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I understand that when soulslikes do the whole "the Golden Age was a self-serving lie, the Kingdom has always been as rotten as it is now" thing they mean societally, but sometimes I like to imagine they mean it, like, physically. The Guardian of the Realm has always been a nine foot tall horsedog.

What's wrong with being a nine foot tall horsedog is what I want to know. They can guard the realm as well as anyone.

I'd argue they can guard the realm even better than, for instance, an eight foot tall justdog

I dislike the violence and unpredictability of the ice dispenser

today our zoo had an annual 21+ day where there's beer n wine stands and no kids and it turns out when you remove the families from a zoo everyone left is lesbians

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

i think ppl would be a lot happier and better-adjusted on here if they realized that being online on a website is like being in any other casual public space full of people. if u walk into walmart u dont immediately think to yourself “i have to be friends with everyone in this walmart and if not everyone likes me i’m a failure” and u really shouldn’t feel that way online either. likewise if there’s a guy in the walmart parking lot shouting obscenities u probably wouldn’t answer him and that’s literally an exact equivalent to some of the weird stuff that people on here seem to feel they’re obligated to respond to.

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

no animal was harmed during the making of this video. not one. for the few minutes that we were shooting film, the guns of each hunter fell silent. the industrial bolt throwers observed a moment's peace and the jaws of every predator hung softly open. no fish bit any hook and the bait worms held off on drowning only until the cameras stopped. the tails of ruminants ceased to flick just as their attendant flies, in unison, landed on their flanks to catch their tiny breaths. a spider instantly stopped winding silk around a wasp, patiently waiting for the caesura to end. a young veterinarian paused with the syringe in their hand. somewhere, a colicky baby stopped biting its mother's nipple and nursed happily for the very first time. we're sorry. we're sorry it couldn't have been longer. we didn't know this would happen.