softies only

Four years, four Christmases. Mark and Jaemin navigate what it means to be home.

“Well, you’re all my home.”

Donghyuck has always been there, even when he wasn’t. He filled the spaces of Jeno’s monochrome world with sunshine yellow. Jeno never wants to go back.

“No, mom. Honestly. I think he’s my soulmate.”

“That’s nice, honey. Eat your vegetables.”

(In Love With You.)

Mark says the L-word.

“It took me five tries, you know. To say this - to come to the realization that I love you.”

a markmin au

Jaemin waits ten hours that day. In total, he’s waited 8,760 hours. A year. Jaemin thinks that, no matter what, he’ll keep waiting.

to johnny seo, there’s no better couple costume. you disagree.

or:

“we’d be cute,” he says, turning towards you. “don’t you think?”

huh, he thinks. i’m not the tallest one.

alternatively: johnny seo finds his home on the courts.

or:

“you’re like... tall. but you’re not that tall when you’re out there,” donghyuck says to johnny.

“yeah, i know. that’s why i like it.”

or, when johnny isn’t the tallest person around for once in his life.

dong sicheng knows a lot - he knows everything, he could argue. despite it all, he keeps learning.

or:

dong sicheng knows. he doesn’t ever say it out loud, but he knows.

the future is uncertain, but nakamoto yuta is sure that he’ll figure it out.

or:

whenever someone needed help, they were sure to ask nakamoto yuta.

in 21 short years, qian kun learns to love himself, for himself.

or:

qian kun was one thing. qian kun is very happily another.

jung jaehyun really loves his job. sometimes he wonders if there’s a better job out there.

or:

jaehyun always told everyone that children are important - that they are the nation’s future. no one ever disagreed, but he still felt the need to prove everyone wrong.

mark lee says he hates a lot of things - the holidays, glitter, wicker chickens.

or:

the holiday season at homegoods means two things to mark lee: business and glitter.

johnny seo is the best older brother. donghyuck and mark could list a million reasons why. here are just a few.

or:

johnny is donghyuck’s favorite older brother.

johnny is mark’s favorite older brother.

some moments stand out more than others.

hi! i will be posting some au’s on twitter! i am also there under the twitter handle @nsofties! please follow me there if you’d like!

so far i’ve posted older brother!johnny and homegoods employee!mark.

perhaps kun is in love with the regular who always comes in at 7:17 in the morning and orders a small coffee, no cream or sugar, and who will scroll through their phone at the table by the window, the light gently streaming in through the glass

perhaps kun is in love with them until they stand up and leave at 7:27, exactly ten minutes after they entered

he never asks for their name

he never asks for anything except their order with a polite smile and perhaps a bit of a friendlier tone than he would offer to anyone else

he never asks for anything more than their soft replies and slight smiles

perhaps kun is in love with a person whose life he has created, unaware of the daily rituals they actually lead outside of the café

kun is in love with an idea - ten had always warned him that his imagination was a powerful thing, and he always scoffed and scoffed and scoffed and... maybe there was - there is - some truth to ten’s words

johnny stares at the computer screen with the list of phone numbers in front of him with an exhausted expression

being a trainee is hard

but being a trainee and needing money was even harder

and johnny didn’t want to admit it, not when other trainees were receiving money from their parents every week and johnny’s parents had already dropped money every vacation during high school for him to head to korea for training or to rent out rooms for him to practice in

and so he found this job after graduating high school and moving to korea

a call center, nothing flashy, but one of the few places he could find that was looking for employees and allowed him flexible hours

he thought it couldn’t be bad, right? just call people, make an offer, they hang up, and it’s one down, plenty more to go

meet a quota, get paid, have money to pay for things he needs and the company doesn’t cover

johnny was very wrong

people just - never picked up. and he understands. he understands completely - spam calls are annoying and -

he pauses in surprise as someone picks up his call

“hello? uh, is this seungmin? it’s late... i’m sorry, i know you gave me your number the other day in class, but i lost the paper and -“

the voice is so soft - so soft and friendly and inviting, that johnny feels his heart constrict

and before he knows it, he’s crying

the tears pooling on the small desk, he the only person working the one am shift and he never expected someone to pick up, especially at such a late time and

“seungmin? hello? are you - are you okay? i’m sorry - we don’t have to work on our project tonight if you don’t want! i know it’s super late i’m sorry my shift at the store went longer than i thought and -“

“i’m sorry... i’m sorry, this isn’t seungmin. uh... my name... my name’s johnny, i work for a call center and i - i’m calling about insurance and i -“

“it’s okay”

your voice startles johnny

“wh-what?”

“johnny, right? it’s okay.”

for a moment, his crying stops - it’s a very brief moment, but it feels like it’s been forever since he was told it’s okay

all he had been told was “you can do better” “you shouldn’t be making these mistakes” “how do you think you’ll debut with this work ethic?” “do you think you deserve to debut?” “work harder” “do better”

and before johnny knows it, he’s talking about everything - about being a trainee, going back and forth between korea and america, feeling left out and unable to make real connections because of his constant training and traveling, how expensive everything is and how he feels like he’s a burden to his parents financially and emotionally, how all his friends have debuted and now he’s watching people who joined the company after him debut and sure he’s happy for them, but he wishes that could be him he’s been training for so long for his entire life and now and now and now -

“it’s okay”

johnny pauses, wiping away his tears. he looks at the length of the call - it’s already been two hours and

“oh god you had to work on a group project right didn’t you? i’m so sorry i - you can go thank you i - no one picks up anymore and so i haven’t met my quota in forever but you’ve helped so much and -“

“it’s okay. really. it sounds like you really needed to get some stuff of your chest. i totally understand. and seungmin can wait - the project isn’t due for another week. talk all you want”

johnny glances at the time on his computer and he cringes - his shift ends in a few minutes and then he’s off to the studio to practice dancing

“can i... can i give you my number? like, not my work number, but i mean, you know, my number i mean i know, that’s weird, i’m a stranger and so i -“

“sure. i don’t... i mean, i don’t know you all that well, but it looks like you really need someone to talk to about things. so, it’s okay. it’s easier to talk to strangers, right?”

“right - right you’re right okay hold on my number is -“

and that’s how you and johnny start to talk

for the first time in what seems like forever, johnny feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders

he looks forward to the moments when he can message you or call you and sure it becomes harder when he’s in america for vacations, but the moment he’s told he’s being added to nct 127, you’re the next person he tells after his parents

and you celebrate with him, the two of you having a phone call and drinking and eating chicken and

it’s moments like these that makes johnny feel... normal

and, as he sends in his recognition to the call center, he thinks that maybe it wasn’t as bad as he thought

it’s really only a brief moment between the state of being awake and being asleep that mark loiters in

but for him, it feels as if it lasts a lifetime

for mark, this moment - this finite yet everlasting stretch of time that stands between him and sleep... for mark, it’s something that the looks forward to

as everyone else retires for the night and the nights go out and the only sounds are of cars outside and people laughing on their way back home from the bars

mark revels in this sort of other dimension

this hazy place where noises are muffled and it is mostly him with his thoughts

he wonders if maybe he should just give in - sleep sounds pretty nice and his body feels heavy

the AC is blasting and part of him wishes to turn it off and stop the white noise from letting him hear the sounds of late at night

but part of him also revels in the fact that he can still be wrapped up in a blanket in the middle of august

he thinks about tomorrow and today and yesterday and his memories are blurring together as sleep approaches, but he still smiles to himself in his half-asleep state at the good memories from the day and closes his eyes in an attempt to forget the bad

he knows it’s only a few more hours before he has to be awake

and that kills him inside a little - he wishes he could sleep for days

hi hi ~

i am currently in the process of moving out of my house! so i will update again when i am settled in ~

will be posting college!taeyong and college!ten as well as high school!jaemin ~ also baker!haechan and sleepy!kun ~