I couldn’t even get through the first level. two straight hours of missing the same jumps and near sobbing about it. at what point am I supposed to get horny? I can’t even reach the naked demon lady because I CANNOT! MAKE! THE JUMPS! so I try another game about seducing milfs. you need to clean the milf’s house to make her like you. okay, I have limited energy per in-game day, so I vacuum her house, I tidy her magazines, I clean her dishes, I go to sleep. this repeats for days. the milf still doesn’t like me. why?? I’ve spent real hours of my life vacuuming her digital floor. why won’t the milf fall in love with me? what am I doing? what am I doing?

Squinting grumpily at the latest "system-neutral fantasy sourcebook" trying to puzzle out which specific version of Dungeons & Dragons the author is picturing when they imagine a perfectly generic RPG.

you stole dog blood